Cd1 of ttc first cycle after loss... anyone want to join me? 🙂

@Ladyinpink1 could potentially be a symptom then 👀 not gonna get my hopes up though haha! I know what you mean about thinking every little twinge could be pregnancy related in the two week wait, it’s so hard not to symptom spot but these cycles trying again since the MMC I have stopped myself from doing it as much as I feel even sadder when AF arrives ❤️‍🩹

@moosey89 please don’t apologise, it’s so hard not to feel down when you get a bfn/af arrives or just generally feeling frustrated at infertility and/or miscarriage. I also second what @Aaliyahrae said, this thread is all about the ups and the downs and we’re here to talk about both ❤️

@moosey89 I absolutely second @Aaliyahrae's wonderful comment. Nothing to add to it really! We are here with you 💕

Thank you everyone for your kind words. The sickness has really taken it out of me but I’m still logging on to check everything is ok with everyone and will continue to do so!

@moosey89 This is a support thread. Please don’t feel bad about commenting or ‘bringing the mood down’ when you need support. You aren’t bringing the mood down, at all. Sometimes you just need that outlet to vent the good, the bad, the fears, the anger.. anything that you may be feeling especially if you don’t want to speak about it to anyone in person. You’re going through a hard time and we are all here for you, okay? I wouldn’t have got through after my MMC without this thread, it was honestly such an outlet for me. Everyone needs someone. Sending you lots of love xxx

@graceinc22 exactly that - my first pregnancy/miscarriage came after nearly 2.5years of trying and that loss was horrific (MMC with no signs anything was wrong made it so much worse). I'm terrified of it taking a year or more to get pregnant again just to have yet another loss.

And now I genuinely don't know if I'll have children. I'm still going to try for now, and still going to have all the tests etc. But both me and my boyfriend have agreed we will keep talking and when it just gets too much we will call it.

Sorry - I know there's people here celebrating BFPs and I'm genuinely happy for anyone who is pregnant after loss because I know how hard it is to try again. I don't mean to bring the mood down. Just feeling very alone (except for my other half!) and very sad this week x

@moosey89 hugs. Infertility and miscarriage together is just such an awful combination. I’ve sometimes felt like I don’t fully “fit” in either community. It’s a distinctive (and bad) combination of grieving your loss, but also having good reason to believe it could be difficult to have another baby.

@Aaliyahrae thank you so much for your kind and reassuring words! My mother in law, a gp, also wasn’t at all worried about the lines being a bit pale, basically said your hcg is low at this stage anyway, and ultimately is a positive.

I’m so sorry that the sickness has been so bad and that you needed a hospital admission. How difficult especially with your other children. Hope that things start feeling better quickly. And great that the baby is growing well and you got to see them on scans ❤️

@Ladyinpink1 No symptoms for me yet but I’m only 6dpo so I think it’s too early. I’ve also woke up with a really bad cold so that will stop me from symptom spotting too! How are you feeling? The two week wait is such a minefield!

@wyto aw that’s amazing great to hear everything is going well 😊

@moosey89 that must have been a really tough decision to come to, I hope you’re doing okay ❤️‍🩹 Counselling is a good idea, I have just started seeing one to work through the trauma from the MMC. Always here to talk if you need to vent or anything ❤️

@moosey89 yes that's a particularly tough combo. Hope you're doing as ok as can be ❤️

Thank you @ThelastRolo20 @Ladyinpink1

@SnookyPook yeah I've had counselling before and it would be a good idea to go again. I definitely ovulated later than usual - I use the clearblue tests because we have to do home artificial insemination which is also super tough because it means we can't just "relax and see". Either we're actively trying or there's basically no chance of it happening if we take a month off.

