2023 TTC 35+ Part 6

Hi all. So I've had quite a rubbish few days. Had my second period since surgical management for my MMC and it was lighter than they used to be pre-surgery. Not as crampy but some odd on-off pain. So I've gone down a complete spiral and worried maybe the surgery has scared or damaged me. I've seen posts on here about ashermans but everyone mentions the same doctor in London which is so far to go so just feeling like things are a bit of a mess right now. Sorry for the downer, really struggling

@Bumblebee413 I totally get that. Adoption would be quite a leap, at this stage as you say you haven’t been trying that long? I do find talking to my GP quite encouraging as she says it is totally normal for it to take up to a year… and beyond. I hope your bfp is right around the corner xx

Hope that you have all of the chocolate @worldwidetravel2017. You’re doing an amazing job getting yourself ready to be a Mum x

I’m sorry @CurlyWurly1991, that must be really confusing. Flipping AF- forever finding new ways to taunt us.

What we would do if we struggled to conceive this time came up with us a few weeks ago. DH has read an article on the disparities between IVF clinics, the treatments they push without a solid evidence base and the overall success and expense of it all and he announced that rather than ‘waste years of our lives and thousands of pounds we don’t have’ on IVF, he would prefer to go straight to adoption rather than waiting years for our family to be complete.

He, like I do occasionally, will quite often make statements that feel very finite, but when you examine them later are more spur of the moment things. I didn’t really say much at the time because in all honesty I mainly couldn’t be bothered to have a hypothetical at that point conversation and it was one of those conversations that start late at night and should never actually be discussed at that time.

But also because it felt like he’d just written us off having another biological child when we’ve only been trying 8 months, but realistically 3. I’m not averse to adoption, it’s always been something that we have considered. However, we never actually got round to trying with my daughter and it was a shit time to be pregnant and a shit time to be a new Mum. I’ve been obsessed with pregnancy and birth my whole life and I would really, really like to experience a pregnancy without Covid in the background or mat leave meet ups in pouring rain because we couldn’t meet inside for example and I just want another chance.

I don’t mean to sound greedy. I am eternally grateful for my child and actually, if she is our only biological child I will be ok with that. But I just felt written off before we’ve even been TTC in the same country… So, I really get that urge, it isn’t an easy thing to let go of once you experience it. I call it an urge but I think I mean hope.

Period started today here.
Was craving chocolates and cheese burgers etc.

Periods / bleeding only light atm
For 28 ish day cycle was due this weekend though

I really hope we concieve this cycle or next

Really wana be a Mum :)

Spend the wkend with friends - they have a 3yo & the little ones mum is 32 weeks pregnant

@Bumblebee413 good to see you back ! I wish you the best for your efforts this cycle now that your DP is back!! It must be an adjustment from when he is away?

Thank you about my tests - I haven’t booked back in with the GP again but should probably do that.

AF arrived for me today - early! Gutted is an understatement. I was feeling quite different around 10dpo and started to believe it might have happened this cycle. Few different symptoms to usual. Then I started spotting at 10dpo and my period has started today 12dpo. Can’t believe it as my LP is usually 13 days long so I’ve lost 2 days this cycle. Can’t have ovulated earlier as I had a positive Opk and temps and RHR to confirm. Puzzling and I hope it is a one off.

I have sometimes felt ambivalent about TTC#2 and said I wouldn’t do much more in terms of intervention. However I’m starting to really want it to happen. I suppose I am feeling more urgency now that I know, 6 months in, that without some further efforts we might not conceive. I’m 37 and set myself a year when I started TTC around my birthday, but I don’t know if I would just stop. It’s so hard to stop thinking about once you’ve set your mind on it.

Hello everyone,

That took awhile to catch up! Welcome to the newbies! I’m 35, TTC our second and we’ve been ‘trying’ for 8 months now. However my DH has been working abroad for the last year for six weeks at a time then home for two. As you can imagine, that has definitely made catching fertile days pretty tricky and if I’m completely honest I think we’ve only really had 2/3 cycles where we might have stood a chance.

