Am I too young to be a mum?

For the poll, I am not with my boyfriend who I was with at 16, neither is Dh with the girlfriend he had at 16. We were both with them for 2 years.

This honestly doesn't really have anything to do with your age but your complete inability to provide for your own child because you have no job and no house and no the boyfriend's house doesn't count because it is his and not yours so he could kick you out with no notice. So whatever age you were this would be my first response.

You are incredibly young, I know you feel like you are grown up and able to make these decisions but my youngest son is almost 18 and the cost of living, of housing, of childcare has rocketed over the course of his life. You cannot compare how your parents did it to how you will do it now. My SIL bought her first and only house for £29k in 2001. It is certainly not worth that today. She couldn't afford to buy it today on her £22k salary. She struggles to pay bills, never had a holiday, her long term boyfriend is on minimum wage.

Far too young! How old is your boyfriend?

Liking staying home means you're introverted, not that you should start popping out babies. Motherhood is bloody hard work.

At the very least, you need to be able to provide a stable home and enough money to feed/clothe your baby. How do you plan on doing this?

If you hadn't have posted your age at all I'd be saying don't have a baby yet.

I think you're moving in together far too soon into a relationship and that's a lot less of a commitment than kids.

Don't you both want to travel, get married, have some experiences in life that are much harder once you are parents?

I hadn’t even reached my full adult height at 16 (I grew another 5 inches). I’d wait - if for no other reason than that your body might cope better with pregnancy and birth in a couple of years when you can be certain you are physically fully mature. Just a few extra millimetres’ room in your pelvis can make all the difference! Plus of course all the other stuff about money, career stability, independence from his and your families of origin, freedom & autonomy if you need to leave.

Yes you are too young.

Get your own home. Save some money.

You will be in a better position to raise and provide a child with a few more years of experience

How many adult women here do you reckon are still with their high school boyfriends from when they were 16?

How many women here do you reckon would cringe their tits off at being tied to their boyfriend from when they were 16 for the rest of their lives?

I'd love to see a poll.

Yes far too young

It would be wrong to make a judgement call about you personally, who can say what's right for another person really.

But practically speaking, I'd agree with PPs that finishing your qualification and getting a job would be a good plan. This way you'll get your maternity pay and have a job to go back to should you wish.
I'm not an expert on the legal things but there will be lots of people on here that could advise. Eg, would it be best to have both your names on the house and bills when you move in together?
And also I believe there are some differences in entitlement to benefits etc for your age range?

In terms of living life and missing out, think about what age you'll be when your child is 18 and consider that you'll be tied to a lot of responsibility, hard work and putting their needs first until at least that age....of course one could argue that it's preferable to get the out of the way and still be young when your children are grown up!

I was a teen mum. I really wouldn’t recommend it. Even though there are are benefits like UC and contributions towards childcare which weren’t there in my day it is still very tough financially and emotionally. You’ll see friends going out, having holidays that you probably won’t be able to join unless you have very generous parents.
Enjoy your teen years, you won’t get them again.
Enjoy your early 20s when you’ll be earning g and can have a lot of experiences. Then think again at 24/25 or older.
I love my kids dearly but I really wouldn’t wish it for them or my grandkids

Irrelevant with todays COL.

I second this message OP. It is very unusual for such a young boy to want a baby. Are you both trying to escape bad situations and you think that setting up your own little home is the answer? I'm not being goady, this is a genuine question because I get that impression.

Why does your boyfriend want a baby so soon? It’s unusual for a boy.

You are too young. I highly doubt you can afford it and you should wait. Are all the people in your family still in relationships from when they were teenage parents?

OP, please listen to me. You are too young. You really are. There is no need to rush into this is there? You are only 16, a child yourself. Please don't compare looking after a dog to the lifetime commitment of a child, there is absolutely no comparison on earth.

Finish your training and live with your boyfriend for a few years at least. Let him grow into a man first (he is only 18 himself). Just because most of your family had children in their teens, doesn't mean you have to. If they jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?

Yes you are , get qualified then settled in your job , gain experience in your job and life in general .
Enjoy each others company and enjoy life , get to know each other deeply-having a baby is a huge test on a person/ relationship , learn together about what you want in life ,your goals , moral compass , plans etc.
Save , save , save but also go out a little ,you are both very young to be staying in so much.
Just live life for a while , you have so many ,many years to have a baby.

I'd wait until you are in your 20s, people still can change a lot between late teens/early 20s, then you will be more settled in your careers and in a better position to afford a baby, and also you will know you are strong enough as a couple to stay the course together. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a baby in your 20s like my mum did, in fact it's good to do while you're young and have more of your career etc ahead of you and can be out of the 'little children' stage by your 30s.

I guess an advantage of your mum being young is she might be more able to help, but I also presume she is working? So consider how much of a network you have - if people ask me what it's like having babies/kids I always say it depends a lot on how much of that support you have. DH and I live near both our parents and they were able to help out so we didn't always have to pay for babysitting for a night out, or leave work if a child was ill and couldn't go to school. That is a hugely easier situation than if you have to cover all that yourself.

Hello, Young mum here. I am 18 years old with a 9 month old. I absolutely love being a young mum and couldn't imagine my life without my baby. I would say i would wait. Obviously your decision at the end of the day but just take a few things into consideration. Having a young sibling is nothing near to having your own baby. I have a young sibling who I have looked after and it is not the same as when you have your own. I would recommend waiting until you are in a stable job and i would recommend spending some more time with your partner as you want to make sure they are the right person for you and even just to have some time just the both of you. So yes, at 16 I would wait especially until I am in a job,settled in to a house and I know 100% he is the one. Go enjoy your self for a while as when you do have a baby you will not have as much time to do so . A baby is yes something I have always wanted too and I am so grateful and so glad I have my baby, but there is a lot to consider and I would make sure you and your boyfriend are stable and in the best place financially.

There is no rush. Get your experience in your career and also some savings behind you.

If this person is the one for you they aren’t going anywhere and there is no need to rush.

once you have a baby, they aren’t going anywhere and they will only get more expensive.

Enjoy being a couple before becoming parents. Get established at work too.

Wait until you're 25!

Get your money up, travel the world, establish a foundation, get to know your BF. Get engaged, get married, buy a house. Doing all of these things become harder, and sometimes impossible if you have a child beforehand at a very young age.

I would definitely say try to finish your hair dressing course. Then get some good experience and build up a clientele. Then when you have a baby you have a good side hustle. Perhaps learn to do wedding hair.

Give it a year and see if you still feel the same way. Be sure your boyfriend wants it as much as you. Also get married or a civil partnership to provide some security if the relationship diesnNt work out.

Spread your wings a little first, have a few holidays together to make memories. There’s plenty of time for babies, finish your qualifications and get some hairdressing experience under your belt, that’s a job for life, you can do it wherever you find yourself.

Go back to school and grow up.