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Conception

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Original poster

Broody at 43--am I bonkers?

161 replies

Arabica · 19/12/2004 13:48

I had DS when I was 39 (no problems conceiving--got pregnant second month we tried). Until recently, I've felt ambivalent about a second child. But right now am feeling mega-broody!

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Original poster
Arabica · 22/12/2004 12:37

TeaTime, thanks so much for your encouraging message and the very best of luck with your pregnancy. When I had DS, at 39, nobody ever mentioned my age, they were much more interested in my medical history (I have had a couple of bad asthma attacks in the past). And although I found the pregnancy physically exhausting that was mainly because I put on 4st and got so huge, not because I was older (giving in to every food craving I ever had) -- there's no way I would let that happen again.

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TeaTime · 22/12/2004 01:47

Hi Arabica - glad that all these positive messages are giving you confidence. I had ds at 42 (March 2002) and have just found out I'm pregnant again (have been trying for over a year) so will be 46 when s/he arrives (August 2005) !! The first time round NO ONE mentioned my age to my great surprise although occasionally I was given the risk statistics that brought it home. I didn't have any invasive test as 1% chance of miscarriage was still too much for this longed-for baby! We'd have gone ahead whatever the result anyway. Like aloha I had a thorough 20 week scan and they couldn't find anything that looked worrying (even the 11cm fibroid I had by then wasn't a problem!) so I just carried on enjoying being pregnant and everything was fine, natural birth and everything. This time I think we'll go down the same route but as I'm only 5 and a half weeks, I have to get to the end of the first trimester before I can really relax... If it takes a bit longer to conceive this time, don't worry - I'm proof it CAN be done!!

Original poster
Arabica · 21/12/2004 23:21

Thanks to everyone. Have decided to worry about testing when I have to--I'll concentrate on getting pregnant first! So you'll all know when it's happened cos I will be decafArabica!

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FrostyTheSurfMum · 21/12/2004 21:16

I wish I had been at your hospital Aloha. I'd be interested to know what your score was. Mine was 1:148 (if I remember correctly). I felt so pressurised into having the amnio and I just trusted what they were saying to me. Looking back I was given very little information.

tabitha · 21/12/2004 09:40

Arabica,

when I was pregnant with dd3 (aged 40, had her at 41) I asked the consultant about cvs and her opinion was that although she would support my decision if I wanted to go for it, she most definitely wouldn't recommend it on grounds of age only.

aloha · 20/12/2004 23:01

I'm the same age as Frosty, btw. And I wasn't told my results would always be bad because of my age.

aloha · 20/12/2004 23:00

I've had zero pressure to go for amnio or cvs. Quite the opposite in fact. My nuchal fold result was 'good' and I was actually, if anything, slightly persuaded against further invasive testing. I had a very thorough scan at 20 weeks, with a heart specialist etc looking over it, which may have been something to do with my age, but nobody has ever mentioned it to me as a problem of any sort - honestly. I've just had really nice, civilised treatment, I have to say.

Original poster
Arabica · 20/12/2004 22:57

Busymum, would be very interested to know whether you had the same experience as Frosty re amnio testing for downs?

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Tinker · 20/12/2004 19:23

I'm expecting my 2nd and am 40 this time. Agree with Frosty's comments about the big downside is how much emphasis has been put on my age with regard to test results etc. (I wish they could give you the naked results, not adjusted for age). However, otherwise, all has been well. Only downside with any subsequent pregnancy is that you indulge it as you can with your first.

busymum2004 · 20/12/2004 19:20

hi

im nearly 45 years old.

i have 5 children. the oldest is 26, the youngest is 1 year.

i had my 4th baby at 41, and my 5th baby at 43.

i have never regreted having babies again, the only difference is i have more time for them this time around.

my advice to you is to go for it, if you dont you could end up regreting it for the rest of your life.

good luck and take care

madness · 20/12/2004 17:36

at least some of you have more than 2. Sometimes feel I would be "pushing me luck" considering I have already a healthy ds and dd. Especially as we had a bit of a scare with dd, pos nuchal fold, followed by cvs etc.

aloha · 20/12/2004 15:50

Just chuck away the contraception and see what happens then. Oh, go on!

GoldFrankincenseandMerlin · 20/12/2004 15:31

No 2 due in April and I'm 42. Pregnancy has been fine - am slightly worried about coping with a newborn and v. lively 4 year old though!! Sure I will manage - you just have to don't you?!!!!

Original poster
Arabica · 20/12/2004 15:24

I don't think I'm desperate to have another baby--it's more like it would be wonderful if it happened but not the end of the world if it didn't, because I am very happy for DS to be an only child (I have no siblings). That's how we felt before we tried for DS.

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walkinginawelshmumwonderland · 20/12/2004 13:49

I'm on number 2 at 41 - pregnancy going more smoothly than the first time around (fingers crossed)
10 years from now will you really regret that you didn't go for it?

LAMBda · 20/12/2004 13:07

I had mine at 40 and 42 - no problems, no regrets - go for it

lisalisa · 20/12/2004 12:11

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Original poster
Arabica · 20/12/2004 12:06

I am going to think it all over this week and have a good chat with DH. We don't have any money and our flat's too small for one child let alone two, but what the hell.

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biglips · 20/12/2004 11:55

go for it

FrostyTheSurfMum · 20/12/2004 11:54

I had dd at 41. The only time I wished I had been a younger mum was when I had the nuchal fold scan and was told that whatever the measurements were, I would always be within the high risk group "because of my age". The Consultant recommended an amnio for everyone of my age. After much soul searching I went ahead and had the amnio, and everything was fine in the end but I'm not sure I would go through all that again.

Other than that? I don't really think age comes into it.

Kaysleighbells · 20/12/2004 11:54

Arabica, wow you're a year older than me - I also had you down as mid thirties. How do you do it ? Maybe it's only having one child
Seriously you should go for it. It's lovely for your ds to have a sibling too. Then they can fight and argue like my two do

lisalisa · 20/12/2004 11:48

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motherinfestivemood · 20/12/2004 11:45

Another friend of mine had her one and only at 43, too.

aloha · 20/12/2004 11:42

Oh, give it a go! You've nothing to lose but your body, your cash and your freedom

Original poster
Arabica · 20/12/2004 11:38

LOL re Kimberly and Cherie Aloha! I'm not sure they're my idea of role models... Had dinner last night with 2 friends and their tiny babies and came home feeling even more broody, even when they puked on me (the babies, not the friends).

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