CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

Hi ladies, just after some advice really. I'm really struggling seeing my two friends who are pregnant, I think part of it is because I got pregnant first and I think they therefore got the ball rolling their end! I know they weren't trying before then.

They both now have bumps and when I see them at nursery my stomach actually falls into a pit and I dread it. I just can't seem to separate their pregnancies from my journey, they're a walking visual reminder of my miscarriages - each one is close to one of my due dates. I feel awful about it and like I'm clearly not strong enough to just deal with the emotions

Any advice or tips? Doesn't help I'm on a pause so I don't even feel close to being pregnant again

@Ladyinpink1 AF is due next Wednesday, I’ll probably test Thursday if no sign. I was about to write ‘I’m not very hopeful’ but that’s a lie, I am really hopeful but I also know that I feel like I’m in the dark a bit because of the CB ovulation test saga. So we’ll see!

@Ladyinpink1 CD17 for me today. CM keeps changing? Though I feel like it’s drier this morning (TMI, sorry) so assume I’m passed the fertile window. Sorry you’re ill, there are so many bugs around at the moment. Great work on the pineapple! Will you test, or wait for AF? When is your AF due?

@samilicious we decided not to - and we won't have a go when March's cycle starts (late next week). To be honest the wait has been hell and I kind of wish we had cracked on but we are where we are 🤷🏻

😂 I’m so glad you’ve got some movement in your tests, and that properly made me laugh. It beats my experience of chatting with my GP about my blood tests half way up a chair lift whilst skiing! You’re right, GPs have terrible timing.

Maybe you could turn all of this - the pineapples, giant menstrual cups, sperm test Nando’s, sifting through copious amounts of seeds into a book/script? The real TTC diaries is the book/play/film I never knew I needed. I would buy it!

I’m feeling brighter but no idea what’s going on with this cycle. Continuing to dtd every other day and hoping for the best, even though I’ve binned the CB tests and my CM is telling a different story every hour of the day. Who knows.

@HerbaceousPerennial the control freak in me finds your thinking (and acceptance of lack of control) soothing. I think it’s very sensible to be taking such a measured approach (and of course have everything crossed for you)

@ThelastRolo20 same for me ♥️ glad you liked it. What did you decide btw?!

Oh yeah, I'm sure she came over because it looked like we were having a spicy row, shock she got 😂

@HerbaceousPerennial yeah feel good about it! Had an ultrasound a while back which showed no scarring and normal uterine conditions. Made me realise at the time I had the test the woman just gave be a thumbs up and said crack on 😂 said my gp would be in touch, but I rang and they just said 'all normal' so good to have detail there. That's such a good way to think, you're always so level headed about stuff. It's a great way to be 🥰

@CluelessInLondon maybe I could write for like Take A Break or something 🤪 almost another week down until your next scan!

Btw everyone - the new Dune film should come with a massive bloody trigger warning because there are endless shots of a bloody foetus in it at various stages. Great film but so unnecessary!

@samilicious I do love your stories, you have such a way with words! 😂 It's good that you're getting the tests under way too, I hope things progress a bit quicker now and you start getting some answers.

@samilicious 😂😂😂 you’re going to be on one of those threads ‘overheard in Nando’s’… I swear doctors have a sixth sense for this sort of thing. Glad they got hold of you though and tests are getting going. How are you feeling about it?

I’m doing ok thanks, focusing on one day at a time and trying not to freak myself out. It’s kind of comforting knowing that whatever happens, it’s already been decided, I’m just waiting to find out 🤷🏻‍♀️

@samilicious that's hilarious 😂 you know that waitress couldn't wait to tell her friends!

Thank you for the post yesterday ❤️ even with a living child there was a sadness to it thinking of what should have been on that day x

Hey ladies, sorry me spamming up your feeds again. Hope we're all ok after yesterday.

Finally got the call from my gp after waiting 3 weeks... in Nando's. At 6pm.