We have had a crazy stressful four years and I had mild antenatal and postnatal depression last time, following an unplanned pregnancy discovered the week before lockdown was announced. I’ve spent the last year taking my vitamins, losing a (little) weight and getting counselling and coaching through work and I’m honestly feeling more ‘me’ than I have in years.

My DH is home in 6 days and we are all so excited and ready for this. It’s been a long year! I’m looking forward to actually TTC like a normal person for a bit. We’ve decided that if nothing happens then we’ll go see the GP in February but we’re trying to just take things easy at present and work on taking pressure off us.

Those who know me on here know that I claim to be super chilled and then obsess over being pregnant every month whilst going ‘Oh my goodness, I am crazy after all, what a complete surprise to me!!’ 😂 I’m CD 34 and awaiting AF any day now.

How are things going with you @SnookyPook? I am so sorry for the incredibly tough year you’ve had. Sending you a lot of love x

@JustTrying1 what a lovely place to have reached with your partner- it speaks volumes about you both and the strength of your relationship xxx

@FigandHoney bit of a rollercoaster month! Hope that you are able to get the tests and the reassurance you need from then. Or a baby this month, that would obviously be the winner 🤞🏼🤞🏼

@CurlyWurly1991 I agree with you about the tests confirming that you ovulated (with no qualifications to back that) as it seems reasonable right? Glad that it’s being looked into and hope that you get some answers.

@VixFromThe6ix please keep updating us. I’m really happy for you guys and it’s been a privilege being on the TTC journey with you.

@worldwidetravel2017 and @Khanga27, sending lots of love for the counselling- well done for making such a positive decision for you. @Khanga27 I hope that you get some answers soon x

My bbt shot up quite a bit today and the opks are still negative. So I am feeling a bit more confident that I did in fact ovulate. Just not entirely sure when.
I am going with the day before my migraine since I usually get one when my hormones shift.

@Supertrooper101 it can vary with your bbt. And can be difficult to pin down the exact date. Do you use opks as well it helps narrow it down.
I usually see the temp rise the day after my positive opk.
But it can take up to 36 hours for you to ovulate after your first positive opk. And up to 3 days to reflect in your bbt.
Just depends on your body and that specific cycle.
You also need at least 3 higher temperatures to confirm ovulation. So you will never know immediately the day after ovulation for sure.
Do you use fertility friend? It has some good information.

@worldwidetravel2017 The counselling seems to be really helpful. I am so glad it's helping you focus on the positives. I need to do that more myself

For those that temp, do you get the temp spike the day after ovulation, or 2 3 days after? Google gives no clear answer at all as usual lol

Wise words @worldwidetravel2017

Had my first ( recent) counselling this week

Really trying to enjoy the little things

☆ it was sunny this am

☆ Enjoyed fried eggs on toast 4 b'fast - lifes simple pleasures

☆ looking forward to a weekend stayin @ my partners best mates

☆ sold some more things on vinted

☆ once a foodie - always a foodie - took a liking to asdas own brand chicken noodle soup - looking forward to that 4 late lunch..

Trying to look @ the little wins..

Equally - not been told any ct scan results yet - still having investigations etc
Have a consultant call this month re a condition i have.
Also - if i dont get preg from nov ovulation - we will try - if / when know im def not preg - meant to have another colonoscopy

Lots going on

Managed to lose a few pounds

Females = menna drink way more liquid a day than i do - trying to drink more water and squash and snack less

Make sure you take time @ the weekend to do things that bring you joy folks

Relax @Cressie2 cuz dont wana try too hard
After my early miscarriage in sept - gynae told me to relax

Thank you @CurlyWurly1991 @FigandHoney and @worldwidetravel2017, I’m 35 and think that’s great advice- I’ll buy some Coq10 now and hopefully next month will be better.

Re the clothes, I’d say buy for your size now and enjoy looking fab before we all end up with big bumps for the next 9 months! Got to have a pick me up now and again. Also, never thought I would say this but how good is M&S at the moment? Their velvet jackets for Christmas? Yes please.

@FigandHoney I am hoping not a chemical tbh as its so soon after my MMC and would suggest I have a problem longer term. My DP did say that at the end of the 3 minutes he couldn't see anything on any of them and it was only after another 5 minutes when we relooked back that something really came up. I did find for pics there was nothing initially in images and was just a shadow in person, but then a couple of mins later there was. This was the boots straight after the 3 min wait. I think perhaps so soon after the MMC I was fooling myself as something came up not too long after the end of my timer so wondered if I was borderline?! My heads been a mess after the MMC journey.

Will be good when my counselling starts at end of the month

Hopefully theyll ' let ' you see results on NHS app

@worldwidetravel2017 Yes. Those were all included in tge bloodiest that was deemed "normal" and that I don't have access too.
I sm tempted to get that hertility health bloodiest if it hasn't happened in a couple of months.
I also have private health insurance through work but I don't think it covers these things. And I would need a HP referral first anyway

Def sounds frustrating @FigandHoney

I know im a bit of a broken record but did u also askfor vit d n b12 checked?

Also with wanting to concieve - if you havent had a full blood count this year - you could definitely ask 4 that as part of health mot / wanting to concieve

@worldwidetravel2017 Yes. That was one of the things they checked this week.
They said it's normal.
But I can't see the results under the NHS App. I have requested access on their online system and in person. So far I have had no response. So I need to keep pushing. It's frustrating

Regarding the heavy periods - have you had your feretin checked? I think we maybe talked about this before.

3 cycles in is pretty early so it may just be time

Blood tests should definitely show on nhs app -

@worldwidetravel2017 Yes. I am just going to assume I ovulated. But still testing with opks just in case there is a second LH surge. Wouldn't want to miss it.
So far we are only on our 3rd cycle ttc our second baby. It took 1 1/2 years to get pregnant with my son. And I literally had no CP or miscarriage in that time.
So I am aware we are still very early in this process.
Last time I did start getting tests done and everything came back "normal" although I never got to see any of the results.
I have requested bloodworm and an ultrasound fairly recently because of fatigue and very heavy periods.
The HP again said everything is normal.
I requested to see the results. They have not yet stated the bloodworm. But they did send me the findings of the ultrasound. It stated that my "myometrium appears heterogenous. However, no obvious
fibroid seen. The endometrium measures approximately 8mm and shows a heterogenous echotexture". This had me worried so I pushed further but they just reiterated that "the scan shows nothing that requires further investigations or treatment". So I sm unsure if I should keep pushing. I don't like what Google has to say about it

Thanks @FigandHoney and @worldwidetravel2017 re the clothes.
I’ve had some bad experiences with vinted lately - stuff got lost in post - refunded but disappointing. Happened twice as a seller and buyer.
@FigandHoney good point about mat clothes. I remember buying a few things with my daughter but those are mostly gone (10 years ago!) although one nice dress I lent a friend.
I know there are lots of costs that will come… hence not wanting to spend on clothes now that only be good for a few weeks or months. I guess it’s like many things - booking holidays etc when not sure when you might conceive. Can be really hard to put your life on hold. I guess I can always sell stuff if I do fall pregnant and that’ll be the least of my worries anyway 😜

Im pretty sure you ovulated
We werent sure if i was ovulating but then concieved and had early miscarriage
It can take 9 - 12 months for over 35s

How long have u been trying ? & have you disccussed with dr ?

Clothes wise - ive been using vinted

Hey -
Asked with care & obviously can be ignored but dya mind me asking how old you are ? Have you tried coq10 to improve egg quality?
Have you read it starts with an egg ?
It can take up to a year for over 35s.
A dr told me best thing i could do to help was lose some weight - & that's even tho we concieved the 2nd cycle trying but was then early miscarriage

Be kind to youself