2023 TTC 35+ Part 6

@worldwidetravel2017 fingers crossed for you, hope you're not waiting too long for your liver results.

@Mrsspoon3 thank you, part of me keeps thinking I should test again as nothing is happening but the realistic part of me knows that 2 negative tests and 1 with a barely visible line all in 1 day won't be wrong. Sorry to hear you've had this last month, hopefully you get your break soon.

@RoseH36 @FiddleLeaf @JC084 So sorry to read your updates. I hope you’re all doing ok. I had the same thing happen last cycle and it’s so incredibly hard. Sending a virtual hug and hope you’re feeling ok x

Thanks so much for sending that @FigandHoney! That made me feel so much better! 😊

Thank you.
I should have some answers re my liver at least v soon

Thank you

@worldwidetravel2017 it sounds like you've got a lot going on at the moment. Hope you get some answers soon.

@Khanga27 it's always so hard when others are due when you would have been. I had the same with my last CP, a woman in my choir told me she was a few weeks pregnant literally as I was going through my CP. As daft as it sounds I changed choirs as I couldn't bear to stay there watching her pregnancy develop. She knew what I'd been through and still talked about hers every week for the few weeks before I decided to quit.

@worldwidetravel2017 I’m sorry to read your struggles and tests you have needed. I’m really hoping you get answers soon

@RoseH36 I’m sorry you’ve gone through similar. It’s hard, and I have 2 friends due same month I would have been which will be hard too.

@Bumblebee413 hope you are feeling better today.

I had some light pink creamy discharge start not long after my post yesterday, which suggests to me period is coming - telling myself that saves us some money on replacing pregnancy tests this month (I know, rubbish silver lining, but just need anything to make it easier). It’s actually eased off a little today and there’s nothing on the pads I’ve used since it’s started but it’s just a matter of time.

Colonoscopy preparation starts at 2pm today.
Just white bread
White pasta
Plain rich tea biscuits
Tuna
Custard
Eggs.

Can eat normally from tuesdsy evening

Had a colonoscopy already this yr so know what to expect

Sending baby making luck to all ♡

Have a nice Sunday all

Im guna see my nana later - shes in a care home with dementia and serious heart issues

Im guna have plaij chicken with no skin and mash potato 4 lunch
( not allowed veg due to fibre// colonoscopy prep )

@Cressie2 stay positive, there's no reason at all for yours not to work out.

@SnookyPook I hope so, surely we deserve a break now.

@Bumblebee413 you never need to apologise or ask for forgiveness. TTC is the hardest journey and it feels like a never ending rollercoaster of emotions. We all have days that are better than others. Hoping you're feeling a bit better today.

@Khanga27 I'm glad you're opening up about your mmc. It hits you when you least expect it. Getting past your due date will be a hard one, I found that day quite challenging. I'm hoping Christmas won't throw up emotions as that was when we told family we were expecting last year before things went wrong in January (we had announced it early about 9 weeks) but I do feel it will be on my mind.

I've had quite a bit of discomfort in my lower back over the last couple of hours although it's eased off now so hoping this is the start of it then I can move on. Hope you other ladies are doing ok.

Thank you @Khanga27, it’s amazing how much this space can help sometimes. That and sleep. Yesterday was a weird day.

I’m so pleased that the counselling has helped and glad that you landed on a plan to look after yourself best this cycle x

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for those of you in the period of testing that you do get stronger lines, and I’m really sorry to have read of the horrible couple of days you’ve had with testing.

I’ve been a bit more quiet on here as after last month I recognised I had some unresolved emotions with my mmc, which I’ve now had my first counselling session for - it helped so much to just confront what happened and actually just have the time to feel sad instead of bottling my emotions up.

We decided for this month to still try and track ovulation for best chance (just tests and keeping an eye on CM), but early tests were banned as they got me so stressed. I’m now 11dpo and my period is due Tuesday/wednesday. I’m actually away when it’s due to start so will need to take some supplies. It’s very hard not to read into every symptom and think it’s different to a normal cycle but just been trying to keep busy to keep mind off it. I hope I find it easier this month when AF comes when I haven’t done tests beforehand but we will see.

@Bumblebee413 I’m sorry you’ve been struggling as well. Hope you are okay. It’s a tricky journey, TTC, with all the various bits to monitor. It does help to offload in a safe space where people understand.

My goodness ladies 😞 I’m so sorry- what a rubbish few days.

I feel like I’ve lost the plot super early in the cycle this time! I’m CD 19 and very confused about whether I’ve ovulated or even if I will this cycle. I’ve gone very fatalistic from optimistic literally overnight. I’ve had a few darker lines the last few days, but nothing that I would say is equal to the control or stronger and no EWCM at all.

