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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

I'm FUCKING sick of this, come wail with me and help me please.

133 replies

MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 10:02

Right. Started my period this morning, onto cycle 12 and I mean BUSINESS. No one seems to want to talk to us until we've been suffering endlessly for over 48 years, so I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I've obviously read all there is to know about conception and what you should/shouldn't take bla dee bla but I'm looking to go back to basics and would like some MN knowledge, please.

Me:

  • 28 years old
  • Regular periods my entire life
  • Average cycle 29 - 30 days
  • Average luteal phase 12 days
  • Periods usually last about 4-5 days with only 2-3 days of heavy bleeding, not too much cramping
  • Quit smoking a year ago
  • Don't drink much alcohol
  • 1-2 cups coffee a day
  • Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way
  • Healthy diet - I calorie count on My Fitness Pal, diet is mainly Mediterranean as I live in France
  • Have had 2 chemicals, I believe, but also possible that the lines were evaps and it was just a dodgy batch

DH:

  • 31 years old
  • Never had a period 🙂
  • Healthy, works out, good diet, quit smoking a year ago, no issues in the bedroom, good sex drive, very good at getting things off of high shelves etc etc

Supplements I take:

  • 120mg - 240mg CoQ10 daily
  • Folic acid daily
  • Vit D daily
  • Vit C every now and then

Supplements DH takes:

  • 120mg CoQ10 daily as long as I have enough left for me, if so, he goes down to once every couple of days until we can get more
  • Vit D

I bought Maca powder recently, I've read the good and the bad but I think I'm willing to give it a go, so will take 1 tsp daily and DH probably will do the same.

Mentally, I'm flitting between "I'm so fucking DONE with TTC screw babies and their stupid little STUPID faces, I don't need one!" or wailing on the bathroom floor in a puddle of my own tears, OR floating around the house in an impenetrable bubble of positivity repeating the mantra "everything will work out in the end" whilst waving around smoky sage and fairy tears. So all in all, pretty good.

I'd just like some advice, really.

OP posts:
buckingmad · 02/12/2023 14:39

@MademoiselleFrenglish very similar circumstances as you. I was 26, DH 30. Took us 12 months but we got there in the end. I tracked everything, we’ve never been smokers, didn’t drink much, healthy diets etc etc. in the end, DH got sent away with work on covid stuff and we just DTD when he managed to come home rather than tracking the perfect time. That was the month we conceived.

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:37

littlemousebigcheese · 02/12/2023 14:35

Look, as a chubby gnome who never did any of those things and lives on chocolate and chicken nugget, I got pregnant first time, both times, I think you're overthinking it. I know it's hard and I'm so sorry you are struggling but the constant monitoring and worrying will just make your body go into stress mode

Also I think you're a very beautiful chubby gnome. Everyone loves gnomes. And chicken nuggets.

OP posts:
hopingforapeainapod · 02/12/2023 14:37

@Amy259 I’m having a Hycosy on Tuesday and really really hoping this does the trick like it did for you! 🤞

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:37

littlemousebigcheese · 02/12/2023 14:35

Look, as a chubby gnome who never did any of those things and lives on chocolate and chicken nugget, I got pregnant first time, both times, I think you're overthinking it. I know it's hard and I'm so sorry you are struggling but the constant monitoring and worrying will just make your body go into stress mode

Yes I think you're right. I've been a lot more relaxed over the past few months but have still been monitoring and it's just not worth it. I'm taking the month off, @AlltheFs has convinced me 😁

OP posts:
Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:35

AlltheFs · 02/12/2023 14:28

This is not medical advice but I recommend getting absolutely shit faced on fizzy wine for 2 weeks over Christmas and shagging all over your sofa.

This worked in a pair of 41/46 year olds that weren’t really trying……

There’s a reason a lot of babies are born in September. I’d spend December not taking anything and letting go.

Then in January start fertilty tests. There’s probably something wrong somewhere.

You know what, this sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea. We've spent a year tracking everything, trying to do everything right, timing sex, saying no to the last glass of wine because we "shouldn't" and clearly none of that has done any good. I think we deserve a month of doing whatever the hell we please!!

OP posts:
littlemousebigcheese · 02/12/2023 14:35

Look, as a chubby gnome who never did any of those things and lives on chocolate and chicken nugget, I got pregnant first time, both times, I think you're overthinking it. I know it's hard and I'm so sorry you are struggling but the constant monitoring and worrying will just make your body go into stress mode

AlltheFs · 02/12/2023 14:28

This is not medical advice but I recommend getting absolutely shit faced on fizzy wine for 2 weeks over Christmas and shagging all over your sofa.

This worked in a pair of 41/46 year olds that weren’t really trying……

There’s a reason a lot of babies are born in September. I’d spend December not taking anything and letting go.

Then in January start fertilty tests. There’s probably something wrong somewhere.

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:20

Ttcmumof · 02/12/2023 14:18

Ok I’ll bite. Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way? 🤣

Well OBVIOUSLY yes. My mummy has said so plenty of times and she would never lie to me.

