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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

I'm FUCKING sick of this, come wail with me and help me please.

133 replies

MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 10:02

Right. Started my period this morning, onto cycle 12 and I mean BUSINESS. No one seems to want to talk to us until we've been suffering endlessly for over 48 years, so I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I've obviously read all there is to know about conception and what you should/shouldn't take bla dee bla but I'm looking to go back to basics and would like some MN knowledge, please.

Me:

  • 28 years old
  • Regular periods my entire life
  • Average cycle 29 - 30 days
  • Average luteal phase 12 days
  • Periods usually last about 4-5 days with only 2-3 days of heavy bleeding, not too much cramping
  • Quit smoking a year ago
  • Don't drink much alcohol
  • 1-2 cups coffee a day
  • Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way
  • Healthy diet - I calorie count on My Fitness Pal, diet is mainly Mediterranean as I live in France
  • Have had 2 chemicals, I believe, but also possible that the lines were evaps and it was just a dodgy batch

DH:

  • 31 years old
  • Never had a period 🙂
  • Healthy, works out, good diet, quit smoking a year ago, no issues in the bedroom, good sex drive, very good at getting things off of high shelves etc etc

Supplements I take:

  • 120mg - 240mg CoQ10 daily
  • Folic acid daily
  • Vit D daily
  • Vit C every now and then

Supplements DH takes:

  • 120mg CoQ10 daily as long as I have enough left for me, if so, he goes down to once every couple of days until we can get more
  • Vit D

I bought Maca powder recently, I've read the good and the bad but I think I'm willing to give it a go, so will take 1 tsp daily and DH probably will do the same.

Mentally, I'm flitting between "I'm so fucking DONE with TTC screw babies and their stupid little STUPID faces, I don't need one!" or wailing on the bathroom floor in a puddle of my own tears, OR floating around the house in an impenetrable bubble of positivity repeating the mantra "everything will work out in the end" whilst waving around smoky sage and fairy tears. So all in all, pretty good.

I'd just like some advice, really.

OP posts:
Winterday1991 · 03/12/2023 08:49

Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way

Wtf??

sleepymama3 · 03/12/2023 08:42

Definitely agree with the 'can't be arsed' approach. Reasonable amount of sex at approximately your time of ovulation, have a few laughs and forget about it until your period doesn't show up.
Easier said than done on your first time, I know.
Relaxing also works wonders for getting labour started. But I don't mean planned relaxing with the scented candles and harp music malarkey, I mean be gentle with yourself and allow nature to take its course.
Also, it's not often that I read a post on MN and instantly want to be friends with the OP, but you sound lovely and I think you'd be a great pregnant lady, a birthing hero and a fabulous mum. (Too much?!) Good luck...

TokyoSushi · 03/12/2023 08:34

No advice, my DC are 11 & 13 now, but I tried for 4 months, and then realised I didn't even know about ovulation or a fertile window, never mind the rest - I had to buy a book!

But just to say that you sound lovely OP, I'd really like you to be pregnant soon, sending good luck wishes!

Hurdygurdy12 · 03/12/2023 08:25

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Flyhigher · 03/12/2023 08:15

OP have you tracked egg white mucus and done it on the last day?

Flyhigher · 03/12/2023 08:09

For some women you can only get pregnant one day a month. That day is the last day you make the egg white. If you make egg white you are ovulating. I made egg white for three days. It's only on the third day you can get pregnant.

Having too much sex dilutes sperm. Make sure you track your egg white. And yes if you feel horny that's also egg white time!!

jadey1991 · 03/12/2023 01:22

Op when u do the deed with dh what position are you in?

CallieQ · 03/12/2023 00:57

This reply has been deleted

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emmatcc1 · 03/12/2023 00:17

@MademoiselleFrenglish I can relate to this so much. I’m on cycle 17 currently last day of af. We’ve tried just about everything including opks, bbt, vitamins, having sex everyday or only once, skipped a month and relaxed, legs on the wall after and orgasm everytime, I’m definitely ovulating, I don’t smoke or drink alcohol or coffee. We’re both healthy weight, my partner smokes but has cut down a lot over the past year, his libido is very much fine and so is mine. It’s been so long and I’ve somewhat relaxed about all the tww and timing dtd so we do it when we feel like it about every other day maybe every 2 days. Don’t have the energy right now to do all the testing, maybe next year but I doubt it as we’re planning on selling our house and building our own.

blackbirdsinginginthenight · 02/12/2023 21:18

Y

Denimdenimdenim · 02/12/2023 20:31

I was seen after 3 losses. It was at that point I was made aware I ovulate much earlier in my cycle than usual. Was told to try regularly throughout the whole month rather than on set days/weeks. Worked really well for us.

BurrosTail · 02/12/2023 20:11

Love your list!

one basic thing is missing though, which days of the month are you horny? (No need to share with us!)

Doodledeedum · 02/12/2023 20:02

@Hurdygurdy12 it was said tongue in cheek.
I'm sure OP isn't taking my advice as gospel or medical

missmoosh · 02/12/2023 19:29

We tried solidly for 16 months and previously for just under a year a short while before that (however at that time my thyroid was nuts so we were aware we had 0 chance). We just got our bfp this cycle, the things I did differently were:
1- paid for Ivf and was due to start that on the next cycle. Instead I got a positive!
2) upped the coq 10 to 600mg
3) started taking optibac for women
4) husband put the fertilily in for me (this was our 4th month using it but first cycle with him putting it in)
5) went for a walk every day and looked forward to period arriving to get on with Ivf!
It sucks I cried all the time waiting for the miracle. Now I have severe anxiety worrying that somethings going to go wrong!

