Cd1 of ttc first cycle after loss... anyone want to join me? 🙂

Hi

@samilicious so sorry I forgot! Here is the link to the other group Anyone else TTC after TFMR? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4705967-anyone-else-ttc-after-tfmr ♥️

I wish not thinking about it was an option for me! Unfortunately the requirement of using home artificial insemination means if I have a month off, there's zero chance. And I think that would stress me out just as much 🙈

@Haylsttc Sorry to hear that you think AF is arriving soon - good idea though to just have a relaxing month and not worry too much about the "process" of TTC, and especially if it means you're not stressing over it during Christmas. And we know from this very thread that sometimes it happens when you stop thinking about it! Sending you a big hug. ❤

@Ladyinpink1 Thanks for setting up the new thread!

Hi everyone,

I haven’t tested but I’m pretty sure AF is going to arrive tomorrow or at the weekend sadly.

I’ve decided to take December off actively ttc as I’m struggling with the stress of it all. I’m not giving up just taking a well needed breather as I haven’t since the MMC ❤️ Hopefully I will be back in January or February depending on how I feel.

Wishing you all the best of luck in the meantime xxx

Goodness, this thread is heading for 40 pages - we’re going to need a part 2! Glad you made this gathering place @Ladyinpink1 . You must be near AF/testing now? I had progesterone test on Monday and it’s come back low (as I expected, on CD22, only 3DPO as I ovulated late) so I’ve got another tomorrow. I can’t tell if the Doctor is sick of me 🤦🏻‍♀️ or impressed with the level of engagement 🤷🏻‍♀️🤪

Hi @graceinc22 I’ve been on progesterone now for the last week. No side effects so far 🤞

hey everyone. i got prescribed progesterone today, not because i'm bleeding, but the private gynaecologist seemed to have the view that it won't hurt, and may help, so we may as well try it. has anyone been on it before, and were there side effects? x

@Bugdem123 happy you got your ovulation confirmation 😊 I'm 6 DPO so you're not far behind me x

@samilicious I'm so sorry they tried to get you to do that! I don't understand how they can be getting it so wrong.

@Wise0wl it's good to hear that some places manage to give good and compassionate care, I'm so glad that was your experience. If only they could replicate it all over!

@CluelessInLondon it's definitely helped me feel validated. We haven't tried the non-testing approach at all so it's worth giving it a go for a cycle to see if it's easier. The control freak in me definitely needs my husband to hide the tests though 😂.

My temp has been raised for 2days now so I think I've definitely ovulated. I'm going to split the difference between the app and the temp and say it happened on Sunday making me 3DPO. I was in the office yesterday and it did make it easier to avoid obsessing so I'm going to make a point of going in two days a week at least for the distraction. At least I'll know before Christmas and my period (and the associated crying 😅) will be over by Christmas Day.

@SnookyPook that's good they are chilled about it! I know my EPU said I could have progesterone regardless so it might be worth asking them 🙂

@Vic231 aw thank you. No as I've not had any spotting etc.. they've been quite chilled out about it all. The only thing so far is an early scan booked for 7 weeks...

Thank you everyone 🤍

@SnookyPook I also saw your news - amazing!! Are they offering you progesterone this time?

My EPU said I can a prescription when I'm next pregnant but can't find anywhere when I would get this.. i emailed today to ask but I think it's really effecting my thoughts on when I will test as I'd like to wait until AF is late but my head keeps saying I should test before. Or should I at least wait until the morning AF is due - or is that waiting too long ahhh!

@moosey89 Sorry to hear that AF arrived - it's not easy dealing with the disappointment, so do whatever you need to do to lift your spirits. ❤

Completely understand all of the emotions around Christmas - I should have been 24 weeks on Christmas Day and expected to be looking forward to what was to come in the spring, so it feels like it's going to be a difficult time because it's so loaded with a sense of what might have been. Love to everyone over the next few weeks - feel what you need to feel.

@Vic231 How lovely that you were able to celebrate your daughter, the bauble idea is wonderful.

@Bugdem123 I'm so glad that you were able to speak to the EPU and that you feel validated in your concerns - it makes such a difference to feel listened to. It's good that you've been able to have a chat with your husband about plans for the next cycle as well - I think the testing is fine when things are working like clockwork but if you're not quite sure what's going on then it just feeds anxiety and worry, so it's a very good idea to put the tests away for a little while and just go with the flow.

@Vic231 happy heavenly birthday to your daughter. I think your way to mark her birthday every year is so lovely. Sending you a giant hug.