I can’t move past the emphasis the ‘Don’t tell me to relax’ podcast put on CM rather that OPKs, particularly as there doesn’t seem to be any of that this cycle. Yesterday I just started to wonder if actually my body is done. If for whatever reason we just won’t manage another biological baby and by bedtime that just felt like such a ‘done deal’. Almost like I can’t imagine it actually working.

It doesn’t feel like my hormones are right. I’ve had the most incredible ‘down’ all day, which just doesn’t fit with Oestrogen peaking. Yesterday when I thought I was ovulating I just couldn’t summon the energy to even consider DTD. It just felt hopeless, rather than the only point of the cycle I actually had be any control over. Crappy timing!

I’m posting here asking for the forgiveness of those of you who are experiencing real, actual problems, suffering CPs and getting over losses and/or experiencing prolonged infertility. I think this is just a down day, but it’s been a bit of a rubbish one and I just don’t know that I can talk it through IRL. Thank you again for providing a space to offload and help clear my mind.

Sending love and baby dust to you all xxx

Thanks everyone.
Hoping we all get some good news 🙂

@SnookyPook thank you. I really appreciate your kind words. I so hope the next few months work out for you and a pregnancy sticks for you too.

I’ve been following your journey and think you are the strongest woman. 💕

@Cressie2 it's so hard not to be influenced by what we hear but every journey is unique and there is no reason that your pregnancy shouldn't progress. It's such an anxious and superstitious time around early pregnancy isn't it. After the year I've had, I've got quite fatalistic now and think, the right one will stick no matter what. So hopefully this is your sticky one 🤞🏻💕

It is weird. Hopefully brighter days ahead for all of us @RoseH36

@JC084 You’re not out yet, hopefully tomorrows tests will bring good news.

I’m feeling rather wobbly now as was so excited to finally have faint lines this morning and see my husband’s face light up and get excited. Now very worried that I too will have a chemical/lose it in the next few weeks.

Hope all the rest of you are having a lovely weekend and praying for some positive news on here soon 🩷

@SnookyPook thank you. I'm blaming the full moon, so weird that the 3 of us are going through it at exactly the same time.

@RoseH36 @FiddleLeaf @JC084 so sorry to hear that you're all out - JC hopefully there is still a chance 🤞🏻It really is just rubbish and so disheartening. Sending massive hugs all round. 💕

@JC084 it really is. I know it will have been a lot more diluted when I tested last night but to not even have a faint line I know I must be out. Last time I had a CP I didn't blend until 10 days after I'd had my positive so hoping it doesn't take as long. I'd had a really dark line on my first test and never tested again after that so don't actually know when it went negative.

@Khanga27 thank you. Kicking myself for doing it earlier 😅 though hadn't drank much and it wasn't too long after my FMU but I know I should have been more patient. Hindsight eh 😅
I've ordered more wondfos from Amazon and will try to stop obsessing 🙈

@JC084 def wait for a FMU especially with a digital test - from my experience and talking to people as well they are nowhere near as sensitive. And at 14dpo def just use FMU.

@RoseH36 heartbreaking isn't it. I know I'm not out yet, and I think cb digitals take longer to detect pregnancy (am I right?) so maybe I'm not out just yet ... but I was so hopeful for a darker line today ... not this 😢
I know at my age it's going to be a lot harder (im 40 in Jan) but i thought when I saw the line this week I'd have better luck this time round

Oh @JC084 not you too 😪 can't believe 3 of us are all in this same position at the exact same time.

@FiddleLeaf sorry to hear. Similar for me. I just did a cb digital and got 'not pregnant'.
I think it must have been a chemical. Gutted. Will try again in a couple of days if AF hasn't appeared, but I think I'm most likely out this month

Will do - thank you

I know aside from liver concerns
They r concerned re
Upper abdominal retro per-something nodes.. ( the number of them) ...

Many people have colonoscopy & gastroscopies same day

My colonoscopy is tues pm

Consultant rang & was guna do both same day

But now theyve back tracked and said gastroscopy thurs early am..

You cant eat or drink 4 6 hrs b4 gastroscopy...
So thurs am is kinder 2 me.
& if they are expecting bad stuff found due 2 ct scan findings - i guess longer appt

No so nervous re colonoscopy procedure as had 1 in May this yr

The prep is horrendous though..

& consultant told me if - if - what he took out in may 2023 has grown back - i have an even bigger problem/ concern re there

Meh

Saw a mate 4 2 hrs yesterday eve.

Its sunny today :) - little things

Private mri liver results within 3 working days

Nhs gp phone appt early thurs am.

Private company had private mri through have a 15 min results appt too - dunno how i feel about someone i dont know telling me if my left lobe of liver high density mass is cancer or not on a video call tho..

At least NHS gp i have a rapport with