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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

BFP after first failed IVF? What the actual F

268 replies

GoldenRetriever1 · 01/04/2024 09:20

Helloo - husband (38) and I (31) TTC for 2+ years with not a single positive. Laparoscopy diagnosed twisted tubes, stage II Endo and low AMH (8). Both always been healthy, fit, no illnesses etc. So, obviously been feeling very angry with the situation.
Last cycle was our first round of IVF and a fresh transfer (22 eggs, 14 fertilised, 1 grade A embryo put in, with 5 in the freezer)- it failed with no answers. Now, the first cycle after the IVF, I find myself with faint lines at 15DPO, which seems rather late. Ovulated CD19/20 (definitely). I usually have 10/11 day luteal phases and no AF has shown, just spotting. Could these be evap lines?
I’m obviously in total denial because we were told it just probably won’t happen naturally for us. Scared of ectopic as well. Absolutely mind blown. Any words of advice? I don’t know what to think.

BFP after first failed IVF? What the actual F
OP posts:
Maireas · 04/04/2024 14:05

At one point I just went to work and came home. Basic chores, bed.
Then my husband planned something different for each weekend - a different walk, lunch out, an art gallery, an overnight in a nice hotel - something. It helped me through the doldrums.

Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 13:59

@Maireas Yep. And yet everyone else around you is continuing their life happy, easily, normally. I hardly leave the house any longer, stopped my hobbies, skin is terrible. Lost my identity.

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Maireas · 04/04/2024 13:58

It's like an ongoing bereavement and you think there will never be closure..

Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 13:55

@NoWordForFluffy In total agreement there.
I lost my Dad 8 years ago, which was a huge tragedy in our family. And however much I love my Dad and want him back, this grief and sadness cuts so much deeper. Death is all about acceptance. This, I cannot accept.

Thank you - I really hope so.

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NoWordForFluffy · 04/04/2024 13:45

@GoldenRetriever1, I think all things fertility and pregnancy related are just meant to be total head fucks, tbh.

I really hope your bloods show improvement tomorrow. Flowers

Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 12:45

@VerityUnreasonble Yes, I’ve considered this.. but I think I’m just scraping the barrel of hope to be honest! 😂
I do find it bizarre how my progesterone is 46 though. That’s rather high for a “weak” pregnancy development. Who knows what’s going on in there.

Thank you so much for your love and kindness. It means a lot. What will be will be.

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VerityUnreasonble · 04/04/2024 12:42

GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 11:49

Something I have considered is, as I reckon I implanted late (12DPO last Friday).. could this explain my low level of 31 at 6 days after implantation.

Oh shut up, Golden Retriever!

That's not totally unreasonable, the OPKs aren't 100% accurate and I'd have thought especially coming straight off a cycle your hormones might be "interesting " if you DTD day 18, you could have not actually fallen pregnant until a bit later maybe ovulation on 21/22? Which would put the spotting and implantation back a couple of days, would still fit with timing for a BFP I think?

I have continued to keep fingers and toes crossed for tomorrow so you don't need to. Take care of yourself today.

Maireas · 04/04/2024 12:42

I can understand that. I also think that it's addictive. You're in the worst kind of limbo.
So often I see women on this section testing so early and I do think it's a bad idea, although I completely understand it. Sometimes advances in technology haven't been a good thing!

Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 12:30

@Maireas I’m so sorry that you had a difficult experience with your fertility. It’s such a terrible thing to go through - especially when you’re the only one in the circle. (Not that I’d wish this on anyone else - it’s just very unfair and lonely). Pregnancy announcements are terrible.

The internet is 100% why I’m in a frenzy.

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Maireas · 04/04/2024 12:18

My fertility journey was a very painful and distressing 6 years. At times I couldn't bear another pregnancy announcement. I feel for you.
However, this was so long ago that there was no internet, so I couldn't be tempted!
Also, pregnancy tests only gave a result when you'd missed a period, so there wasn't all this early testing, which I would have been tempted to do! So I understand how difficult it is. 🙏

Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 11:49

Something I have considered is, as I reckon I implanted late (12DPO last Friday).. could this explain my low level of 31 at 6 days after implantation.

Oh shut up, Golden Retriever!