Defo get checked though you should be eligible for basic tests now. All our tests came back normal, so unfortunately it can just take time

moosey89 · 02/12/2023 19:22

I have zero advice - my first time TTC was nearly 8 years ago (big gap in the middle as I split with my ex husband), but nothing definitively works or doesn't work for me. Total luck of the draw as to how fertile you are as a couple!

But I love your attitude and your post made me smile - really hope you get your BFP soon. After a year definitely go to the GP and get the ball rolling on tests, best to rule out if anything is medically getting in the way of you conceiving.

BurbageBrook · 02/12/2023 19:15

Pre-seed!

BurbageBrook · 02/12/2023 19:15

I cut out caffeine and alcohol and used pressed lube.

noooooooo · 02/12/2023 18:28

Another one for keeping your arse in the air for as long as possible post-splooge. Hope you have success and pass on the perfection genes, très funny.

4LeafCloverBaby · 02/12/2023 18:22

MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 10:02

Right. Started my period this morning, onto cycle 12 and I mean BUSINESS. No one seems to want to talk to us until we've been suffering endlessly for over 48 years, so I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I've obviously read all there is to know about conception and what you should/shouldn't take bla dee bla but I'm looking to go back to basics and would like some MN knowledge, please.

Me:

  • 28 years old
  • Regular periods my entire life
  • Average cycle 29 - 30 days
  • Average luteal phase 12 days
  • Periods usually last about 4-5 days with only 2-3 days of heavy bleeding, not too much cramping
  • Quit smoking a year ago
  • Don't drink much alcohol
  • 1-2 cups coffee a day
  • Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way
  • Healthy diet - I calorie count on My Fitness Pal, diet is mainly Mediterranean as I live in France
  • Have had 2 chemicals, I believe, but also possible that the lines were evaps and it was just a dodgy batch

DH:

  • 31 years old
  • Never had a period 🙂
  • Healthy, works out, good diet, quit smoking a year ago, no issues in the bedroom, good sex drive, very good at getting things off of high shelves etc etc

Supplements I take:

  • 120mg - 240mg CoQ10 daily
  • Folic acid daily
  • Vit D daily
  • Vit C every now and then

Supplements DH takes:

  • 120mg CoQ10 daily as long as I have enough left for me, if so, he goes down to once every couple of days until we can get more
  • Vit D

I bought Maca powder recently, I've read the good and the bad but I think I'm willing to give it a go, so will take 1 tsp daily and DH probably will do the same.

Mentally, I'm flitting between "I'm so fucking DONE with TTC screw babies and their stupid little STUPID faces, I don't need one!" or wailing on the bathroom floor in a puddle of my own tears, OR floating around the house in an impenetrable bubble of positivity repeating the mantra "everything will work out in the end" whilst waving around smoky sage and fairy tears. So all in all, pretty good.

I'd just like some advice, really.

“Stupid little STUPID faces” 😂🤣😭😭😭 I’m done, that got me so good 🤣👌🏼👏🏼👏🏼

sillnotseal · 02/12/2023 18:17

private sperm analysis is cheap and non invasive. You could literally book this in for Monday? There are kits you can buy online too for about £50-60

kookit · 02/12/2023 18:15

The only things I did was use Preseed lubricant, and took "trying for baby" vitamins (yes that's the actual name haha) I fell pregnant first month, we also just had a massive amount of sex all month tbh Grin we didn't want to start tracking and charting straight away and lo and behold we didn't need to in the end. I'm sorry, I know it's not this simple for a lot of people but I think sometimes it feel really overwhelming and complicated when it doesn't need to be (in the first instance). Best of luck OP!

paulaparticles · 02/12/2023 18:02

Look it up it helped me twice. Your ovaries can be stimulated with fertility reflexology. It's fascinating. They can tell you if any blockages etc

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 17:39

buckingmad · 02/12/2023 17:30

@MademoiselleFrenglish how long do you DTD for after your peak LH test? I think this is where I went wrong with my first. I think I must ovulate quite a while after my surge as it was the month that we DTD a few days after my surge that we conceived. Just a thought.

Once my period ends, we average once every 2 days. Then about a week after my period ends we up to every other day until my OPKs start getting darker. Once the OPK line is as dark as/darker than the test line we go to once a day for about 4-5 days, then back down to every couple of days for a few days. I know when ovulation has finished as my libido disappears entirely! In general I seem to ovulate between CD15 and CD20 but as I don't use BBT, we cover all our bases for that entire week.

I think we may try DTD every couple of days for the full cycle. Can't hurt (well there are some friction issues after a while...)

OP posts:
buckingmad · 02/12/2023 17:30

@MademoiselleFrenglish how long do you DTD for after your peak LH test? I think this is where I went wrong with my first. I think I must ovulate quite a while after my surge as it was the month that we DTD a few days after my surge that we conceived. Just a thought.

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 17:17

@namechange7479 It's honestly mad how many people ended up conceiving when they couldn't be bothered/didn't have time to try that month. Think I'll busy myself with baking Christmas cookies and perfecting my mulled wine recipe for the next month, maybe it'll happen then 😂I'll look into private tests in January. I have a good friend who went through the whole process recently, so I'll have a chat with her too and see if she recommends any clinics etc, thank you!

@applesandmares I'm 99% sure I'm ovulating. I have the same tell tale signs every month and my levels are good on my premom app and on the strips, always very very dark when they should be etc. I'm going to buy a sperm testing kit in January and I've heard about the ferti-lily cup but haven't done much research, so will also do that, thank you!

OP posts: