Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after ectopic/after loss/older age etc ALL WELCOME 🙂

881 replies

YellowZ · 11/11/2023 17:25

Hello,

Would anyone like to join a thread for TTC after ectopic/miscarriage, or when facing other challenges eg age, PCOS etc? DP and I have just decided to try again for no2, and I'm going to come off the pill. It would be nice to have some buddies to share experiences and support each other 🙂

About me:

Pregnancy 1: conceived first cycle age 35, healthy pregnancy, DS born summer 2021 (now age 2)

Pregnancy 2: conceived first cycle age 37, ectopic, surgery November 2022

My plan is to eat well, exercise, cut out alcohol, and generally look after myself.

Because I got pregnant quickly both times, I'm hoping our chances are still good...no idea how only having the one fallopian tube is going to affect things 😬

I think I'll do OPKs but not sure about temping yet.

Would love to hear from others!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
75
Stategigi · 20/12/2023 00:14

Thank you @YellowZ and @lemonyfox Do you remember what your HCG levels and mass/cell/embryo size were for your 3 ectopic pregnancies?
UCLH don't offer the drug as they say they are an evidence based hospital and it hasn't been shown to work strongly in one way or the other. I think they feel the HCG can rise, then plateaus and the body can sort it out itself. My consultant said in 20 years she'd seen only 3 ruptures. She said often the bleed can come out the end of the fallopian tube so you can have a change of symptoms and go straight in for check up. (I've only heard of ruptures.)

@YellowZ It was news to me on Monday however that my tube will be damaged regardless and the mass could remain after 3 months. I did flag to her, what's the point if you end up having another ectopic or needing surgery. Again they say it's patient lead and I can have surgery but usually it's good to avoid if you can as surgery comes with it's own risks. They feel my EP is early...
It's making me think why go through all this and still end up needing a surgery or a guaranteed blocked / damaged tube with future issues? Or nip it in bud and get on with life.

I also don't understand why they won't scan me every time I go in for bloods (I invited on it Monday and that's when we learnt it grew 4mm) - surely you'd want to track the growth and that feels a fair additional monitoring for what is quite a psychologically traumatic treatment option to try to stick with.

I'm so sorry for my long messages, I don't know how to get it out succinctly atm. I really hope everyone on this chat is keeping positive on their fertility journeys. My colleagues sister had an EP and IVF and ended up have a baby naturally, so another positive story x

Nic2908 · 19/12/2023 23:02

@Bumblesbee84 hi, thanks for checking in. I have given up this month. I got to day 24 no ovulation and no positive test. So I’ve decided to just let it be this month and crack on with the next cycle.

MrsB2019x · 19/12/2023 20:42

@Stategigi So sorry to hear what you’re going through, I’m really shocked that your hospital don’t offer methotrexate. Is there another fairly local hospital who you can transfer your care to?

@YellowZ How you getting on? I’m 6DPO today and the symptom spotting has started 🙈

lemonyfox · 19/12/2023 20:20

@Stategigi so are they saying your only two options are expectant management or surgery? NICE guidelines are that methotrexate is routinely offered if HCG levels are below 5,000. The earlier you have it, the better the outcome.

I've had 3 ectopics and didn't have expectant management for either of mine, so I might not be the best person to ask, but based on your HCG and cell growth I'm not sure why they're advising a wait and see approach!

Hopefully you get this all resolved soon, we can all sympathise with how emotional and frustrating the experience is.

Original poster
YellowZ · 19/12/2023 20:15

Also just to add, I didn't mean to worry you more with the idea of a repeat ectopic - just thought it might be worth asking a Dr if TTC is less risky with only the 1 tube? x

OP posts:
Original poster
YellowZ · 19/12/2023 20:10

Hey @Stategigi welcome 🙂 sorry you're going through this. Sounds like a nightmare.

Do you have any risk factors that would make adverse outcomes from surgery more likely? I'm surprised that surgery has been presented as a last resort while your HCG is going up and you're bleeding. Having said that @lemonyfox had a similar experience I think (hope you don't mind the tag Lemony and that you're doing OK).

