Cd1 of ttc first cycle after loss... anyone want to join me? 🙂

@ThelastRolo20 getting some easy at home tests is a good idea for comparison! Let us know how you get on with them 😊

@CluelessInLondon it has definitely got easier for me each cycle, it’s still sad but I’m just trying to trust my body ❤️‍🩹

@Oxalis00 Hope your opks get darker soon 🤞 If I don’t get a bfp this cycle I’m going to try get a doctors appointment next month as I really want my progesterone checked too!

I've bought some easy at home ovulation steps to compare to one step. I'm having loads of EWCM the last few days and boobs are sore so I'm convinced something must be happening! We had sex Sunday and will do tomorrow just in case - will be interesting to compare tests tomorrow

@Oxalis00 no progress for me either. Will just have to see what tomorrow brings but if nothing by the end of the week I'll stop testing and will just wait for AF

Still no progress on OPKs here either @ThelastRolo20 - back down to 0.19 this afternoon. DH goes away for the rest of the week tomorrow, so late ovulation does me no good, but I’m more worried that I won’t ovulate at all. Have 21 day progesterone test this month, so at least that will hopefully give doc something to help with - though this has never been a problem before!

Thank you @SunSparkle @Haylsttc @Bali200 - I'm really hoping that this first cycle was the worst and I won't find it quite as hard to deal with if it doesn't happen for me next time round.

I’m really sorry @CluelessInLondon, sending lots of love your way. Like others have said, we all understand the feelings that you’re feeling right now and hoped that we would be the ones to fall pregnant the first try after a mc.

It’s really really tough ttc after loss, I know that I personally used ttc as a coping mechanism and when AF arrived it felt like I was grieving the loss all over again.

I hope you have lots of chocolate/wine on hand and can binge watch some crappy telly x

@ThelastRolo20 if it’s helps my tests were looking like that for a few months and I kept giving up and stopped testing as it turned out I just ovulate really late. Keep trying and maybe it’s late ovulation. Fingers crossed for you.

@Haylsttc thank you - I've only tracked one cycle before so I'm only going off of that. Hopefully in the next couple days - literally couldn't be blanker right now

@CluelessInLondon I completely understand and feel those feelings too ❤️ I found it very hard to overcome that I didn’t fall pregnant again in the first few months after my miscarriage. Sending you lots of love!

@ThelastRolo20 I’ve debated bringing the ovulation stuff to work at times too but haven’t actually done it, needs must though 😂 hopefully they will get darker for you in the coming days! I ovulated later last cycle, no idea why but it felt like I was waiting an eternity but it still happened so keep going 🫶

@Ladyinpink1 I’m trying to be as optimistic as possible this cycle, fingers crossed for us both🤞 I always say I will wait until after my AF is due but I usually end up caving and testing the day before 😂 when will you test?

@CluelessInLondon everything you've explained about how youre feeling is completely valid. Sending you tons of hugs. The disappointment you're feeling is so real.

Yep. Completely blank 😔 let's see what CD16 brings!

@Oxalis00 @Bugdem123 it's a small office with one female toilet near me so I have to scurry there with everything hidden in my scarf, to see if it's even free 😂 utterly ridiculous and it will still be blank 🤦‍♀️

@ThelastRolo20 @Oxalis00 @Bugdem123 @Ladyinpink1 Thank you so much for the lovely messages, they have made me feel very seen and understood at a low point and I really appreciate it. ❤

@Oxalis00 @ThelastRolo20 Fingers crossed for positive OPKs for you both soon!

@CluelessInLondon aw no, I'm so sorry! I can really relate, when my period started last week and I was devastated. Like you, I'd held on to hope that I'd be one of those people who conceived on their first go after the MC and was so gutted that it hadn't worked out. This time of year just amplifies everything especially when you had an idea in your head of how things would be. I hope you can find the time over the next few days for some good self care - chocolate, blankets and a crap movie are good, and I so hope the next cycle is the one for you.

