First Timers - slightly depressing question

I want to get some stickers printed up, in the same yellow diamond shape as those BoB atrocities, to stick on offenders' rear windows, reading 'so what', or 'What do you want? A medal for shagging?', but this could be seen as acting in a bitter and twisted manner.

rattling and Lottie, as another first-born, I would like to agree with your assertion that we are in fact fabulously bright and intelligent.

I was behind this woman once, and at every single stop light she would turn around and coo at the baby in the backalways missing the light change. I finally just honked at her, despite the 'baby on boardplease be patient' signage. Don't really understand those signs--is it an excuse to drive like a moron? For feck's sake, pull over if you need to attend to the baby, don't try to do it while driving!

(hoping Sod's law says I will soon be driving like a moron, cooing to a baby in the back)

This thread has really struck a cord with me - I completely understand the OP and all the of the following posts!

We also thought we would have problems conceiving our first DC, as my DH has health issues that could have impacted his fertility. In the end we fell pregnant quite quickly (4 months) but unfortunately I miscarried at 10 weeks.

I wonder now if it is meant to be - I just cannot picture myself with a child and wonder if this will impact our future TTC or any future pregnancies.

After I miscarried, I felt like I had been allowed a glimpse into the motherhood 'club' but was forced leave. I wonder if I will ever get back in...

That Hypnotherapy CD sounds really interesting - am off to google it now!

I am first born. I think first borns probably are far more intelligent - and tell little brother and sister that at every opportunity

Funny how all PFBs are 'very bright'. Not sure how that works on the bell-shaped curve of averages...

Oh I know how you feel OP. I can't ever imagine myself with a baby the the moment. We have been TTC for 17 months. DH has very low sperm count and we have a referal to a specialist. I can't imagine ever being in a position to take part in threads where people talk about their DC's and sometimes I do get down, but so far I have remained pretty positive.

I also worry about being the boasting mother with the precious first baby. I have a couple of friends with DC's and was ROFL at one friend who told me that she massages her DC's feet with lavender oil every night before bed to "stimulate subconcious learning while sleeping" because DC is "very bright". DC is seven months!

yes - i miscaarried and was very dissapointed, more for my Husband - i felt a complete failure that i would never be able to carry his child.

I'm no 5.5 months pregnant, enjoying every minute - this was our first try after the miscarriage.

Good luck.

I know! I probably sound like a right old git, but surely making a child's life so totally centred around them isn't good preparation for when they get older, and the world doesn't in fact revolve around them. Being bored, and working out how to entertain yourself, is a valuable skill...

Having said that, when/if child comes along, I'll probably start a blog about its every nappy.

LL - Roffle! Were you and your friend violently sick?

I was at my nephew's birthday party a few months ago, and the only non-parent there, and was treated like a leper. I know I can't (or, indeed, won't) talk about nappies, schools, the price of nannies, etc, but there does seem to be an unfortunate divide between those who have children and those who don't. I don't want to become like those parents...

I've got a 'Mum to be on board' one somewhere that Volvo sent us for some reason and (of course) never went up... so let me know when you need it!

Its not surprising. I had mc and mp before ds. I found myself at 7mo finding hpt which was out of date - had 30 seconds of complete panic thinking that I couldn't be pregnant after all (despite the obvious contradiction to that together with the kicking). We had to wait 6 yrs for ds. Don't give up. Fingers crossed that everyone on this thread will also find themselves proved wrong and that all end up with lovely dc

Totally. I originally joined mumsnet when I was pregnant again after my miscarriages, on the predecessor to the 'knicker-checker' thread, and everyone was so lovely and supportive that I stayed when I miscarried that one too. I surf around and look at threads where mums talk about their children's behaviour, complain about non-helpful friends or relatives, etc, and just can't ever see myself in that position.

I'm also a little bit scared of becoming the sort who buys a 4x4 with a 'baby on board' sticker in the back, and drones on about how 'gifted' little Jemima is, etc.

When I'm 'practising' with nephews, and other children, I'm always amazed when they do what I ask, or take any notice at all. Have no sense of my own authority over children.

Perhaps I'm not cut out for this at all! Yet still the old ovaries nag away...

Another 'first timers' question - does anyone else feel like a mumsnet fraud? That one day someone will turn around, point at you and say 'why are you here, you aren't a mum'.

As I have already complained elsewhere, I am suddenly feeling quite pessimistic about the chances of ever having my own child. I've deleted my self-obsessed rant, but it helped to write it down anyway and I just wanted to add myself to a thread where I know exactly what everyone is on about.

I can't see myself with a child at all. I can't even imagine myself pregnant (I mean as in with a bump). I do often think it just won't happen for us at all. We have left it too late I think.

I know it's not brilliant, but it's not impossible either. I do realise that I am very young in IVF terms though and we've been given a very optimstic success rate (which will hopefully mean I get pg on the NHS cycle and we can keep the frozen embryos for a DC2, saving us a packet!)

and I met the right man when I was 20 and it still took us until I was 28 to start ttc.

Actually IVF isn't that scary if you just take one step at a time. We're being funded by the NHS for our first attempt and from that we're hoping for some embryos to freeze so the next couple of rounds won't be very expensive (relatively speaking of course ) Don't dismiss it just yet Eleveld