I've had a heap of bloods done this month at the recurrent miscarriage clinic and should get the results in a few weeks, infertility and miscarriage together is a painful combination, hard to get pregnant, hard to keep them xx

@Oxalis00 no you're not mad. It's got to be the right time and there's a lot of factors involved. When's your appt with the consultant? X

@moosey89 sending a big hug. So frustrating when AF is late and you get your hopes up and then it's nothing. Might you have ovulated later than you thought? Sounds like you've had some important but tough conversations too. That's a lot to get your head around. Might you seek some counselling to perhaps talk it through and find some peace with your decision? There is still hope though. While there are still some eggs, there is still a chance. 🤞🏻💕

So in the end DH was home in time for probable ovulation day, given it was so late, but I chickened out of TTC this month 🤦🏻‍♀️ am I mad?! I was worried about it affecting Christmas if I have a BFP (or CP/MC) and ideally I want to see the private consultant to test a couple of things for peace of mind first. It’s such a rollercoaster in my mind! 🤪

@moosey89 so sorry it's not good news this month. Sounds like you've have to make a very difficult decision too 😞 I know it's hard but I hope you can enjoy December and the festivities as much as possible and that you get good news in the NY X

Af is 3 days late and BFN for me 😞 just want it to arrive now so I can get it over with and try to enjoy December. Had difficult chats with my other half this last month and for lots of reasons we have decided we won't do IVF should it come to it, so time is really limited now (I don't have a good ovarian reserve). Starting to come to terms with the fact my future may look very different to the one I planned, but we're not giving up yet xx

@wyto aw that's lovely to hear 🥰 so glad you got to cry happy tears!! 💕

Wow loving all the BFPs on here! I check in daily still, I feel so invested in peoples TTC journeys and pregnancies ❤️

I've just had a private scan at 10 weeks 5 days, the stress of not knowing got too much and my NHS scan isn't until 13 weeks and right before Christmas, so I booked to go, never been so nervous for something in my whole life.

Thankfully all looks okay, I burst into tears as soon as she said there was a heart beat and I'm not normally a crier!

@Bugdem123 12DPO it is then ;) always best to leave it as long as possible. I'm aiming for 14DPO so we'll likely test the same day!

Congratulations @graceinc22 and @Gem0302 - lovely looking lines!!

@Aaliyahrae sorry you've been feeling so bad but thank you for that positivity, it's really helpful 🩷

We managed to DTD again this morning so hopefully going to catch the egg at some point today or tomorrow. I was positive on a strip OPK this morning after my positive digital last night so I think we'll have given it our best shot.

I'm saying it here now - I'm not doing to test until 12DPO. Let's see if I manage it 😂

Oh wow we’ve had so many bfp‘s on this thread 😍 congratulations @Gem0302 and @graceinc22 ❤️ hopefully we see even more in the coming weeks too 🤞

I’m going to try do the same as you @Ladyinpink1 and not test until AF is actually due which is around 11dpo for me so I’m going to try hang on until then if AF doesn’t show before that 😊

@Aaliyahrae sorry to hear you’ve been feeling unwell ❤️‍🩹 thank you for the words of encouragement!

Sorry to hear you’ve been so poorly @Aaliyahrae, that must be really tough. Thank you for sharing the positivity, it definitely helps to hear that. I still struggle to think that I am ‘having a baby’, as that seems like so far away from where I am now. When I rang about my booking appt at 5 weeks and they asked me where I wanted to give birth to my baby my first thought was ‘woah slow down, we’ve got a long way to go until we get to that point’ 🤯🤯🤯

I think as my only experience with pregnancy has been a loss that it’s still difficult for me to picture it ending well, when discussing the pregnancy with DP we both use terms like ‘IF this one works out then…’ but just trying to be super chill about it all.

Physically I am not too bad at the mo thanks for asking ladies @Ladyinpink1 @Wise0wl @Aaliyahrae I’ve been off work this week on annual leave which has been nice and has enabled me to have daily naps 😅 so my nausea hasn’t been too bad this week but was pretty rough weeks 5-7. My food aversions are horrendous though and I also can’t bear to be touched so don’t want DP anywhere near me 😂 x

@Wise0wl I definitely agree about the scans, daily would be nice 😂 but also I had such horrendous scanxiety last week that I don’t think my nerves could take them that often 😅 x

@Ladyinpink1 ahh I see, holding out till 10dpo would be great if you’re able to as it should definitely be a clearer answer for you x