Am I too old to have another baby at 40?

Why are you even considering this?

As in, why do you want this...?

Because it sounds like you dont really want it (ie there is no burning desire) and there are a list as long as ypur arm as to why you shouldn't/ its a really bad idea.

Totally agree with this. Also a coincidence that he would love to live with you but Mummy won't let him. Is she really that overbearing or is it a convenient excuse to maintain his life exactly how he wants it?

Having a kid at 40... not a problem. Having a kid in your circumstances... absolutely not.

You don’t even live with this man and you’re contemplating a child with him?

you need to be living together for a few years to see if you are actually compatible in a real life situation.

You say he lives with his parents. Has he never moved out, lived alone, had any financial responsibilities, does he having savings?

Is he worried that you're going to move on from him if you embrace this opportunity? Agree with PP, the timing seems a bit convenient.

Look at what you’ve achieved already - you’ve brought up two children on your own and got ready to embark on a really challenging training for an interesting new career. Meanwhile, this bloke hasn’t even moved out of his mum’s house, much less built a life of his own, and now he’s trying to tie you down with talk of a baby (whose upbringing he’s unlikely to contribute to in any meaningful way, let’s be frank)?

Absolutely no way.

Jesus. Do NOT do this. There’s a million reasons not to. And I can’t see a single good reason to do it!
Dump the loser and start enjoying your freedom.

I'm sorry OP, but you barely see him as it is - you'd be bringing up this baby alone, with the occasional visit from 'dad', and giving up on your dreams of becoming a vet? I find it interesting that he wants to tie you down with a baby as you are asserting your independence- I wouldn't consider having a baby with this man child. Really try to envisage how things would look if you went ahead...

I did. She’s 7 now.

It’s not too old, but I’d want to be living with my partner!

It sounds like you're prepared to have a baby for him, not that you really want one. This is all about his whims and not about your circumstances. I'm concentrate on the kiids you have and you exciting new career.

You would be absolutely MAD to do this. And I speak as someone who had her first baby at 42.
Your life is on track. You’re about to do something amazing for
yourself by retraining. Don’t throw it all away on the whim of some idiotic mummy’s boy who will, in all likelihood, leave you to raise this child on your own.

Between that and your age together it’s a no from me. I can think of many scenarios where it could all easily go wrong off the top of my head.

You aren't too old but you should NOT have a baby with this man. Congratulations on getting onto vet training, that is amazing. Enjoy your future veterinary career!

Your age is almost entirely irrelevant here. I had a baby at 41 without any issues and for a lot of people it is possible to conceive and have a healthy baby at that age.
What I would say is that having a baby with someone who lives with his parents, who you’ve been with for 15 years and he’s not properly committed, at the point when you have just embarked on extensive, expensive training for a career change is absolutely madness!!! And you have had kids yourself so have had that experience. Don’t indulge his midlife crisis!

Good God, no! What are you thinking OP.
You’ve got two grown up kids and a man child of a boyfriend, and he is a boyfriend, not a partner, you don't live together, you are second fiddle to his mother, he could have piped up about wanting a chid years ago. Why now? Does he not like your retraining for a new career? Vet medicine is one of the hardest, most stressful professions there is, do you really envisage being able to continue with that with a baby, toddler, primary school aged child in tow? Because he doesn’t sound like he’s the type of chap intending doing the lions share of the child rearing to me…

For you, I’d suggest the daydreaming of another baby is your hormones playing tricks as you near peri/menopause…I had the same late 30’s early 40’s and it was definitely hormones not a real desire for a bigger family.

Hold on a minute- you are about to train to be a vet (congratulations - that is amazing!) and NOW after 15 years he has decided he wants a baby? I think these things are probably related. He is also asking you to put your own and the potential baby’s health at risk because of your epilepsy. Don’t do this. At 55 I still have school age children- of course you can in theory have a baby at 40 but why should you? You’ve done your child rearing, you’re about to embark on a new chapter in your life. His response to this is to try to get you pregnant again. He has had 15 years to marry you and have a baby with you and he has chosen not to. I would be seriously reconsidering this relationship and focusing on your vet training.

What a coincidence that he wasnts to tie you down with a baby when you want to fulfill a dream to become a vet. You will effectively be a single parent. He needs make no sacrifice.

I’ve conceived twice very quickly at 40, first one was a miscarriage (unfortunately there is a higher risk) but I’m currently 12 weeks pregnant, all looking good, and I’ll turn 41 next month. It’s definitely a possibility, but the question is if it is what you really want.

He's a walking red flag!

He also still lives with his parents I live with my grown up kids. We have never lived together

Forget your age, based on this alone it's a terrible idea.

He’s 39, lives with an overbearing mother, you rarely see him & in 15 years he’s never tried to create a family unit with you & your kids.
Now at 40, when you are getting your life & freedom back to pursue your dreams he wants you to give all that up to have a baby ‘for’ him but he’ll still live with his mum & go about his current life.

The question shouldn’t be are you too old to have a baby, but why the fuck would you want to with a 39 year old man baby waster who’ll leave you as a single parent.

Hell no.

I had a baby at 42. But in your circumstances? I repeat, hell no.

I'm getting red flags, he's 39 and you've been dating 15 years? Why has it taken him so long to want to settle down and start a family with you? Obviously you know what a commitment another child would be, do you really want to be responsible for another one until you're almost 60? Don't you want some of your adult years to be about doing things for yourself?