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Conception

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Original poster

Dammit I can't find my cervix

34 replies

beaniesteve · 13/03/2008 12:46

Seriously - I can't find it. I have tried all sorts of different positions and shoved my longest finger as far as I can and I am not feeling anythig which feels like the tip of my nose.

I can feel sort and squishy things at the side and top front.

Am I just not reaching far enough?

I know my doctor had a problem when I had a smear once - they said I had a small cervix.

Help!

OP posts:
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themildmanneredbunny · 16/03/2008 00:36

i keep mine in my sock. easy to find there.

Original poster
beaniesteve · 16/03/2008 00:31

ha ha at hester

still not found it by the way but am reading my way through 'taking charge of your fertility' and hoping it may have some tips...it has enough diagrams

OP posts:
hester · 15/03/2008 22:09

Amazingly, MI, I managed to live through the entire 1980s as a radical feminist without hunting down my cervix with a mirror and a torch.

I did superglue locks in sex shops, though - is my cred still intact?

Original poster
beaniesteve · 13/03/2008 23:35

lol at hester. I spoke to my sister in law and she's never been able to find hers.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 13/03/2008 22:30

So you never did Self Exam workshops then, eh, hester?

Mine is massively prominent but then I suppose my torso doesn't really give it much room to hide modestly away.

hester · 13/03/2008 22:28

Good point, Blu. Perhaps chopsticks splinted to your fingers might do the trick, beanie?

My only other advice is to learn to live with it. It really isn't a very useful part of charting, after all. Personally, I am completely resigned that my cervix and I will never be friends - I think of it as I think my kidneys or my spleen: very grateful it's there somewhere, but no need to make its acquaintance.

Original poster
beaniesteve · 13/03/2008 14:49

I shall as the next person to walk in, maybe it will be someone I have a crush on

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 13/03/2008 14:42

*far up not way up

HairyToe · 13/03/2008 14:41

Are you at work? Perhaps one of your colleagues can give you a hand? Or maybe a close friend?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 13/03/2008 14:40

Could never find mine. Don't care anymore. I know it's there - I forced three kids past it! Was going to use the cap once as a method of contraception but gave up on that idea as my cervix is completely unlocatable by me - way too way up. Smear nurses always comment on my long vag. Once made silly mistake of commenting to one of mine and DH's group of friends that I had a "long vag" which got converted to "big vag" and finally "bucket crutch".. which always seems to get brought up (up not out!) in drunken conversation.

Original poster
beaniesteve · 13/03/2008 14:30

lol.

I'm going to have another look. Will let you know if I have found it.

OP posts:
ChopsTheDuck · 13/03/2008 14:22
Grin
Blu · 13/03/2008 14:19

But Hester - perhaps she has unnaturally short fingers?

Janni · 13/03/2008 13:36

I know I left it round here somewhere...

lilmamma · 13/03/2008 13:35

I was told when i went for a smear,my cervix was deep,i think it was my cervix.could have been my womb..Thing is, i have trouble getting a tampon in,after 4 kids,so dont know how, it is so deep,youd think it would be hanging out by now..im 5 foot 0..

hester · 13/03/2008 13:34

THIN speculum, I meant.

hester · 13/03/2008 13:34

It's the long thing speculum specially for ladies who can't find their cervixes. Always makes me think of that ghastly MP.

Anyway, sometimes cervixes get a bit hidden round corners as well. When I was 15 a doctor told me, "Childbirth will sort you out".

largeginandtonic · 13/03/2008 13:28

I am only 5'3 Beanie

largeginandtonic · 13/03/2008 13:26

Hester i went for a smear last week and the nurse said that to me as she went off to get the other speculum. Nice.

Original poster
beaniesteve · 13/03/2008 13:25

I will try to get it to show itself with a custard cream when I get hom

I want to find it because I want to see if I can see any changes when I start charting etc. Figured it would be useful to find it first

I am only 5 ft 6 My doctors have never had any problem doing a smear except for telling me I have a small cervix, but they may have meant the opening?

OP posts:
ChopsTheDuck · 13/03/2008 13:23

I'm really curious as to why you want to find it!

If you are desperate though, lay on your back and prob your bum up n several cushions then try, it's a lot easier.

hester · 13/03/2008 13:20

[Adopts brisk tone in contrast to girlish levity rising on this thread]. Perfectly normal - I've never found mine! [Whispers] you probably just have a - ahem - long vagina. Particularly likely if you're tall.

Here's a tip; when you go for a smear tell them you need a 'winterton' speculum.

SheherazadetheGoat · 13/03/2008 13:20

Let the cervix blow high,
Let the cervix blow low,
Down the street in my kilt I go
And all the ladies say hello
beaniesteve where's your cervix?

BrightShinySun · 13/03/2008 13:18

hadn't

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 13:18

is there a reward if one of us find it?

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