@Tigger1116 Oh my you can!! Will order one! Thank you!

OP posts:
Ttcmumof · 02/12/2023 14:18

Ok I’ll bite. Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way? 🤣

Tigger1116 · 02/12/2023 14:18

You can buy sperm checking kits online

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:17

@Amy259 Ooh thanks for that, I'll bring that up with my GP next time I go, try to get the ball rolling a little bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:16

@FloofCloud I have a cat! He's a bastard, but still a cat.

OP posts:
Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 14:14

Yes 100% sure he's quit smoking and vaping. We live and work together so are never apart and it was his idea to quit in the first place. We're both on nicotine patches. He doesn't cycle, he works out at home and mainly does body weight exercises and yoga, so no overdoing it.

We're both healthy weights overall, doctor has no concern with that. He could do with putting on 2kg and I could do with losing 2kg. I'm size 8 usually, sometimes 10.

He had a hernia as a baby and another in his 20s, not sure if that could affect anything? I've never had any health issues other than a broken bone as a child, same for him. Most I've had gynaecological wise is a UTI about a year ago.

I think getting a blood test for both of us and a sperm test for him is the reasonable first step?

I'll look into a moon cup, will have to figure out how to stick it up there!

OP posts:
Amy259 · 02/12/2023 13:55

@MademoiselleFrenglish you are me August 2021. We could be the same person. Except I’ve never smoked and I live in Scotland…

But all the rest, snap. And by cycle 12 I had tried IT ALL. Every herbal supplement on the planet, “preseed” lube and a ferti-Lily every time we dtd, sex lots, sex every second day, sex just once. Positions, acupuncture, teas, you name it, I had done it!

It was covid times so nhs wait times were massive, so after my GP had done the bloods we were told referral was at least another year. So I went to just a private scan clinic (like baby ultrasounds) that offered “health checks” - she checked the lining of my uterus was thick enough, and that my ovaries were active. Was about £50.

Then I went for a private HyCoSy at a fertility clinic, that was £500. If you can access a stand-alone test (and are able), I couldn’t recommend it more. Flushed my tubes, saw there was some mucus in my right so she flushed again until it cleared. I got pregnant the next month. If you Google it, you’ll see the same had happened to many - not a guarantee, and expensive, but it was certainly worth it for us.

Feliciacat · 02/12/2023 13:54

@Unabletomitigate thank you for posting that. I clicked on and it appears to be 2.5 hours long. Can you sum it up in a sentence at all? Is it that meat is good or meat is bad?

FloofCloud · 02/12/2023 13:45

Agnus castus
Put or lose a bit of weight depending on if you're a little thin or fat as oestrogen /fat relationship
Get a cat
Get a new job
.. the above take your mind off your problem and helps ... honestly!

Sunsea21 · 02/12/2023 13:19

Have you tried Angus castus

LambriniBobinIsleworth · 02/12/2023 13:18

At a similar age and with a similar lack of success I had fertility acupuncture. Might have been bollocks but I did get pregnant.

Unabletomitigate · 02/12/2023 13:15

Have a look at this> very interesting. Inflammation affecting fertility.

Title a bit offputting, the discussion at the start of the impact of diet on fertility.

How The Carnivore Diet Affects Your Hormones | Dr Robert Kiltz, MD

✅Join my PATREON for early releases, bonus content, and weekly Zoom meetings! https://www.patreon.com/AnthonyChaffeeMD@doctorkiltz is the Founder and Directo...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIfq0-Mx74o

Daisygivemeyouranswerdo · 02/12/2023 13:06

I’m not sure if this is written about often (or a lot) but I used a moon cup once after sex after a couple of months trying and got pregnant that month. I figured it would keep the sperm close to the cervix and it did I guess!

J3llycat · 02/12/2023 13:04

Have you had him tested at all?

Castlereagh · 02/12/2023 13:00

Does your partner do a lot of cycling or anything like that? Are you 100 percent sure he's stopped smoking (not vaping or anything). And I know you said you have a healthy diet but are either of you over or under weight? Does your partner overdo it at the gym at all? Anything like undescended testicles as a child or major illnesses, have you ever had PID or anything gynae?
Other than that, I would dtd every other day not every day, and get the basic blood work and analysis done. Time is on your side if you do need any help conceiving.

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 02/12/2023 12:51

At the very least your dh needs a quick sperm test. You might not get a dr willing to see you but he might find a gp willing to request an easy lab test for him.

Doodledeedum · 02/12/2023 12:39

I agree with @AthenaPopodopolous
I didn't stop the wine 😉

Doodledeedum · 02/12/2023 12:38

Track egg white
Do the deed when you feel horny ( a good sign you're coming up to ovulation unless you've got the constant horn on of course)
Keep bum elevated after ( old wives tale but hey what the hell ? - I did this)

Magnesium
VIT d
Folic acid

If you're entitled or can push for it have blood work done- check thyroid, iron etc
Have a internal scan ( checking position of uterus/for fibroids etc)
Have checks on progesterone levels during your cycle

Fertility acupuncture

The partner was on pre conception male vitamins