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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

I'm FUCKING sick of this, come wail with me and help me please.

133 replies

MademoiselleFrenglish · 02/12/2023 10:02

Right. Started my period this morning, onto cycle 12 and I mean BUSINESS. No one seems to want to talk to us until we've been suffering endlessly for over 48 years, so I'm taking matters into my own hands.

I've obviously read all there is to know about conception and what you should/shouldn't take bla dee bla but I'm looking to go back to basics and would like some MN knowledge, please.

Me:

  • 28 years old
  • Regular periods my entire life
  • Average cycle 29 - 30 days
  • Average luteal phase 12 days
  • Periods usually last about 4-5 days with only 2-3 days of heavy bleeding, not too much cramping
  • Quit smoking a year ago
  • Don't drink much alcohol
  • 1-2 cups coffee a day
  • Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way
  • Healthy diet - I calorie count on My Fitness Pal, diet is mainly Mediterranean as I live in France
  • Have had 2 chemicals, I believe, but also possible that the lines were evaps and it was just a dodgy batch

DH:

  • 31 years old
  • Never had a period 🙂
  • Healthy, works out, good diet, quit smoking a year ago, no issues in the bedroom, good sex drive, very good at getting things off of high shelves etc etc

Supplements I take:

  • 120mg - 240mg CoQ10 daily
  • Folic acid daily
  • Vit D daily
  • Vit C every now and then

Supplements DH takes:

  • 120mg CoQ10 daily as long as I have enough left for me, if so, he goes down to once every couple of days until we can get more
  • Vit D

I bought Maca powder recently, I've read the good and the bad but I think I'm willing to give it a go, so will take 1 tsp daily and DH probably will do the same.

Mentally, I'm flitting between "I'm so fucking DONE with TTC screw babies and their stupid little STUPID faces, I don't need one!" or wailing on the bathroom floor in a puddle of my own tears, OR floating around the house in an impenetrable bubble of positivity repeating the mantra "everything will work out in the end" whilst waving around smoky sage and fairy tears. So all in all, pretty good.

I'd just like some advice, really.

OP posts:
CallieQ · 04/12/2023 09:37

You posted on more than one thread last night being nasty to vulnerable posters. There’s a reason why MN took your post down, because they agreed. Just think about the effect of what you post before you do it.

No I did not. And you haven't provided any evidence so stop accusing me of things I haven't done. Looks like MN have taken your post down now so I guess they agree with me

Hurdygurdy12 · 04/12/2023 07:14

CallieQ · 04/12/2023 01:17

You should have gone to bed earlier last night. Staying up late and being a bitch to people on the internet isn’t a good way to get over your own issues.

Omg that is so rude. I don't have issues and I wasn't being a bitch I suggested that relaxing a bit might help

You posted on more than one thread last night being nasty to vulnerable posters. There’s a reason why MN took your post down, because they agreed. Just think about the effect of what you post before you do it.

CallieQ · 04/12/2023 01:17

You should have gone to bed earlier last night. Staying up late and being a bitch to people on the internet isn’t a good way to get over your own issues.

Omg that is so rude. I don't have issues and I wasn't being a bitch I suggested that relaxing a bit might help

shellyleppard · 03/12/2023 23:31

Feet up against the wall after sex.....helps the sperm. Easier said than done but try and relax..... sometimes the worry can stop you conceiving. Good luck 🍀❤️🤞

jadey1991 · 03/12/2023 23:24

miniegg3 · 03/12/2023 12:43

Who knows.. tried it and first time 👶

Show quote history

Nooooo I always orgasm b4 DH too... or we go at the same time

jadey1991 · 03/12/2023 23:22

MademoiselleFrenglish · 03/12/2023 12:20

@jadey1991 Ok great, that's what I usually do. But usually for 30 mins because I can't be arsed getting back up right away 😁

@emmatcc1 Oh wow, that makes sense! Thank you! We're so used to me orgasming first, think it's going to take a looot of practice. Poor us, we'll just have to spend days and days perfecting it 🙂

Haha I managed to conceive my last 2 that way... 😅 🤣

Noshowlomo · 03/12/2023 14:10

I conceived the day after I had been on an all dayer my mates. I was prescribed clomid as not always ovulating but the first round failed. The month that worked my husband took Maca, we used preseed and decided to have fun,not get hung up about it and now the result is 4.5.
Deffo get your husband tested though, my friend tried for a year with her husband and they tested and his sperm didn’t swim, at all. She had to have IVF, and wished they had been tested earlier to save that year

Timpani · 03/12/2023 13:28

This was us. Well, without the smoking/nicotine.

