CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

@samilicious irregular cycles but not PCOS, still no answer why though! So going to go back to running 3 or 4 times a week because it's been far too long and nothing changes. I really hope it is just my body getting back to normal but I do worry about my decision to get surgery. I had retained tissue but wonder what would have happened if I waited for my period. So many ifs and buts! Good that you're doing well with running!

@ThelastRolo20 well done to you too!

@UrsulaSings123 it's really hard isn't it. My original due date is a week away and it's bringing up the emotions and grief again. I just feel so far behind where I want to be and every month that goes by my hope fades a little more.

It was hard to say how long it took first time round as we weren't really trying for a while. I wasn't feeling particularly ready (funny to reflect on now) and so wasn't tracking anything/mostly avoiding fertile window.

My periods then stopped for a few months (think due to both physical and mental stress) and I was under investigation with the GP. At this point I started tracking and fell pregnant before my follow up with the GP. I ovulated around CD100 😂but unfortunately ended MMC which completely broke me but I realised how much I wanted to become a parent. So quite an odd story and it's why I always feel there's something wrong with me!

How long have you been trying? Sounds like a good idea to give it a few more months and then speak to a GP. Luckily mine has done quite a few tests already and everything seems normal but she said if I don't conceive in another couple of months to book another appointment.

I know what you mean with DTD getting exhausting! My cycles are irregular but mostly on the longer side and I get a few bouts of EWCM before ovulating. We tend to do every 3 days and then move to every other until it gets close!

Just because this thread can (quite obviously) focus on when things aren't going quite right for us I thought I'd share some more positive vibes! I picked up my running again only 4 weeks ago and since then have taken 4 mins off my 5km time and did it today in 27.5 minutes 💪🏻

Anyone else want to share something nice from this weekend? X

@samilicious well done on all the work outs! Great effort 💪🏻

He's called Rolo - hence my username 😂

@UrsulaSings123 yaaaas on the sugar refusal! I have been scoffing everything the last 24 hours 😂 I've got these little packets of choc rice cakes from M&S which are a great choc replacement. And going to make some trail mix with extra dark choc hoping the nuts will help thicken my lining after my surgical management 😅 on the same wavelength as @13lucy - if I can exercise tomorrow as well that's 2 weeks of 4 workouts a week, a huge record for me! Feel like exercising increasing blood flow will help build it up too

@ThelastRolo20 aww my first dog love was a jack Russell called Tilly! Sounds weird haha, she was my mum's friend's dog, and her cuteness finally pushed my mum over the line to get us one. What's your dog called? My husband plays in a band so went to see them 😊

@13lucy lovely to see your name pop up! Perfectly normal to feel crap about that stuff. Especially as there seemed a big glut of BFPs all at once, IRL & MN. Glad your test went ok and good idea about running. I've been doing HIIT which I used to hate but love lately with the same logic on not getting preg anyway! I know things are a bit different with you (are you a PCOSer or have I got that mixed up?) but coming away from temping and testing has been a game changer for me, highly recommend. It's so common in surgical management to have lighter flow/shorter cycles after, I don't think it's a "you" thing, I think it's just a recovery from that - the stats that say things are fine immediately after are 100% bullsh*t because everyone I know who's had it is struggling with the same stuff, me included. I think it's good to focus on doing things to thicken it yourself - luckily there's a lot online about it because people have to do it for IVF

@Ladyinpink1 I always think of you and the crazy dreams when I have them! I'm not holding out hope 😅 feel superstitious about it, like if I think I am or test early it will curse me that cycle because I've never tested early and had a BFP. That does sound confusing! I've been DTD when I feel like it, try and do it once or twice a few days after AF ended and when I feel like I get more CM / feel a bit more fertile. Doing it that much is v intense! I get you don't want to miss ovulation but I feel like DTD too much reduces sperm quality / volume so going every day can be counterproductive. I've only ever got a BFP when DTD a couple of times that month and felt really good in myself / healthy without being neurotic about dieting etc. Though less is more isn't working great for me either 😂

Mind you, still feel like I could be healthier in eating/lifestyle habits. Im trying to get my step count up, used to be around 12k a day before I had DD but now I'm lucky if I get 5k steps. And need to stop working so much OT and relax more, start journaling regularly and reading more

@Ladyinpink1 it really is exhausting doing it every day isn't it! We used to DTD every day when we were first together and actually when I was pregnant the first time (was also during covid so not a lot to do 😂) but sooo can't be arsed with that now 😂 did you end up doing an OPK or not?

