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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

How important is age when TTC?

57 replies

TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 20:43

Hi all. I just saw a reply on a thread about conception (about whether it’s down to luck) which got me thinking. One poster emphasised how it really comes down to age.

We are wondering when to start TTC for DC2 and my DH thinks we could wait a few years (although said whenever I’m really). I’m 36 now and we were really fortunate as it happened pretty quickly with DC1 so I think he imagines it’ll be similar next time. I reminded him that we might not be so lucky next time, especially if we leave a gap of a few years. I worry it’ll be a risk, waiting, even though I know I’ll hardly be old in say three years! We definitely want another baby.

So I suppose I’d like to hear about experiences of TTC at different ages. Did it take you longer to conceive when older? What ages were you at the time of different t pregnancies? You might think something else was a factor which I’d also appreciate hearing about, if you’re happy to share of course.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
L00k4m3x · 07/01/2024 23:13

I have two children and pregnant with number three currently.

My first took us 10 months to conceive and we were 24 and 26 years old.

My second took us 10 months again to conceive and we were 27 and 30 years old.

Third baby we just thought let’s not track anything, let’s stop contraception and when it happens it happens. Happened in the second cycle and we’re now 29 and 31 (nearly 32).

So although I’m aware we’re still on the younger side, age hasn’t really affected us at all, in fact it’s been the opposite.

I remember my mom telling me when she was 40 years old she started trying for my youngest brother and her and my stepdad dtd ONCE as after 3 kids she knew her body quite well and was aware she was ovulating, that’s all it took.

Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 22:47

SallyWD · 07/01/2024 22:17

Fertility does decline rapidly after 35 so I would get cracking. I certainly wouldn't leave it a few years at 36.
I conceived first attempt at 35. Started trying for my second at 37 and I think it took about 8 months with 2 very early miscarriages.
My friend had seven miscarriages in her early 40s, this was after having 3 children easily in her 20s and early 30s.

So sorry to hear about your two miscarriages - and your friend’s! They are always painful, no matter how early. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

OP posts:
Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 22:44

Sharing, also with the stats**

OP posts:
Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 22:43

Janedoelondon · 07/01/2024 22:29

As follow up, same gynaecologist told me my chance of a successful vbac this time around was around 70 percent. Slightly lower than 75 percent success due to a shorter age difference.

Not having a vbac though and it doesn't bother me (plus baby is breech at 37 weeks so don't think I'll have a choice!!!)

All the best to you.

Show quote history

Thank you for sharing although with the stats which are always great to hear. My (emergency!) C section was surprisingly incredible and very calm compared to many vaginal birth stories I hear and read so I don’t blame you at all - especially if they’re breech! I’d probably go for an elective tbh for peace of mind. Good luck with your final couple of weeks of pregnancy and the newborn stage again. How lovely.

OP posts:
Janedoelondon · 07/01/2024 22:29

TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 21:53

Thank you everyone for your replies. You’ve confirmed what I thought would be the case: that we really should get cracking. I should have said in my OP but DC1 is still a baby and I had a CS so I think we’ll (have to?) wait until she’s 1. This is the problem when you wait until your 30s to meet a nice man who you’re happy to marry and be the father of your DC: potentially two under 2! 🙈

As follow up, same gynaecologist told me my chance of a successful vbac this time around was around 70 percent. Slightly lower than 75 percent success due to a shorter age difference.

Not having a vbac though and it doesn't bother me (plus baby is breech at 37 weeks so don't think I'll have a choice!!!)

All the best to you.

Janedoelondon · 07/01/2024 22:27

TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 21:53

Thank you everyone for your replies. You’ve confirmed what I thought would be the case: that we really should get cracking. I should have said in my OP but DC1 is still a baby and I had a CS so I think we’ll (have to?) wait until she’s 1. This is the problem when you wait until your 30s to meet a nice man who you’re happy to marry and be the father of your DC: potentially two under 2! 🙈

Hello! I fell pregnant with my second when my little boy was 8 months old. Also had a CS. No one has ever mentioned it to me and I have been advised I could have a vbac this time round if I wanted to (but I don't!). One gynaecologist told me anything more than 6 months was fine.

SallyWD · 07/01/2024 22:17

Fertility does decline rapidly after 35 so I would get cracking. I certainly wouldn't leave it a few years at 36.
I conceived first attempt at 35. Started trying for my second at 37 and I think it took about 8 months with 2 very early miscarriages.
My friend had seven miscarriages in her early 40s, this was after having 3 children easily in her 20s and early 30s.

Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 22:09

Oh really? Would that affect my chance of a VBAC though, if I didn’t wait a year I mean? I’m not precious about having a VBAC though!

OP posts:
DragonFly98 · 07/01/2024 22:03

You don't need to wait until she is one to TTC after a C section.