I took the call in the car, then brought the phone in for DH to arrange his tests and he was fuming that I wanted him to talk about sperm in public with the Nando's music blaring 😂 the food had been there 10 mins at this point and we were in a hurry 😅 glad to be down for tests though.

lively Nando's music playing "HELLO YES PUT ME DOWN FOR THE SPERM TEST, DO I GET A LITTLE POT TO TAKE HOME OR DO I DO IT THERE??" lady comes to take wooden chicken on a stick away

Happy Mother's Day! I see a mum no matter where you are in your journeys xxx

@Wise0wl that's right, good memory! Abandoned the Disney plan now as we're getting the garden landscaped and it's costing a small fortune. Another reason to pray for a good summer

@moosey89 oh moosey your post 💔 I'm so sorry your journey had been so long and you've got someone who's had getting pregnant so easy right there to make it all the more raw. Counsellor sounds like a great idea. What are you planning for next few months to get your life back?

@ThelastRolo20 I had this and didn't as we were waiting to ttc and I think about it all the time now and wish we'd tried that month 😅 I get wanting to wait though!

@Bugdem123 this time of year is extra brutal for ttc, I thought Xmas was bad! Maybe this is where we need to focus our support efforts, I need to take the same tack. I want to focus on being the best inside and out so whatever comes my way fertility/loss/giving up/baby I'm ready for it after living life to the max but treating my body like a temple

@HerbaceousPerennial how are you doing? Worrying still or managing to distract? Glad I'm not the only cup bucket owner (mine fits too 😂)

@emmatcc1 welcome!

@Ladyinpink1 sorry it's been so heavy, been thinking about you. Sounds like a great mix for a good time!

My first af after mc is very light. No cramps and no clots and took a whole day yesterday to get from brown spotting to red blood. I thought it was gonna be heavier than usual.

Happy Mother’s Day to you lovely lot. I don’t have any words of wisdom really, but you are all mothers, we see each other here even if others in real life don’t, and I hope we all get our sticky beans soon ♥️

Hi ladies! Still waiting on ovulation or even my period since I had my surgery for MMC over 4 weeks ago 😫 just wish something was happening, it's so frustrating. It's making me think so negatively about being able to conceive again.

Haha @Ladyinpink1 that is a lot of info but all the info that I was looking for! Like you I’ve had less CM generally (since my last MVA) and so it’s interesting that it’s helped with that. Fingers crossed for you! Cheers - hope your port and pineapple has been enjoyable!

@Ladyinpink1 well my period in April is due 19th which is the day we fly on holiday typically! So my fertile window will be first week of May so technically two months away still 😂 but time wise I'm focusing on when my cycle is starting rather than fertile week

@Ladyinpink1 I’m pinning lots of hope to your wine research being correct this month! Had a glass last night and am having one this evening, but am generally drinking very little. Last month I ovulated CD17 and had a 20 day cycle; this month my old reader (ie the one I’d used before) gave me a peak on CD9, my new reader gave me low fertility for five days so I binned it 😂 we’ve dtd CD8, 10, 11, 12 and will aim for tonight (CD14). I think it’s starting to take the fun/spontaneity out of dtd as well tbh!

How was the pre seed? Did it feel very slimy?

@ThelastRolo20 thank you ♥️

@Wise0wl sometimes that's the best thing to do. Enjoy the takeaway and hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow

@Ladyinpink1 I did manage to avoid fertile window 😂 it was tough going April's cycle now doesn't feel toooo far away

@Ladyinpink1 well done for getting through it. How are you feeling about your fertile window this weekend?

welcome @emmatcc1 I’m so sorry for your loss.

@GoldDustWoman90 well done for finding us, and glad you’ve got your LH peak!

I’m CD14 and feeling really low, thrown the CB ovulation tests in the bin and I’ve got no idea if I have ovulated or if I will ovulate. I feel like a bfp is a very distant hope! Going to settle down later with a takeaway and a glass of wine and hopefully feel a bit better. Hope you’re all doing ok x

Hi ladies! Glad I found you again - just realised the last thread was full!

Lots to catch up on so will read through now and respond properly to everyone later :)

Me - CD15 and FINALLY got my LH peak on my lunchtime test, so all set to dtd every day the next three days. Last month was a BFN but then we only dtd twice the whole month, and my peak was at a really weird time of day so I must have missed it!