CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #3

Well I just did a preg test at 7dpo at 3pm in the afternoon🙄at least I managed to wait another day this time 😂wasn't planning on doing one until tomorrow morning, but even that is totally pointless really as it's only 8dpo. Ah well, the excitement/anxiety at the possibility just drags me in!

@purplecolouroffunk I was pregnant at the same time as my step sister, although she was right near the end of her pregnancy, so I get how you feel. I find it so hard seeing people who are pregnant. I was counting how many weeks I 'should' have been for a few weeks after my mc and I totally understand the 'square one' feeling. Although I used to think I was worse off than square one because now it's a few months later with a loss. Not a bad idea to let yourself heal a bit, physically and psychologically.

@purplecolouroffunk Yes, day 1 of your new cycle is the day of the surgery. Everyone is different, but my experience was - negative pregnancy test 3 weeks after the surgery, LH peak came the day after that and period arrived 2 weeks after the LH peak, so a 5 week cycle in total. After that, my cycle went back to the normal 29-30 days it was before the MC, but it can take a bit of time for everything to reset so don't worry too much if it's not the same as before straight away.

The anger and the frustration at the time lost with nothing to show for it is totally natural and understandable - so much of what you posted above reminds me of the things I was posting on the support thread on the miscarriage forum 6 months ago. It's easy for me to say now because I've been fortunate to conceive again since then, but over time it will get easier - it never stops being unfair, but it will hurt less, and less frequently. And when it does hurt, let it hurt. My original due date was Monday this week and even with the hopes of another pregnancy progressing well so far, I still had a good cry.

Thanks so much everyone. Feel less alone being in a group like this. My partner is incredibly supportive and with me every step of the way. But there’s still a feeling of loneliness not knowing anyone that’s been through this.

In terms of tracking, would I count my D&C day as CD1?

I’m feeling quite empty and a bit numb today, so I think waiting for a period to pass is probably the right thing to do.

I can’t help have this feeling of wasted time. I would have been 8 weeks now and I just can’t stop thinking about how I’m back at square one. I know in the grand scheme of things that a few more months doesn’t make a difference but it’s making me feel anger or something.

My best friend is currently 16 weeks pregnant. I haven’t seen her yet and I’m a bit worried about how I’ll feel when I do. Of course I’m so happy for her, but it’s a bit of a reminder of what we lost. I would have been 8 weeks behind her and I was so excited about that.

@Ladyinpink1 I'm doing well thank you - in a bit of a weird place at the moment as my dating scan feels like it was ages ago and it still feels like a long time to go until my anomaly scan (it's only 3 weeks but time is weird during TTC and pregnancy, isn't it?!) so it's hard not to sink into worrying about what could have gone wrong since the last scan and whether baby is doing okay. I've got a little bit of a bump popping up, but I think at the moment it's probably mostly all the extra carbs I've been eating. 😂

@purplecolouroffunk The other piece of advice I was given about waiting a cycle after my MC (other than the dating thing) was that having a period is your body's way of flushing out all of the old lining and giving you a completely fresh new one to work with next time. I waited a cycle before starting to try again after my MC in September - I think I actually needed those few weeks to try and come to terms with what had happened, and I didn't really feel like my emotions and hormones rebalanced until after I'd had a period. Obviously it's totally personal choice and there is no harm in trying again straight away, but for me waiting a cycle definitely helped on the psychological side. I'm so sorry for your loss, but you are in safe hands with this amazing group of ladies - everyone 'gets it' and it makes such a difference when TTC after miscarriage can feel lonely sometimes. ❤

@ThelastRolo20 have a wonderful holiday!

@Ladyinpink1 I'm day 23, so 9dpo. How about you? I've got a nice busy week to keep me occupied, friends round for board games tonight and then into London tomorrow to work on the Marathon which is one of my favourite events to work at! Then seeing Russell Howard on Tuesday ☺️

@ThelastRolo20 have a great holiday! 🥰

Got my latest hospital appointment letter through, another internal ultrasound early May (last one I had was private, this is NHS as part of the fertility clinic referral). Interested to see if I get the all clear on that one, last one I had my right ovary was partially obscured, most likely due to scar tissue from a previous abdominal surgery.