@Bugdem123 ane @samilicious i am so sorry to hear about your experiences, I had no idea that different trusts do things SO differently (and some get it so wrong??) my EPU was amazing, I had my own room and was completely separate to anyone else, and the EPU itself is separate to anywhere that heavily pregnant women/new babies would be. I didn’t realise I was lucky in my experience of that; everyone should be entitled to that sensitivity and privacy.

@Vic231 That sounds like a lovely way to commemorate her birthday ♥️ that would be amazing if you don't mind?

@Bugdem123 just read your last post, that's absolutely shocking that that's what your trust do. Thank god you didn't have to do that. How is that ok?

Mine tried to push me to give birth in the rainbow room in the hospital with all the healthy babies being born on the same ward, but I couldn't face it so I went through BPAS instead and had a surgical procedure.

@GeorgeR28 that's interesting that you use both, might give them both a go!

@ThelastRolo20 @Ladyinpink1 thank you! I thought it was, but Flo made it seem like 90% stuff was negative which confused me when I tried to log it.

@Bugdem123 I'm so sorry to hear about your faith being rocked in your body after your MC. I was the same and it affected my confidence and so many things, I was just to angry at myself when TTC after my MC, like my body was just playing tricks on me for a laugh with symptoms I'd had after conceiving before. Stopping tracking and time off work/counselling really helped me feel better and then a month after that, what do you know, I conceived my DD who was a textbook pregnancy. That counselling and all I learned really helped me go through my TFMR after my DD as well. Big hugs, it's a sh*tty place to be in ♥️

@graceinc22 yeah, I think she genuinely was interested in what I had to say and my thoughts on my experience but I think ultimately the biggest issues are outwith her control. She apologised for how bad it was and I think hearing her say it wasn't acceptable has helped as I was worried I was being dramatic or expecting too much. She said she's trying to implement a cultural change over the use of language and making the staff understand the impact mc has on women.

The biggest issue I had was being expected to take the medication in a 4 in a room ward and pass the baby in a toilet that I was sharing with those 4 other women, one of whom was also having the same procedure. I honestly still can't believe that that's deemed normal. Her explanation was that they only have 3 private rooms and they're usually in use by patients who are dying. I said I couldn't understand why women are being forced into this when other women who have terminations get to do it at home. I was "lucky" in that it did happen for me at home an hour before I went into hospital but I still had some retained clots which they wanted me to stay in for. I can still hear the partner of the woman next to me trying to comfort her, it was so traumatising. She did say they want to try a pilot of allowing women to do it at home so maybe that will change one day. I know if I'm ever in that situation again, I'd probably take the pills and then discharge myself.

@SunSparkle @Aaliyahrae @SnookyPook (and others) - yes, being pregnant doesn’t take away the grief, those babies of ours were still lost. Ive been finding it really strange feeling being pregnant again and knowing the new baby would have had an older sibling, who they won’t get to meet in this life (I’m a Christian and believe the baby is in heaven and I hope they will meet in eternity). Especially strange knowing that this baby wouldn’t have come into existence at this time if I hadn’t lost my first, as I’d still be pregnant!

@Bugdem123 great that the hospital has seemed responsive. Were you happy with how they spoke to you and dealt with it? really important that you raised things which will hopefully improve the experience for other women. It’s just such a horrendous time when you’re going through a miscarriage and when things aren’t they should be in the care you receive, just adds to it.

@Vic231 the bauble is a lovely idea. Happy belated heavenly birthday to your daughter 🩷

@moosey89 so sorry that AF arrived. I totally relate to the feeling of just wanting the world to stop for a bit.

@CluelessInLondon I think you're right about keeping busy. I have a lot on this week so hopefully it'll pass the time.

My temp is up this morning so I maybe ovulated yesterday. FF has it tentative as Saturday but I'm not convinced by that, I think it was likely Sunday night or Monday, if at all. So I'm anywhere between 1-3DPO. I've put myself on a test ban until the 16th.

Had a proper chat with my husband about how I'm feeling and we've agreed that next cycle he's going to hide the tests and we're just going to have sex every other day. I'm getting too obsessed and upset when things aren't exactly as I think they'll be or were before and that can't be helping either of us.

I also had a phone call with the lead nurse of the EPU and ward I had my medical management on and discussed a few ( a lot 😅) of my concerns and gave suggestions as to what I think she could do to improve things. She said there was one thing in particular she could implement as of today so hopefully other women don't have to have as bad an experience as I did and she'd take forward my other suggestions to their working group.

Hope you're all okay x