TTC May 2023 💝 Previous MC March 2023 (thread 4)

@Sez281 have a lovely holiday!! Tiny bit jealous, I need some sun, haha. I'm cd 5 hopefully just a 7 day af for me then get cracking with the ovulation sticks again haha xx

@Hankthehonk lovely to hear from you. Wow 12 weeks already. How's things been juggling two? Xx

I'm so jealous @Sez281 the weather here is so crap. I'm desperate to book a little Spain getaway but trying to work out how much leave I take this year or do I bank it and add on to mat leave. Plus we have a house to finish so maybe a holiday isn't so wise 🤣 I'm on a little 3 day break from work now...spent the day yesterday sorting the garden...today we're tiling the kitchen and tomorrow I need to try and add some rails to the wall in the dining room as I had the great idea of doing raised skirting 🙈💤 so it's not really a break tbh 🤣

@Hankthehonk thank you 💓 can't believe Rory is 12 weeks already!

@SnookyPook ahh I love Morocco, I hope he's left you lots of cash for treats if your being left behind 🤣 your nursery info has given me anxiety 🤣 there's two nurseries a stone throw away from me which would be first choice and now I'm worried I won't even get them lol although my friend recently put her son in one and I'm sure it was available quite soon so maybe its certain areas. I might start enquiring.

@xxcxdonxx hope your okay ❤️

Hope everyone else is good @Jadeypie @Paws4thought @Supertrooper101 @jt130593

@Hankthehonk lovely to hear from you! Oh wow 12wks! 🥰

@Sez281 love you're already playing the next hol 😂 Make the most of it! Meanwhile, I'm stuck here and Hubby is off to Morocco for 10 days next week on a Wilderness Medicine expedition!!

@Sez281 I'm just waiting for fertile week to begin, got the blood tests booked for Wed and just passed when my first pregnancy was due, I don't feel terrible about it which I guess is good. Hope you have a lovely holiday 😀

Thanks @Hankthehonk , I know, it’s awful and really unfair.
Can’t believe your little one is 12 weeks already!

Oh @Sez281 that sounds dreamy. On holiday and looking at another holiday, that’s a win!!

Hey everyone - I've not been on mumsnet at all in a couple of weeks, with the nicer weather and wee man getting bigger I've not been online much at all which I guess can only be a good thing?!
Had over 100 unread posts on here so I have just skimmed through but @xxcxdonxx I'm so so sorry you're going through this again. It's not bloody fair.

So pleased to see things are progressing well for @SnookyPook @Sez281 @Westy22 @Supertrooper101... I haven't missed anyone have I? So busy on here!

@jt130593 welcome and sorry for your loss that must have been so hard.
I'm 35, have a 3yo daughter and had a miscarriage in March 23 like many of the ladies here. I was lucky to fall pregnant again on my second cycle after the loss, about 11 weeks later. That was a healthy pregnancy and my son is 12 weeks old now, which is hard to believe, time is going so fast. Wishing you all the luck in the world with ttc

Have an amazing holiday @Sez281 . I thought we were finally getting a glimmer of spring/summer this week but no, it’s back to rain!
Enjoy all of that glorious sunshine!

@Supertrooper101 we'll be able to make it work thankfully but I know not everyone would be so lucky!

Ooh @Sez281 have a fantastic holiday! 🥰😄

@SnookyPook ive seen that alot online about 2yr waiting list so not suprised at all. Are you not able to chage to part time cor the allocated nursery hours you have so far?
@jt130593 like jadey says, you never know 🙂
@Sez281 is it today you fly out? How did the monitor results go?

@jt130593 don't count yourself out just yet! There's still a week to go and af hasn't showed up yet. I get it's so frustrating and trust me I wish we got symptoms that was a sure sign for either but pregnancy symptoms and af symptoms are identical so could go either way. Be great if orange nipples meant pregnancy because we wouldn't need to guess at all then hahahaha xx

Well I think I’m out this month!

AF is due around 09th/10th but today I’ve had the type of headache I normally get the day before my period and some mild cramps. Seems to be a bit early given my periods still a week away but maybe just my hormones aren’t back to normal after my TFMR.

Oh well, onto the next month!

@SnookyPook wow that's crazy. I didn't even put my son in till he was 2 and he got a place straight away. Suppose with funding being available from a younger age ect then no wonder it's gone like that. I crnt believe I'll be putting in his forms for actual school this September it makes me feel sad haha.

It's mad they are full till 2027!! I crnt get my head around it ahha xx

Afternoon guys! Bit of a different post... Just sharing in case it's helpful for those of you who are pregnant and wanting to return to work after Mat Leave... So, because I already have a 3yr old DS who is at nursery, they've obviously seen bump and basically told me that nursery places are like goldust at the mo and to pay my deposit for this baby asap as places are filling up fast. This seems absolute madness to me as I'm sure with my son I didn't enquire until he'd been born!! Although he was Lockdown cohort so maybe things were very different 3 years ago.

I know you're all still slightly behind me in your pregnancies and this might seem a mad thing to think about when still a bit anxious etc.. but I do recommend checking out your local options and if there is one you particularly like the look of, don't waste time speaking to them! To give an idea, our nursery have only been able to offer me:

Full day Tuesday, Weds/Fri pm for August 2025 start!! They currently have no 5 full day places until Sept 2027!!!!