This month is a wierd one - I feel both optimistic but also like it's not my month. Can't really explain it. Might be because the medical appointments make it feel like something is happening at least.

Thank you everyone 🥰 going to firmly place TTC out of my mind for the next week, (other than the fact my fertile window overlaps so there'll be a bit of planning 😂)

My first Monday back at work will be the start of the TWW which is a silver lining to what is normally a depressing first day back! Will finally be able to say "I might be pregnant"

See you all on the other side xx

@ThelastRolo20 I'm deffo putting my short cycle down to covid then! I've heard that before but haven't had any impact myself until now. Going to try and get back into exercising after time off ill. Glad you had a lovely one! How is packing for your next going? Only a few hours to go! I'm hopefully for you this cycle, hopefully holiday will help too

@13lucy glad you were feeling hopeful ♥️ hope you still are, even if quietly when the negative/protective voices take over. It made me sad reading about you being more mentally physically broken and that's the only thing in the time since trying. It's so hard to stay up and have hope. At the same time I can't give up no matter how hard I try and distance myself from it

@UrsulaSings123 I always feel like I haven't posted in ages when it's only been days too 😂 glad you're not feelin the pressure as much second cycle in. All we can do is test, learn, iterate 🤞🏻 and pray 😂 always worth asking a trusted GP no matter where you are in the journey

@Ladyinpink1 I have the same thing with my cycles stop/starting! Strange but reassuring I'm not on my own and it's more normal than I thought. Yes that made sense - thank you for sharing ♥️ I've ordered a cheap Amazon watch with good reviews 😊 not sure whether to come clean to DH that I killed the Apple Watch putting it through the wash one too many times (he bought it) 😂 great news about your appt coming through

My tests are for hormone levels and I'm sure they said something glandular? Before and after ovulation (CD5 and 19). DH is dropping off sperm sample tomorrow at hospital

@purplecolouroffunk sorry to hear all you've been through ♥️

@Wise0wl fingers crossed for your scan! ♥️ I have only good vibes about the outcome

Hey @Ladyinpink1! I’m ok. I’m trying not to think about things too much and have my next scan on Wednesday when I should be 8 weeks. Taking it step by step and not getting ahead of myself that any of this will result in a baby is standing me in ok stead. I’ve really missed you all and am lurking as I’m so invested in your journeys (said like a creepy stalker ha!) and have my fingers crossed for more lucky bfps! Have a wonderful and well deserved holiday @ThelastRolo20 ☀️

@purplecolouroffunk so sorry for what you've had to go through recently, its so sad. Yes of course, I've been here for just over a month (feels so much longer than that!) and everyone is so lovely. I've found it really helpful speaking to others in a similar situation.

I had surgical management 6 weeks ago today. We tried again straight away. I personally felt that using OPK's I would know when I ovulated anyway and there's research to say if you get pregnant within first 3 months of a MC you're less likely to have another one (but of course this still can happen) so we were hoping to have that advantage. My first cycle was a lot shorter than usual at 24 days and my period was only 36 hrs long and very light, so my body obviously wasn't ready for another pregnancy. Just on 2nd cycle and will be testing at the weekend. I felt the same as you in that I was so focused on ttc again to get me through I think. I feel like that has eased a bit this month.

Hello everyone. I hope it’s okay to join even though this is a well established thread? I’m so sorry that we all find ourselves here 💜

I recently had an early loss and had to have a D&C as didn’t miscarry on my own.

Thinking about a new pregnancy is really helping me to get through this, but I’m torn on when we start ttc again.

In my head I know we should probably wait until after a period cause I don’t want dating stress, but in my heart, I really don't want to wait. Especially as we were lucky to fall the first time we tried. I know I’m going to be sad when that inevitably doesn’t happen again. I’m 35 with no children so starting to feel like time is against me.

I know there’s no medical reason to wait, and that waiting is advised only to get accurate dating from your LMP. Surely tracking ovulation gets round that issue?

Any experiences here of trying again before a period vs waiting?