Sadly for us it was a MF issue. Husband had a really low sperm count in all ways. There was no amount of shagging that would have made a difference.

We had DS by ICSI/IVF.

Fortunately for us, my DD came along naturally soon after! But there have been no more babies despite another IVF round and 9 years of unprotected sex.

Good luck.

Bali200 · 03/12/2023 13:23

MademoiselleFrenglish · 03/12/2023 11:43

Hang on, that's interesting! I always orgasm before DH (he's a proper gentleman) - would him orgasming before me make any difference?!

Show quote history

Yep this worked for me, twice. The contractions help them on their way up there. Good luck!

miniegg3 · 03/12/2023 12:43

MademoiselleFrenglish · 03/12/2023 11:43

Hang on, that's interesting! I always orgasm before DH (he's a proper gentleman) - would him orgasming before me make any difference?!

Show quote history

Who knows.. tried it and first time 👶

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 03/12/2023 12:20

@jadey1991 Ok great, that's what I usually do. But usually for 30 mins because I can't be arsed getting back up right away 😁

@emmatcc1 Oh wow, that makes sense! Thank you! We're so used to me orgasming first, think it's going to take a looot of practice. Poor us, we'll just have to spend days and days perfecting it 🙂

OP posts:
emmatcc1 · 03/12/2023 11:59

@MademoiselleFrenglish I think yes, the contractions are supposed to help pull in sperm.

jadey1991 · 03/12/2023 11:55

MademoiselleFrenglish · 03/12/2023 10:41

Morning!

Loving that so many people want DH to get me up the duff. Won't tell him, his head won't fit through the door, but I love you all.

@sillnotseal I'm not in the UK so not sure how easy it is over here tbh (France) but regardless I'm taking December off and drinking wine, eating paté, staying up late and mooning the neighbours. December is MY month!

@noooooooo When you say arse in the air, is putting a very thick pillow under my bumcheeks whilst I scroll on my phone for 30 mins enough, or should I actually be doing downward dog?

@BurbageBrook I've used so much preseed over the past few months I'm surprised it's not coming out my eyeballs. Unfortunately doesn't seem to be doing much for us. I'm almost out of it now and Amazon don't seem to stock it anymore, so I've got Conceive+ lube instead.

@moosey89 Ah thank you. I've sobbed in DHs arms many times this year so it's not all rainbows and good humour but I've just sort of decided that I'm done with that now (give it a week I'll be wailing on the bathroom floor again, oh well).

@missmoosh Thank you for that big list! I definitely need to up my dosage of CoQ10 but it's just so bloody hard to find over here. I'm convinced that French women don't have trouble getting pregnant, they just share a platter of escargots with hubby, have sex round the back of the boulangerie and then birth perfect children who don't throw food. Will see if I can order some from Holland and Barrett, they've never let me down. Sorry you're having trouble with anxiety. It's a real bastard isn't it? I'd offer advice but it's not something I've managed to beat myself yet.

@emmatcc1 Ah I'm sorry. It's just the shittiest of shit. Feel free to join me in taking December off, enjoy the festive season and get back on the horse (your DH) in Jan. Who knows, maybe we'll both end up pregnant at the same time!

@jadey1991 We like missionary, doggy, me lying on my tummy or me on top. So I kind of figure we cover all gravitational bases 😁

@Flyhigher I'm always a bit unclear about what egg white looks like, think I need to do some googling!

@TokyoSushi You're so kind, thank you!

@sleepymama3 "Can't be arsed" mode is pretty much how I live my entire life, so I really should be doing it with this too. Shouldn't be too hard to achieve! Oh THANK YOU! You sound like you'd make a good friend to me too, and not just because of all of the compliments 😉

When you have sex and he let's his swimmers go lay on ut back with her legs up in the air and place ur fist under your bum. Stay like that for 5 min.

Bollindger · 03/12/2023 11:47

Give yourself a rest till after Xmas, take him out get drunk, dress up and enjoy the season. Start 2024 with lots of cuddles and not needing to perform, it could actually be stress that is a problem....

Plumful · 03/12/2023 11:43

I agree just enjoy December
I conceived after a really boozy weekend with friends, had been taking folic acid in the run up but nothing else other than that, the clear blue work for me first time.

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 03/12/2023 11:43

miniegg3 · 03/12/2023 11:16

OK the thought of the spoon shape is giving me the heebie jeebies 🤢

But I did come to say the same. I swear what did it for me after trying for ages was propping bum on pillow and orgasming after he'd come. I thought it was something to do with the muscle contractions squeezing it up there better? 🤔

Show quote history

Hang on, that's interesting! I always orgasm before DH (he's a proper gentleman) - would him orgasming before me make any difference?!

OP posts:
miniegg3 · 03/12/2023 11:19

Oh! It was also the month I tried conceive plus gel or whatever it is 👍

miniegg3 · 03/12/2023 11:16

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 02/12/2023 15:12

Do you orgasm during sex? When you orgasm the end of your cervix lengthens and creates a spoon shape to dip into the semen. It really does. I have an odd shaped cervix and a gynaecologist told me that I should make sure to orgasm either during or before or even immediately after my DH had orgasmed to ensure that my cervix was low. I don’t come during sex normally (I mean without extra work) so I changed that and made babies!!!
Life changing for my sex life as well as my mother status!

OK the thought of the spoon shape is giving me the heebie jeebies 🤢

But I did come to say the same. I swear what did it for me after trying for ages was propping bum on pillow and orgasming after he'd come. I thought it was something to do with the muscle contractions squeezing it up there better? 🤔

Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 03/12/2023 10:45

I also need to stop testing and accept that this isn't "implantation bleeding" but an actual fucking period. I have a horrible habit of looking at tests hours later and then getting excited when the evap line appears and is pink. Bastard tests.

OP posts:
Original poster
MademoiselleFrenglish · 03/12/2023 10:41

Morning!

Loving that so many people want DH to get me up the duff. Won't tell him, his head won't fit through the door, but I love you all.

@sillnotseal I'm not in the UK so not sure how easy it is over here tbh (France) but regardless I'm taking December off and drinking wine, eating paté, staying up late and mooning the neighbours. December is MY month!

@noooooooo When you say arse in the air, is putting a very thick pillow under my bumcheeks whilst I scroll on my phone for 30 mins enough, or should I actually be doing downward dog?

@BurbageBrook I've used so much preseed over the past few months I'm surprised it's not coming out my eyeballs. Unfortunately doesn't seem to be doing much for us. I'm almost out of it now and Amazon don't seem to stock it anymore, so I've got Conceive+ lube instead.

@moosey89 Ah thank you. I've sobbed in DHs arms many times this year so it's not all rainbows and good humour but I've just sort of decided that I'm done with that now (give it a week I'll be wailing on the bathroom floor again, oh well).

@missmoosh Thank you for that big list! I definitely need to up my dosage of CoQ10 but it's just so bloody hard to find over here. I'm convinced that French women don't have trouble getting pregnant, they just share a platter of escargots with hubby, have sex round the back of the boulangerie and then birth perfect children who don't throw food. Will see if I can order some from Holland and Barrett, they've never let me down. Sorry you're having trouble with anxiety. It's a real bastard isn't it? I'd offer advice but it's not something I've managed to beat myself yet.

@emmatcc1 Ah I'm sorry. It's just the shittiest of shit. Feel free to join me in taking December off, enjoy the festive season and get back on the horse (your DH) in Jan. Who knows, maybe we'll both end up pregnant at the same time!

@jadey1991 We like missionary, doggy, me lying on my tummy or me on top. So I kind of figure we cover all gravitational bases 😁

@Flyhigher I'm always a bit unclear about what egg white looks like, think I need to do some googling!

@TokyoSushi You're so kind, thank you!

@sleepymama3 "Can't be arsed" mode is pretty much how I live my entire life, so I really should be doing it with this too. Shouldn't be too hard to achieve! Oh THANK YOU! You sound like you'd make a good friend to me too, and not just because of all of the compliments 😉

OP posts:
monsteramunch · 03/12/2023 10:19

Winterday1991 · 03/12/2023 08:49

Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way

Wtf??

It's very, very obviously a joke. Baffling that considering the subject matter you would choose to post the message you did. OP sounds brilliant IMO.

bigpawsjames · 03/12/2023 09:22

Preseed helped me!

Mangotango39 · 03/12/2023 09:16

Personally, I love fertility acupuncture and also throughout the first tri.

you need to push for testing though , you and DH , just so you can rule out any basic issues .

rileyy · 03/12/2023 09:05

Winterday1991 · 03/12/2023 08:49

Breathtakingly beautiful and perfect in every way

Wtf??

OP is obviously being sarcastic and has written with a tongue in cheek, humorous tone. Chill.

rileyy · 03/12/2023 09:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request