I've paid the deposit to lock that in and am hopeful some additional hours may come up for which I'm now on a waiting list... Hopefully particularly as they know us...?! But, yeah... Don't just assume that places will be there when you need them. I think with changes to funding etc the demand on places has shot up massively! Not sure if this is likely to affect Ireland?! But, take this as your friendly alert!!

Hope everyone is doing ok. Xx

@jt130593 you will notice all kinds in the tww that you've never noticed before haha will question every little twinge, feelings, smell and you'll prob prod your boobs all the time aswell x

I know it is far too early to have any kind of symptoms (I’m only 4 or 5 dpo) but the last two days I absolutely cannot stop weeing 🙈 To the point where I’ve actually been to the doctors today to get tested for a water infection! I’m waking up multiple times in the night for the toilet and then not being able to get back to sleep
Trying my best not to read into things but it’s so hard isn’t it!
Never noticed this at this stage of my cycle before but then maybe this is just a new thing for me after the TFMR 🤷‍♀️

@xxcxdonxx yeh that's true. People always say to me 'oh your the strongest person I know' I'm actually not I do cry I do have mini breaks downs but I just no what works for me to be able to just get on with things.

Seriously we are all due some vitimin D hahaha I've never really been one for the hot sun but as I'm getting older I crave it! Roll on summer smell of fresh grass and washing on the line ahhahaha xx

@SnookyPook I’ll definitely ask about that. I’m sure my work offer some kind of support service too so I’ll need to look into that.

No I hadn’t told anyone I was pregnant. They have been great last year with giving time off etc so I know it wouldn’t be any different this time round. I just didn’t want to tell them until I really had to. Part of me feels guilty about the time off, I know how irrational that is though.

That’s so true @Jadeypie , I think that this time as I was almost assuming it would end this way has helped me prepare for it. So at least it doesn’t feel like such a shock this time.

I am so ready to feel the sun on my face! I’m so fed up with how cold it has been.

@Westy22 what a beautiful scan! Actually made me laugh how chilled and spread out they are hahahha. Im voting boy too! We didn't find out with my son was a lovely surprise!! Xx

@xxcxdonxx it's awful what you have had to go through, I really hope you can get some support which could really help. I find rationalising what's happened or happening that kills me emotionally a.d mentally helps me cope xx

@xxcxdonxx yes do ask. I asked if there was any support after my last loss as I was struggling and they referred me to the bereavement midwife. Like @jt130593 mine was fantastic. I had a session with her where I just talked through my losses and basically cried for an hour and she was so lovely and affirming. She also offered to refer me to a clinical psychologist for more in-depth support and I was on a waiting list for that when I fell pregnant again. It also meant that she then supported me through the early days of this new pregnancy. Should you fall pregnant again it is nice to have that extra support.

Aw yes that makes sense, especially if you were both 1 of 3. I can see why you'd feel that pull. I guess there is no need to make any finite decisions - especially in the midst of current grief. Focus on healing a bit and maybe just see how things evolve going forwards. You don't have to torment yourself with decisions right now.

Did work already know you were pregnant? They should actually cancel your leave and note this as pregnancy related absence. Pregnancy related issues are their own separate category and don't fall under sick leave. I must have had over a month off in total last year from my losses and my boss insisted on returning a couple of AL days that had fallen during one for the MCs.

Hope everyone else is ok this evening. I took the dog on a walk earlier and it was actually warm! So lovely to feel the sun!! Really hope we get a bit of good weather for a bit now.

@xxcxdonxx if you are wanting some support, maybe try and push to get a bereavement midwife. I’m not sure exactly what the criteria is to be able to have one, but it’s definitely worth an ask!
Mine has been absolutely brilliant

Thanks @SnookyPook it’s definitely taken its toll. I’ve not been offered anything and didn’t actually know there was any kind of service. Maybe next week I’ll be put in touch with someone.

Myself and dh are both one of three and I always liked the idea of that little gang. When it actually came round to it I was really on the fence as our hands are full with two so it did take us a while to decide. So it’s all these thoughts of what would have happened if we tried earlier swirling through my mind when in reality it might not have made any difference whatsoever. As much as I think we might need to, it’s a difficult one to let go of as we had a plan and I wanted to see it through.

I’m actually off work this week on AL just as pure coincidence so I’ve not had to speak to anyone in work but I’ll need to next week which I’m not looking forward to.

My scan was scheduled for Monday but it’s the bank holiday so they’ve moved it to the Tuesday instead xx

@xxcxdonxx that's so sweet of you to say. It's been interesting reading everyone's back stories again and I must say, I hadn't realised that this would potentially be loss no.5 for you since Dec '22. That's an awful lot to go through. Have they offered you any additional support/bereavement midwife etc?

I'm so glad for you that you've got two healthy children but it doesn't take away that pain of feeling like your family isn't complete does it. And the repeated pain of getting your hopes up and then having to grieve again. It's exhausting. I hope you've got some great support around you. Hubby and I always liked the idea of a third when musing about the future but with everything that's happened now I really don't know if I have the mental capacity to go through TTC again at any point! I just want to focus on getting this one here safely and enjoying the family we've got I think. I can definitely see why at a certain point you would just want to draw a line under it all. Sending you big hugs. Are you at work this week? Hope you're doing ok. Will the next scan be next Monday? Xx