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Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 11:44

@maisiedaisy64 P.S. Implantation spotting happened 11/12DPO.. and I’m still spotting a bit.

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Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 11:43

@NoWordForFluffy Thank you for sharing. I’ve seen quite a few charts like this online. Unfortunately, vast majorly of cases I’ve read similar to this (late DPO with low reading) has ended in a chemical or ectopic. Praying for a miraculous turn around.

It’s hard - because I’m also stuck in the middle. A part of me just wants to bleed, so I can move forward. Another part is worried that if I pray for it to stay and persist, it could be an unhealthy pregnancy/baby later on. Damned if I do damned if I don’t. Perhaps just need to be happy with the fact my body finally implanted an embryo.

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Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 11:37

@maisiedaisy64 that is reassuring, although I’m still not getting my hopes up. To be fair, this cycle has been very irregular due to the fact the last cycle was IVF drug induced. However, we only DTD twice (not since) on CDs 16 and 18, with ovulation on CD19 or 20 (OPKs). Yesterday my first blood draw was on CD 36/17DPO (6 days AF late). Faint lines starting on Sunday.

Sorry not sure why I’m writing all this out again 😂 constantly hunting for reassurance!

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Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 11:32

@Maireas It’s such an addiction. Constantly hunting to find women in the same position as me. Ironic how I’d be still blissfully happy if the internet didn’t exist. I’d never know that my level would be so bad.

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Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 11:31

@LividAA Thank you for your words. So pleased to hear that you got your miracle baby.
We were saying all weekend what a miracle this has been.. ignorance is definitely bliss.
I can’t imagine my HCG will be a promising result tomorrow. I’ve got to stay realistic. I think being hopeful at this point will just bring me crashing down even more.

Thanks again. X

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LividAA · 04/04/2024 10:01

Hi.
Just read this thread with my heart in my mouth as I have very much Been There: £25k of IVF, four lost IVF pregnancies, two ectopics of which one put me in intensive care, and one MIRACLE (naturally conceived between all that) 4yo.

I wish there was something useful to say but you know it all and words won't help.

I'm crossing everything that this is your time, but IF it isn't then look after yourself, whatever form that takes. Watch lots of comedies. Take time off work if it helps. Get counselling if you're not already having it. The journey to my baby was the most stressful thing, and i've been through some stressful things. I was terrified the whole pregnancy and still find it hard to relax now.

But stay sane and stay talking. No matter what.

Maireas · 04/04/2024 09:51

Hard to do, easy for me to say - please stay off the internet!
Just try to distract yourself today and keep busy. Come on this thread if it gives you support and help.

Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 04/04/2024 09:41

Thanks everyone. I’m still feeling terrible. Second blood draw is tomorrow, but I don’t feel optimistic after everything I’ve read online.

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maisiedaisy64 · 03/04/2024 23:01

Just to reassure you on your HCG, I had a level of 60 at around the same days as you and I’m now 32 weeks. Fingers crossed!!

mumpenalty · 03/04/2024 22:47

Keeping things crossed for you op. It could well be that you ovulated very late in this cycle as it was the first post ivf…..

NoWordForFluffy · 03/04/2024 21:32

GoldenRetriever1 · 03/04/2024 20:49

@overthestorms 😔 hope is no longer here. Can’t quite believe I’m back here.

I just found your thread in active and remember reading about huge variations in hCg levels in pregnancy.

This is similar to another table I found when I was pregnant.

I really hope everything is OK for you.

BFP after first failed IVF? What the actual F
VerityUnreasonble · 03/04/2024 21:24

GoldenRetriever1 · 03/04/2024 20:49

@overthestorms 😔 hope is no longer here. Can’t quite believe I’m back here.

Thinking of you, I'm not sure if something further has happened but I just wanted to say either way, please be very kind to yourself. The past few days have been a lot whatever the future is.

Original poster
GoldenRetriever1 · 03/04/2024 20:49

@overthestorms 😔 hope is no longer here. Can’t quite believe I’m back here.

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overthestorms · 03/04/2024 19:32

Thanks for clarifying @GoldenRetriever1 I'm really sorry you're going through this. I've had to wait for repeat bloods multiple times and it's torture.
Your hcg levels do seem very low and my experience with those levels was never positive. But, everyone is different so I really hope you get good news on Friday x

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