Outliers · 07/01/2024 21:57

It matters a great deal, the science is clear on that.

To a lesser extent, I think conceiving is one part of the battle. Raising kids at an older comes with it's challenges.

Dealing with a teenager in your 30s vs in your 50s a different battle for example. That's just my opinion. You can't of course, help when you find the right partner.

Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 21:55

PS I should have added to my above comment that I’m not totally against having two so close in age. I can definitely see benefits having a close gap to my own sister.

OP posts:
Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 21:53

Thank you everyone for your replies. You’ve confirmed what I thought would be the case: that we really should get cracking. I should have said in my OP but DC1 is still a baby and I had a CS so I think we’ll (have to?) wait until she’s 1. This is the problem when you wait until your 30s to meet a nice man who you’re happy to marry and be the father of your DC: potentially two under 2! 🙈

OP posts:
Needmoresleep · 07/01/2024 21:47

Another saying crack on.

You might not have problems, but if you do, and lose a year or more on 'trying' and referrals you might find you are hitting NHS age limits for treatment,especially if you already have a child.

(I had 2 in my 40s naturally. It happens. I was very lucky.)

Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 21:41

traintractor · 07/01/2024 20:53

In terms of fertility you will be old in 3 years time. Your fertility is likely to decline quite a lot between 36 & 39. If you want a second child I wouldn't wait tbh.

Thanks for the brutal reminder! 😂 I suspected as much.

OP posts:
Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 21:37

Mystro202 · 07/01/2024 20:52

I have 4 children born at ages 32, 35, 37 &39. I had a mmc in between 1 & 2 when I was 34 so for me it wasn't so much about age. I've been very lucky otherwise with quick conceptions and low risk pregnancies and labours.

Sorry to hear about your missed miscarriage. Thank you for replying.

OP posts:
Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 21:36

CurlyWurly1991 · 07/01/2024 20:52

How old is your DH?
yes I noticed a big difference in my fertility between mid 20s and mid 30s. I also found my periods became irregular and I now have more anovulatory cycles. I wouldn’t hang around if you are sure you want another child tbh.

He’s 38. I really should have included that detail.

Thanks for sharing. I suspect that about some of my cycles as before trying to conceive DC1 I never got a positive ovulation predictor kit. I know the peak can be so fast though which might also be why.

OP posts:
Nyckol · 07/01/2024 21:24

For me it took longer(a year) with my first at 30, then fell pregnant straight Away at 33 but miscarried at 10 wks, 2 months later fell pregnant with my second.
Now at 36, fell preg first try then miscarry, then fell pregnant again first try...but just found out.
I don't know what is the cause of miscarriages.
I wanted a third, And I feel 36 for me is old enough, I wouldnt want to wait any longer.

Devilsmommy · 07/01/2024 21:16

Victoryai · 07/01/2024 20:45

At 36 I would get cracking. Secondary infertility is (unfortunately) quite common.

Yep this. I was 36 when I had my first and only but I know people who have had one fine then for unknown reason had trouble TTC again. I wouldn't leave it too long if I was you.

Questiontime10 · 07/01/2024 21:13

36 might be young in many ways but it’s not young in a biological sense and I’d definitely get moving on having another - if you’re interested then a good read is ’it starts with the egg’ or have a look at Hertility on instagram

Alloveragain3 · 07/01/2024 21:09

Age 29- 4 months ttc
Age 31- 5 months ttc but ended in miscarriage
Age 33- 15 months ttc

For me it got harder with age but you see tonnes of women on hear who seem to fall pregnant easily in even their late 30s.

If you're certain you want another and having them now is feasible, I'd probably start trying now in your shoes.

Original poster
TTCquestion · 07/01/2024 21:07

Victoryai · 07/01/2024 20:45

At 36 I would get cracking. Secondary infertility is (unfortunately) quite common.

Yes, even among my friends unfortunately. Totally unexplained too. Thanks for replying.

OP posts:
Olika · 07/01/2024 21:07

Personally at 36 I wouldn't wait if you can start now. I got pregnant right away when we started at 37 but MC and it took us 2.5 years to succeed again. Lots of my friends had no issue to get pregnant with their first but struggled with their second and third.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2024 21:02

DD1 - 19 at conception and on the pill
DD2 - 25 at conception and 13 months of trying with a chemical miscarriage in month 1
DS - 29 at conception and one time having unprotected sex

Not sure how that fits in.

hermionelodge · 07/01/2024 21:02

I conceived DD at age 31 on first month. Now age 34 and currently on month 5 of ttc. I stupidly thought it would happen 1st or 2nd go again. I know 5 months isn't overly long but longer than I anticipated

LadyJelly · 07/01/2024 20:59

I worry about this too. I have one child, am dating and would love another, but can't get cracking as I haven't met anyone yet. Worried I won't until my late 30s and it will be too late. Very lucky I have the one I have.