Trying for second baby long time, anyone else in the same boat?

Hello,
Am a new Mumsnet person, couldn't wait to start and am now sitting here crying my eyes out cos I have found some more people just like me....
Quick history - 1st pregnancy conceived with no problems, lost baby at 20 weeks, most awful thing that ever happened to me and my husband but we got over it in time. 2nd pregnancy conceived after another 6 months (seemed like 6 years), my lovely wonderful son born Jan 2006. We waited for a year cos he was caeserian, then have had 14 months of trying and am starting to lose the plot.
So here I am, I need help, I am desperate.
I have a lovely life, an amazing husband, a great house, nice friends and family. I'm just a normal, well-adjusted person.
But every day of every month is counted, I obsess about the next cycle, can't relax, and feel like I'm just wasting my whole life wondering when or if this is going to happen. I've done or am doing all the practical things like clear blue and doctors and all that.
I just need people to talk to, I don't want to burden my husband all the time, poor thing has to listen to me whinging on a bout it the whole time. And all my friends are super fertile, one friend has just conceived twins and broke my heart slowly a few weeks ago when she spent 2 hours moaning about how terrible it was because she hasn't got any money, their house is not big enough, etc etc.
It's helping just to type this out.
xxx

Yes another here. Conceived dd quickly, conceived pg2 in a one hit wonder but lost it at 7 weeks almost 2 years ago and have had no success since. Have first hospital appointment mid April to see what can be done...

Iwillbepostive - I too worry (panic !) about dd being an only child and what it will mean for her - I too imagined a big family (I am one of three) and in my mind had planned to have had 3 in the time frame that I may not even manage 2 now.

Big hugs all round.

Yes, it took nearly 2 years for me to get pregnant with our DS and we've been trying now for 8 years for a brother/sister, without any luck. We tried clomid and IUI but neither worked. The appointments took up a lot of time and became quite a strain, so we decided to forget about it - no more disappointments. If it happens, it happens.

Like anniemac we've kept it very open. We explained to our DS that sometimes it can be hard for people to have babies (helped by watching the BBC documentary on the human body!), so he doesn't ask so much anymore. Our family and friends also know why we have only one child, so there's no pressure from them either. Overall people are understanding and considerate. Our DS knows that we're more than 100% happy to have him and I think that's the most important thing to remember - quite a few of our friends can't have any at all, despite trying everything.

Good luck - I really hope it works for you!

Hi there Anies

Same boat here, trying for just over 2 years (seems like a bad dream sometimes as DD was immediate). Also beginning to think about assisted methods although I am not at all sure we would survive IVF - the last couple of years have taken their toll emotionally and I can't say it has brought DH and me any closer...

I agree it can be very lonely, surrounded by people on their second and third children and trying to remain cheery, waiting for the inevitable question from strangers about brothers and sisters.

I spend too much time worrying about whether DD will be massively disadvantaged if she stays an only child. Plus it is a million miles from what I had imagined - 4 children, lots of noise and chaos. Altogether a miserable experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

We haven't told anyone and it means people can be extra insensitive I think. My sister is pregnant at the moment and is endlessly moaning about symptoms. To be fair, I did too at her stage but now I would put up with absolutely anything for a baby.

Anyway, enough rambling. Just wanted to say, yes in the same boat and I do sympathise!

Hi.
There are a lot of us trying for our second in www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1366/487400?stamp=080317084554
You're welcome to come and join us. Good luck!