@CluelessInLondon thank you that was really helpful. Now you mention it I do remember reading that somewhere about the data being based on research done a long time ago and that actually it was just population statistics, they weren't actually people ttc. For all we know, they could have been actively trying not to conceive (they probably already had about 8 children in that age!). I'd forgotten about it, so that actually makes me feel much better.

@UrsulaSings123 Try not to dwell too much on the fertility stats, a lot of them are based on data that's so old it's barely relevant (the big one about the "cliff" at 35 is based on data from 300 years ago!). I've been reading Expecting Better by Emily Oster this week which has all sorts of useful analysis on conception and pregnancy, and it shows there's not actually that much difference between success conceiving for women aged 35-39 compared with those in their early 30s. There's a much bigger drop in success at 40+, but you are nowhere near that yet! Just wanted to give a bit of encouragement and reassurance, as that "stat" on reduced fertility over the age of 35 gets thrown around all the time and I don't think many people actually know whether it's accurate or not.

@Ladyinpink1 Good luck for the appointment next week, I really hope it's useful and can give you some clarity - it's so hard when you can't be certain that your body is doing the things you want/need it to do.

Good luck to everyone who is in a new cycle, think this thread is due a few BFPs soon. ❤ And @ThelastRolo20 I hope you have an amazing holiday!

@13lucy I know - feels like everyone's been waiting for this holiday with me 😂 yes, going with the in laws so hoping for a bit of childcare help!

@UrsulaSings123 I'm not going to track ovulation so trying to be relaxed about it, will just try and get good coverage over fertile week and see what happens.

I'm not overly hopeful, my last two cycles have been 2 days shorter than usual so either I'm ovulating early (unlikely given symptoms) or I'm having a slightly shorter luteal phase 🤦‍♀️

Well I was feeling relaxed but for some stupid reason I've just been looking at chances of pregnancy for 35 and scared myself. It seems to vary with what website you're looking at annoyingly. I feel really deflated and sad now 😕

@13lucy luckily I got pregnant quite quickly the first time, but after reading all that it feels like it was just a total fluke now! If you include the time prior to MC we've been trying for over 6 months and with my age I'd be able to speak to the GP about it, especially as my OH is 51. Still keep umming about whether it's worth it though.

@Ladyinpink1 that's great you've finally got the call, can't believe you've been waiting since August! Is that to do with recurrent miscarriage or because of the length of time you've been ttc? I hope the appointment is helpful for you.

@ThelastRolo20 ahhh that all sounds very stressful! Are you planning on taking a relaxed approach this cycle, or going all in? I am planning on testing on Saturday at 8dpo. Definitely too early but why kid myself ill hold out! 😂

@UrsulaSings123 I know what the overthinking is like but sounds like you've done enough! I think generally the clock starts again in terms of fertility testing unless there's a reason to have it sooner e.g. age or other conditions. I was having investigations about a year ago as my periods stopped, but then fell pregnant. I've had more tests post miscarriage as my cycles are still very irregular but my GP has now said wait another 2 or 3 months, which will be about 8 cycles of trying. Sorry if you've said before but how long did it take you last time?

@ThelastRolo20 feel like we've been waiting for your holiday for so long and it's finally almost here! Exciting times and with fertile week not far away. Did you say you were going away with family?

@Ladyinpink1 I've been on thanks, trying not to think about it too much but it catches me every now and then. Managing someone at work who's at their halfway point now has been really tough. It's like a constant reminder of where I went to be - work has also increased paid maternity leave and DH work have increased paternity. Would have been perfect timing so feels like a big joke being played on me if you know what I mean. I didn't end up talking to DH and felt ok keeping it to myself. Luckily I was at the time in my cycle where my mood tends to be best! Still can't believe how quickly time has gone and I'm still in the same position, just more broken mentally and physically!

Great that you're getting tests done. How do you feel about it? You'll have to keep us updated on what they do and how you get on.

@Wise0wl Oh my is liver problems connected with miscarriage?

@Ladyinpink1 so glad they’re seeing you! I read this on another thread if this is helpful?