In the Company of Pregnant Ladies (No1 Babies Detective Agency pt6)

Nomore, please thank your friend for me - it sounds as if she had a textbook delivery. I do really like the idea of a hb, but am super-cautious and the whole idea of what could go wrong still worries me. I am trying to get hold of a secondhand pool though so I think I will feel more decided when I actually have one!

Kensgirl - you can your dh from me that he is a plonker! Honestly, men have no idea how exhausting pregnancy is and he definitely needs to take care of you better. This is my third and I have dh pretty much trained now! He takes care of the other two for most of the weekend and is really good at letting me have naps and lie-ins. He also does the cooking at weekends (although this could be because I am sooo bad at cooking!). He does work long hours though and is often out past the kids bedtime 2/3 times a week so this is the arrangement we find works best.

Well, my MIL has a cot already, it was for dh and bil, she has loaned it out to all and sundry over the years - and apparently it is still going strong. So she has always said (she does not know we are trying, so she is very previous by the way ) that she will sand it back, varnish it and get a new matress when the time comes... so on the same page as you MT ... my Mum on the other hand doesn't have very much room, so I suspect she would visit us. At the moment all of us are living in the same town, so it would be largely irrelevant, but considering how much we move about, who knows what will be the case by the time we have a baby to think about.

Kensgirl tell your dh that he's being an absolute plonker from me. Yes, you being pregnant shouldn't stop him from going out occasionally, but not every other night. And you need to go on strike in terms of doing housework, cooking, cleaning and washing (particularly recommend the latter - he'll soon start worrying if he can't find a clean shirt for work!). You've got to get him to realise that your child is a joint responsibility, and it starts now - he may as well get used to helping out a bit now as he'll have to do a lot more when the baby arrives!

Cots etc - we had a moses basket by the bed, but ds grew out of it by about 3 mo and went into the cot by the bed with the side down. We did find rocking really good when he had colic, so might have found the hammock quite good. In terms of travelling, if you go to parents/pil quite regularly, I really recommend getting them to look for a 2nd hand cot going cheap locally, and get a new mattress for it. Its so much better than a travel cot, and my parents got a little toy that attached to the cot that ds recognised and connected with 'knowing where he was' and was very happy - and they can stay in a cot for longer than a travel cot (size and height) so easier to have a better routine for longer when you travel.

Now when we travel we quite often take the mattress from ds's cot (that he moved out of quite a long time ago now) and put it on the floor against a wall with a bit of padding down the open side so its not hard if he 'falls off' (about 3" so not exactly high!) - he sleeps really well on this and we don't have to worry about needing mattress protectors for other beds, or him falling off a bed - although we do have a travel bed guard which I think we'll probably take on holiday this summer.

Survived the party - we ended up with 8 3yo, 1 5yo, 2 2yo and ds. And, with the weather as it has been, the garden was too wet, so we had to amuse them inside - made pizzas, iced buns, decorated gingerbread men, and did some things with pipe cleaners! Pop up house in the hall was a big hit as well. Absolutely shattered, but I think all of the children enjoyed it!

That is lovely Nomore and just what I mean about having one next to the bed.
Tell your BF thanks for the home birth story - sounds wonderful

Always ignore other's tales of what their babies do and don't do... people lie

I love this, and again, so reasonable

five hours in a row last night! (ignores mums of younger babies who sleep 8 hours plus on their backs and in their cots)

last time he slept five hours in a row we had a horrible time the next night though....

Glad it is going well, Bella

some people say so and I've had two offers of one!(thanks again nomore), but we've ended up co-sleeping with DS on his side and it's going quite well.

Although the hammock-good-for-reflux idea was refuted by my GP and by a reflux expert I contacted so who knows? My cousin absolutely swears by hers and I know that if we could do the last three months again I would get something I could rock DS in (so hammock or curved moses basket stand)

I thought I read that the nest was good for babies with reflux? Bella?

how are all you lovely ladies? I am lurking for news from scorpio....

kensgirl - it's only in the last 15 years that we have been advised to lie babies on their backs, before that it was on their fronts, plus in loads of other cultures it is routine to carry babies everywhere in a sling for however long, but most of our spines seem to be fine!!! I worried about this because we can't ;ie DS on his front, reflux makes it too uncomfortable, until someone pointed out the above.

Where we live right now, if we end up still being here when we have a baby, our bedroom is big enough that we could have the cot next to the bed, so this appeals to me

Ooooh... just when I am about to be moved gently away from a product, in swoops Nomore ... tell me some more

Kensgirl, I am sorry you are feeling so at the moment... my advice, for what it is worth, is to smile sweetly at your mum, nod and then just ignore the bits you are not interested in. I call it filtering, I try, but usually fail to do it with my MIL - but it works well with my own mum.
Good point about the spinal thing with the nest

Scorpio, funnily enough that is what dh said

Love all your cots Gilly... I personally prefer lighter wood, but found the Stokke Sleepi and it comes in walnut as well as light wood Love it.

More reasonably priced and yet I still love it Anyone shocked?

Hurry up, Miliie, you've made your mummy wait long enough..

Aww, Gilly you are a star!!

Can I unload please, girls? I think my dh is being an arse and I could just sit here and have a good cry and a big bar of Cadburys, I'm feeling so sorry for myself. I have had a rubbish week, work are being a bit awkward with me because I had time off for the slapped cheek prevention thing, my mum is being a bit of a baby-know-all, and treating me like a silly kid ("you don't need a changing mat, just do it on your knee with a hand towel..." "don't get any newborn clothes, they are a waste of money, just get the next size as they grow so quick", "What do you need a baby bath for, just use a washing up bowl"[ffs???]" I didn't waste money on maternity lothes, I just wore your dads shirts..." blah blah blah . Dh has been out with his mates 4 times in the last 8 days, spent all day at Twickenham yesterday rolling in steaming at 1am , and has now gonw to watch the football!! I, on the other hand , have also workd full time, done the shopping, cleaned , cooked, washed etc all week, done the shopping, met, fed, watered and entertained dh's Canadian relatives[he is out with them now...} and now i'm tying, without any support from him , to write my application form to beg to work less hours on my return from mat leave. I told dh he wasn't pulling his weight, we had a huge row, I cried, and all he has done is take the empties to the bottle bank. I asked him to make our bed and put his stuff away, which he hasn't and if he thinks he's coming home to dinner on the table I'd rather starve. AAARRGGH!!!

On the good side, bump has been wiggling!

Wow, Gilly hope the clomid and IUI go well, all of you here are at the top of the list of deserving mums to be. Have all good vibes going your way.

Hmm, I looked at the ambi nest too, and couldn't decide what I thought about it, Ready. I decided it needed to be in one room, and that I wanted something more mobile for the first weeks, but what confused me was the advice to lie neworns flat to help their spines, but the Ambi holds them more curved, so...? Tricky one, but I do notice we seem to be drawn to the same products

Hi there nomore [waves]. I still like the bug, and didn't pay anywhere near that, inc some of the extras.

Right, now I feel much more in control of my sanity, I'm off to look at Gillys cots...

money for nothing IMHO

What are people's thoughts on this?

I agree Gilly we should move on from prams... until nearer the time