@ThelastRolo20 this has made me feel so much better as I'm in the office next week when I think I'll get my peak and was planning how I could do this 😂

@CluelessInLondon I’m sorry, it is totally rubbish 😕 We’ve all been there with the expectation and disappointment. And Christmas does bring an extra layer of significance - that sense of ‘family’ time is so pronounced, of course you’ll be feeling the gap between what is and what could have been. It’s ok to feel sad. You can look for positives another day. Hugs.

@ThelastRolo20 Mine was 0.38 (according to PreMom) this morning, so still middling and inconclusive. Previously I’ve had peaks first thing (8am-ish) so who knows. I will also be POAS at work this afternoon! But I’ve run out of easy@home so if you hear someone swearing at the slippery little one step in the cubicle next to you, that’s me…!

@CluelessInLondon I totally understand and so sorry AF arrived. I felt the same with my period after MC, I was convinced I'd conceive straight away. I'm also mentally gearing myself up for this month not being the one by trying to think of the positives of enjoying a drink and a lot of cheese over the festive period.

It's totally okay to feel rubbish and I hope the next month is the one xx

@ThelastRolo20 Don't worry, I do that too, so there's at least two of us doing our OPKs in the office!

Definitely AF for me now, spotting turned into full flow overnight. 😔I'm absolutely gutted - I was trying not to get sucked in by all of the stories you read about people getting pregnant on the first try after MC, but I think the combination of it being the first go after a loss and the last opportunity to be pregnant before Christmas has just hit me really hard, and it almost feels like experiencing a loss all over again. I'm trying to see the positives in it - I can eat and drink whatever I want over Christmas, and maybe now I've got through that first cycle I'll be able to relax a bit more - but at the moment it's quite hard to take because it means Christmas will really be nothing like I was expecting. I think everyone on this thread can probably empathise with that feeling.

So I've officially lost the plot and have brought my pee cup and an OPK into work so I can test late morning as I've convinced myself this morning's was 0.00000001% lighter than yesterday's 🤦‍♀️😂

@Oxalis00 still completely blank this morning - how are yours looking?

Thanks everyone for the lovely messages and support! ❤️ Spotting has got a bit heavier but still nothing like a proper period - it's more like the kind of bleeding I usually get at the tail end of my period, and it's still all brown/pink so looks like old blood. Just really confusing! If it isn't any heavier in the morning I might just take a test anyway - at least if it's negative then I know I'm probably just waiting for AF to show up properly.

Fingers crossed for you @CluelessInLondon

@Oxalis00 I find I have faint lines on my OPKs and then it rapidly darkens one day before rapidly going back to faint lines by the next morning. Every month I think it isn't going to happen and then it does. Hopefully yours is the same soon.

@CluelessInLondon I'm sorry you're spotting, how are you feeling now? Not for the first time, you've managed to articulate something I'm feeling - it's so hard to no longer have the confidence in your body you used to and to no longer be able to trust it'll just do what it's supposed to do and has been doing.

@Haylsttc @Ladyinpink1 hopefully we can manage to squeeze it in at some point 😅 I'm close to my MIL but maybe not that much haha.

@Gem0302 thank you! I've never managed to hold off until the day my period is due to test but I'm always so impressed with people who do. I think because I wfh and am home alone a lot of the day I just can't help myself 😅

Also welcome @Bugdem123, sending you lots of energy for SMEP and good luck for this cycle x

Thank you everyone for the lovely words 💗 x

Last time we lost the baby soon after the private scan at 8+4, although we didn’t find out until 12 weeks, so I do have that in the back of my mind constantly and it’s the next scan at 10 weeks that I’m already dreading but it was really lovely to see the heartbeat yesterday, it definitely made me shed a few tears 🥹

They dated me 7+0 yesterday which is correct to my ovulation date and what Natural Cycles had dated me as. (I was 7+3 when going off LMP but I knew I didn’t ovulate until cd18 so it makes sense to be a few days behind).

@CluelessInLondon I really hope that this is implantation spotting for you 🤞🏼 x