I've had the surgery, and while it does slightly reduce your chance of conceiving, I think if the tube remains and there is scarring etc there's a higher chance of a second ectopic in the same location? Worth asking the hospital about perhaps.

Hope it's resolved soon for you! It's horrible knowing something is wrong and having to wait.

OP posts:
Stategigi · 19/12/2023 19:45

Hi @YellowZ - thanks for finding me on the other board and inviting me to this chat - I'd love to join.

My circumstances: 1st TTC November, became pregnant. Am now in week 6wk+2days and it's ectopic. Expectant Management is happening, HCG gone up Friday to Monday (now 594) and cells grew 8mm to 12mm. More bloods tomorrow and Friday. Have some symptoms, went to A&E Friday evening for fear pain was suggesting imminent rupture. (I hadn't). UCLH don't offer Methotrexate and suggest surgery should be last case scenario. Less throbbing today, with intermittent throbs/pangs and bleeding seems to have paused. It's hell, with double whammy of cancelling our Christmas trip and rest of my family being stuck on the other side of the world, also unable to enjoy their Christmas, being desperate for out situation.

I know this is a chat about TTC and is useful for me to understand the viabilities after all treatments for EPs (particularly as I'm nearly 38 and also just told a fibroid type 0 has moved into uterine cavity). So appreciated! I just wondered if anyone had positive expectant management stories with details on their bloods and management (offered scans each time?) and even any warning signals. Sorry for long message! This really is a mental mine-field and I'm so sorry for any of you who have had to endure it xxx

Bumblesbee84 · 19/12/2023 11:53

@YellowZ sleep deprivation is so hard, my DS was up at 5 and is still up in the night sometimes (and in our bed!) too. Definitely makes dealing with things and thought processes a little bit tougher. Sending solidarity your way x

Original poster
YellowZ · 19/12/2023 08:55

@Bumblesbee84 you definitely deserve some recovery time (and recovery treats).

Woken up feeling a bit meh about the whole thing and like it'll probably be a BFN this month as well. Although that might be because DS was awake between 12-1am and then came into our bed at 5.30, sleep deprivation doesn't help my mood.

OP posts:
Annonomous29 · 18/12/2023 22:06

Bumblesbee84 · 18/12/2023 20:27

@YellowZ @CatCaretaker loving the Christmas snacking planning! I've completely fallen off the wagon, been eating all the cheese and all the Christmas treats and had wine/fizz a few nights in a row... I'll call it medicinal, that's my excuse!
@Annonomous29 I'm trying to do the relaxed approach too... we can do this...possibly 😅
@Nic2908 how are you doing? Any sign of ovulation?
My spotting had really tapered off and seen a little bit of EWCM so hoping ovulation might not be far away. Who knows though

@Bumblesbee84 Yep sure we can… we aint being overly optimistic are we??? 😂

Bumblesbee84 · 18/12/2023 20:27

@YellowZ @CatCaretaker loving the Christmas snacking planning! I've completely fallen off the wagon, been eating all the cheese and all the Christmas treats and had wine/fizz a few nights in a row... I'll call it medicinal, that's my excuse!
@Annonomous29 I'm trying to do the relaxed approach too... we can do this...possibly 😅
@Nic2908 how are you doing? Any sign of ovulation?
My spotting had really tapered off and seen a little bit of EWCM so hoping ovulation might not be far away. Who knows though

Original poster
YellowZ · 18/12/2023 19:21

I haven't had milk tray in years! My last day at work is Weds, so I'm going to pop to Sainsbury's on Friday while DS is in nursery and get a lot of fun treats 😋 I've only had one mince pie so far!

OP posts:
CatCaretaker · 18/12/2023 18:06

Sounds like a plan! DP has taken to buying Milk Tray at the moment because they're reduced and we're allowed 'because it's Christmas'.

Original poster
YellowZ · 18/12/2023 17:50

@CatCaretaker mmmm cheese. I've been really careful for the last few months with what I've been eating (lost some weight) so it's kind of a shame not to be able to go a bit wild at Christmas. Maybe I'll just eat allll of the quality street.

OP posts:
CatCaretaker · 18/12/2023 08:18

Christmas wine (and soft cheese, and coffee) is definitely an upside!