@samilicious I've managed to detox a bit from the sugar! I even turned down cake yesterday which is unheard of 😂i know what you mean about finding time, it's too easy to neglect the things that are ultimately probably more helpful than the other things I do with my time (like mindlessly scrolling on Instagram for one!). Its so annoying symptom spotting isn't it, you just can't help but notice if you feel something different. I hope it turns into something for you! Will you be testing at some point?

@13lucy sorry to hear you're feeling so rubbish. I've found positive pregnancy news very difficult as well. When I go on mumsnet at the moment I tend to only come here and look at the miscarriage forum as I can't even handle looking at the excited TTC threads at the moment. How long did it take you to conceive the first time? I've seen a lot of people say it took about the same time again as the first time which doesn't fit in with that whole "you're more fertile in the first few weeks" thing that you always hear that fills you with hope. Its so difficult thinking you've done everything possible and put in a tonne of effort to DTD even when you don't really feel like it, just for it to amount to nothing again. I've also been wondering about going to GP/getting tests for fertility, but am worried it wouldn't be good news and I'd totally lose hope. I'm so torn at the moment. Might leave it another few months and then go along. We wouldn't be able to afford IVF so au naturale is the only way for us.

I'm just going in to my fertile week this week and going to try SMEP. Finding it hard to time when to start DTD every other day because last month I ovulated so early but that's not normal for me. So don't want to start too early and get worn out, but also don't want to leave it too late 😂

@Ladyinpink1 good that you're feeling more relaxed this cycle. I felt a bit like that when I noticed I didn't know what CD I was on at my ultrasound! I think @moosey89 you said similar? Then cut to being in tears last night because I care so much 😂

Sometimes I get EWCM after ovulation which my FF app doesn't like! Sounds worth doing another OPK. Are you doing BBT this cycle? Hopefully you're there or there abouts so you can have a rest!

@ThelastRolo20 thank you - I feel really bad as usual/balanced me would be totally different. I think it just amplifiers my feelings of loss and that someone is wrong with me. Had a bit of a breakdown last night as it's all getting too much!

@Ladyinpink1 it's so tough isn't it, no matter how much you want it, it doesn't happen! Starting to feel left behind and giving up hope on it all.

I haven't actually started running yet as was waiting out the 2WW and now don't fancy running on my period. I'll get back into it next week.

I read my ultrasound results yesterday and my uterine lining was 6.9mm which I think is quite thin for a few days before my period? The GP has marked it all as satisfactory but I feel anxious about it. I looked back to my ultrasounds when I had retained tissue after the miscarriage and the lining was 12mm.

Has anyone had a private consultation just for some reassurance? I'm not even sure where to start or whether to get another GP appointment to discuss. Is it worth getting AMH test or will it cause more anxiety if it's low?

@13lucy we have had a lot of positives come up recently which can be hard to handle, everyone understands and a break can be really helpful.

I know what you mean about why isn't it working! I've picked up running too - I had two MMCs when I didn't exercise as much, so may as well do it again 😂

Hi everyone - hope you're all doing ok? I took a bit of a break as was finding it all a bit overwhelming, particularly with lots of pregnancy news both online and in real life! I feel really bad for struggling with it but I'm hurting a lot inside and have been feeling delicate.

My temperature dropped overnight and I could really feel my hormones change which I find triggering from the miscarriage. As a result I had a terrible sleep and lots of sadness and racing thoughts. I'm starting to wonder if this will ever happen for us and regretting waiting longer before starting to try which I know isn't helpful!

I'm now onto my fifth cycle post miscarriage and I really thought I would be pregnant again by now - it baffles me how you can time everything, DTD so many times and still nothing!

The good news is that my ultrasound went ok, but I'm still paranoid that something is wrong and wondering how long I should wait before paying to see a specialist.

Going to get back into running much more this cycle, as if I'm not getting pregnant without running, I may as well run again! 🙃

@samilicious fingers crossed those are all good signs! What gig are you going to?

I have a neurotic jack Russell cross 😂

Ugh seriously f**k symptom spotting.