Good luck both of you, keep us updated 🙂

Annonomous29 · 17/12/2023 20:46

YellowZ · 17/12/2023 20:00

@CatCaretaker @MrsB2019x the addiction is real isn't it!! It's like having a gambling addiction... I bet it does a similar thing to your brain. I actually considered an OPK as well. Urgh!

Sorry AF is here - but at least you're on to a fresh start 🙂 I'd definitely rather AF arrive if I'm getting BFNs. Also does that mean you can have lots of wine at Christmas? That's definitely an upside.

@Annonomous29 you definitely have the right attitude 🙂 I was thinking I might not do OPKs next cycle, but then I get scared about not knowing what is "going on" (even though that's daft as the most likely thing is I'll ovulate and if I don't I can't change that anyway)

@YellowZ soo true but im trying to avoid buying them if I don’t have them cant do them is the attitude only god knows how long i will survive tho

Original poster
YellowZ · 17/12/2023 20:00

@CatCaretaker @MrsB2019x the addiction is real isn't it!! It's like having a gambling addiction... I bet it does a similar thing to your brain. I actually considered an OPK as well. Urgh!

Sorry AF is here - but at least you're on to a fresh start 🙂 I'd definitely rather AF arrive if I'm getting BFNs. Also does that mean you can have lots of wine at Christmas? That's definitely an upside.

@Annonomous29 you definitely have the right attitude 🙂 I was thinking I might not do OPKs next cycle, but then I get scared about not knowing what is "going on" (even though that's daft as the most likely thing is I'll ovulate and if I don't I can't change that anyway)

OP posts:
Annonomous29 · 17/12/2023 19:47

Hey 👋 ladies hope everyone is well. I am currently on cd 8 but decided i will not do these opk tests and all as it just stresses me way beyond needed just will let nature do its thing without me fussing lol but need to see how long that will last 😂i have also decided to just chill with ttc if it happens it happens if not no biggie having said that i do check on the app every now and then to see when i maybe ovulating lol

MrsB2019x · 17/12/2023 19:38

Sorry AF arrived @CatCaretaker ☹️

@YellowZ I’m 4dpo today so we’re very similar. The temptation to POAS is real 😂 I did an ovulation test yesterday just to get it out of my system!

CatCaretaker · 17/12/2023 19:20

Yes that's a good idea, can't can too mad with the tests if you don't have any! Fingers frosted for you though, at least uou should know either way by Christmas.

AF has now arrived, which is for best I suppose. Can start afresh now.

Original poster
YellowZ · 17/12/2023 19:16

Urgh @CatCaretaker that's annoying. I mean if your AF is going to come it should really just hurry up and get it done with!

I'm not too bad thanks. I'm 3dpo so no news. Just cruising along. Hoping I won't go quite as mental with the testing this month. I can already feel the temptation looming ha ha! I don't have any early tests in the house and I was thinking it might be best to keep it that way for as long as possible before Christmas.

OP posts:
CatCaretaker · 17/12/2023 17:21

How's everyone doing?

15DPO here, no AF yet, but spotting. BFN at 13DPO. Body just not cooperating 🙄.

Nic2908 · 14/12/2023 03:46

@lemonyfox thinking of you. I hope recovery is smooth for you xx

Original poster
YellowZ · 13/12/2023 19:36

Hey @lemonyfox glad you're ok. Physically anyway. Look after yourself 🙂glad you finally got the operation, what a relief. Although also something of a downer overall, I imagine.

@MrsB2019x 😂fair enough.

I'll definitely be getting myself a bottle of prosecco if AF arrives on the 29th.

I've told DP if we dtd 1 more time tomorrow then we've done "perfect" fertile week sex... He's competitive so he'll definitely want to do perfect sex hehe. We'll have dtd on ovulation day, the day before, 2 days before and 4 days before. (That's if today was peak lh - I'm thinking it might be, but I'll see what the test says in the morning).

OP posts:
lemonyfox · 13/12/2023 18:27

Thanks everyone for checking in. I had my remaining tube taken out yesterday, I'm home now and recovering well 😊