Checked my CD and AF isn't due for another week, but got EXTREME PMS, been having weird dreams and can't bear the thought of a drink at the gig I'm going to later 🫠

@moosey89 if you ever visit Asia, Japan is the best! The culture is fascinating (old and new) plus the people put all other nations' manners and hospitality to shame. Took a 6 week sabbatical in 2019 with a friend, highly recommend if possible at any point. A lot of people doing it now with kids but not sure I could.

@ThelastRolo20 haha! Yeah not ideal. What dog do you have?

@UrsulaSings123 I deffo need to cut down on sugar too, it's my biggest vice. Consume it in crazy quantities. Can we support each other weaning off it 😂 Thank you for the positivity about journaling and therapy too! Just need to make time to journal now. Yes going to Turkey to a nice 5* place we've been to a few times, pretty reasonably priced and well know where everything is 😂 are you going away again any time soon? I'm a home bird too! Taurus through n through. I fear my lining never recovered but had scans since to say it all looks normal. Bloody surgical management. Either they leave a load behind or practically scoop your brains out

@Ladyinpink1 maybe DH being off will do the trick this time and being more relaxed! Thank you ♥️ oh yes, painting the step today 😂

@jellyfish2 My normal period only usually lasts a few days with spotting for a day after, so I'd say this one was less than half the length it usually is. It was more like dark red/brown, there was no bright red blood like there usually is for me. My friend said her period was similar after and she assumed it was because they'd removed the lining there was nothing much to come out. Hopefully this cycle will let the lining build up again.

@UrsulaSings123 mine was about 2 and a half days and it was noticeably lighter too but at times a bright red/pink colour. Was yours similar? I think it is normal from what I've read.

Well my 'period' lasted a day and a half! I've been reading online that's not unusual after surgical management so I'm hoping it's all normal. Really hope my cycle is more normal this month. I have no idea when I'll ovulate as usually its day 15 but was day 13 last cycle. Had no cm last month either which I normally get leading up to ovulation. I'm CD3 now so just on my bike doing some exercise and trying to have lower sugar in my diet. Also started taking the coq10 but I know that doesn't take effect for a few months.

I'm such a home bird, even in paris I felt out my comfort zone! 😂i like to see different parts of the world, but hate not being able to understand what people are saying to me.

@samilicious oh my goodness 3rd redundancy that must be hard for you both. Job searching is horrrrible. I hope he finds something quickly. Have you got a holiday planned? I had 3.5 years of therapy and it was amazing I loved being able to understand myself better. Those introspective skills you learn in therapy stay with you so I don't see why journalling can't have the same sort of effect.

@ThelastRolo20 oh wow! That sounds amazing. That's the length of time I'd like to do 😁 travel is amazing, I love seeing different cultures and eating different foods etc.

@moosey89 me and my other half did 3 months round Asia 6 years ago now - loved it!

@samilicious I've always done it in the evenings and always worked for me so I'll continue that way! Like you say mornings are difficult, especially as I have my daughter and dog in the bed 😂

@Ladyinpink1 I'm taking it as a good sign that I had to check my app to figure it out! Less obsessive this month 🤣 I'm on day 7 now, so next week is fertile week.

If I hear of any jobs I'll let you know! Lol it is a great distraction and I do enjoy travelling. I would love to visit Asia, I've never been and have a long list of countries I'd like to see - just need to win the lottery 😂

@Ladyinpink1 I feel like if I stop being positive I'll just go in a hole I'll never be able to get out of 😅 that's what happened last time I TTC and it wasn't happening. Had to have time off work and loads of therapy but then conceived. Trying to recreate that this time with holidays and journaling as work doesn't pay sick pay (more that statutory) and my amazing therapist takes her granddaughter to the same dance class as my daughter 😩 so not sure I'd be able to go back to her and took me so long to find a good one. Your break sounded lovely. Have you got any other nice plans next few months? Noo new job for DH - he's on his 3rd redundancy now pottering around the house driving me mad. Are you jumping on DH? That's good that there's lots! Do you usually get lots?

@ThelastRolo20 random q, but what time of day do you usually DTD? My mate swears by doing it in the morning! Tried for months then first time in the morning and she caught. Tricky with work and LOs around though