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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC for 18+ months and feeling low!

537 replies

Natty2 · 02/09/2023 14:42

I'm fairly new at this forum and decided to join after TTC since the start of 2022
We discovered earlier this year that my DH morphology was low, although all other results were normal. He implemented life style changes straight away, and even went through a varicocele embolisation a few months ago, so we're waiting to see if that's helped.

Having gone through the rest of the year undergoing tests everything seems normal, so the NHS are not letting us even get on the IVF list until 2024. It's been such a long, physical and emotional journey and there seems to be no end in sight.

Anyone else going through similar things? I feel like I live life in 2 week cycles and it's so hard to try and not think about it all!!
Any tips?!

OP posts:
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Original poster
Natty2 · 14/09/2023 16:49

@curliegirlie I'm sorry you have been through such a hard time and a miscarriage too 😞 hope you can still hold the faith for a little longer and luck will all come our way soon!

@Foreverhopeful92 hope your gp call went ok!

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curliegirlie · 13/09/2023 09:05

@Natty2 yep, currently going for a third.

It shouldn't really be a surprise as my first took 10 cycles over 16 months (but only 6 after my hyperthyroidism was diagnosed) and my second took 12 cycles. But this one kicked off when I had a surprise pregnancy (early miscarriage) last year, so I guess I hoped things might be a bit easier if I was able to get pregnant whilst being slightly flaky about taking the pill! How wrong I was!! I've not had a whiff of anything since....

Foreverhopeful92 · 12/09/2023 23:10

@missmoosh oh wow I’m so sorry it sounds like you really have had such a difficult journey with it all!
I really hope the appointment goes well and things move quickly for you now!
I completely understand how you feel about seeing that BFP and wanting to start a family! It’s so difficult when something you want so much isn’t happening and feels out of your control.
i really hope we have some good news and steps forward on this thread soon xx

missmoosh · 12/09/2023 19:39

@Natty2 thank you! All booked in so that's a relief! I went for a week from tomorrow as the smiley face was today. So assume will ovulate in next 24 hours. Got the worst ovulation pains as well!

@Foreverhopeful92 it's been a rough wait I can't lie. Originally they said January next year for appointment and I cried at that! Hopefully yours is not as long as mine!
So my timeline is a bit odd. We started trying back in October 2020, but I was diagnosed with Graves in 2021 and had thyroid removed at the end of 2021. We tried the entire time but no luck and we had our wedding coming up, so decided to take a break. Then started trying again August 2022, im now on cycle 15 of that attempt. So over 2 years now, but i dont mentally count the time when my thyroid was whacky. I have never seen a BFP in all that time though and it's heartbreaking. So ready to start a family!

Foreverhopeful92 · 12/09/2023 18:42

Thanks @Natty2 for your kind words. I’ll definitely keep pushing with the GP to get the referral so at least I then know I’m on a list somewhere!!

Sorry to hear you’ve had a journey with it all too! Amazing you heard within 2 weeks! Although still a long wait til October for the appointment. I think that’s the case everywhere though!

Hope they can rearrange for you soon and you don’t need to wait too long.

Great news re your Hycosy results - I have heard it can improve fertility for 3 months afterwards so fingers crossed that is the case for you!

haha we can keep each other on track this month with the relaxing and not testing!!

Original poster
Natty2 · 12/09/2023 18:08

@Foreverhopeful92

That is really annoying to have to make you go through the tests again! They should accept the private tests, it's no different
For us we contacted the GP in January after 12 months of ttc. They organised the initial tests but my DH ended up going privately as nhs were taking so long for his! I got some additional ones done privately too, AMH and follicle count but the GP forwarded everything to the NHS fertility specialist for the referral. We were amazed that we heard from the gynaecologist within 2 weeks.
Our first face to face appointment is October, but this was delayed to allow enough time for my DH to recover from his varicocele op. No idea how long the IVF wait list is though 😞

I hope your phone call with the GP goes well on Thursday. I would keep on pushing as much as you can, I know they are inundated, but my initial scans were delayed because I think they forgot! So when I called up to chase, I was booked in for the very next day.

I had hycosy scan last month too, I think it’s worthwhile doing to rule out any blockages. Fortunately mine were clear so really is just a matter of time for us now, as we’ve done everything we can and have relatively ‘normal results’

I took some advice on here and stopped tracking my temperature this month, trying to relax too! But I’m the same as you, it’s constantly on my mind!!

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Original poster
Natty2 · 12/09/2023 18:02

@missmoosh glad you can get the day 21 tests booked in! I'm on CD 11
Good luck this month!

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Foreverhopeful92 · 12/09/2023 16:59

@missmoosh Honestly I asked for a referral back in May when it had been a year but its like ‘computer says no’ kind of thing. Apparently I have to have tests and scan before the GP can even make the referral!! So definitely won’t be getting the referral until at least October / November.
Gosh I’m so scared about the wait time at that point! I don’t know how you’ve waited since last December! I’m in awe!!! Pleased for you that the appointment is coming up soon! is this your first appointment with them?
How long would you have been trying by then?

missmoosh · 12/09/2023 16:49

@Foreverhopeful92 I hope they send the referral for you soon! Maybe push for it and say given wait times anyway the tests can be done whilst you wait? So bad they won't accept private results, it's not like they are doing anything different?!

Foreverhopeful92 · 12/09/2023 15:41

Thanks @missmoosh this is my fear! I asked for a referral in May but the GP won’t refer until we’ve had a list of tests done including a scan which I’m currently on the wait list for (Over 3 months and counting so far!) even though I’ve had one done privately - they won’t accept it - well my GP won’t. I’ve had all my bloods etc done and DH has his test this month.

I'm speaking to the GP on Thursday and hoping she’ll be able to let me know wait time when the referral happens but I am scared it’s gonna be a long wait. :(

Oooh exciting times! I’m CD2 so quite a bit behind for this cycle. Hope your repeat test goes well :)

missmoosh · 12/09/2023 15:27

@Foreverhopeful92 what area are you in? As I would suggest getting the referral in ASAP, I have a month more to wait until I see gynaecologist on NHS to hopefully start ball rolling on IVF. But the referral went in December last year! (Kent based)

Got smiley face on OPK today, CD12 so an early one! But means I can get my repeat day 21 test booked in

Foreverhopeful92 · 12/09/2023 14:09

Thanks @Natty2 . Definitely great to have support with eachother.

We paid to have some tests done at 9 months privately as I was just concerned it wasn’t happening. All seem okay, nothing which suggests an issue (although I do have polycystic ovaries apparently but not the syndome).
DH results showed a slightly low count - but other factors were fine. Doctor recommended Proxeed so he’s been on that and made some lifestyle changes too to try and get the count up a bit more.

We started the referral process through the GP in May but its taking a while. They are making me repeat all the tests before they refer us to fertility as I had done them privately and they won’t accept them. DH has a repeat test later this month so hopefully see some improvement. I have a call with the GP on Thursday to find out what is going on with the tests as there’s lots of delays. I’m also going to ask how long the referral wait time is but I’m also scared to ask as I am worried it’s going to be a long time.

I’m currently considering having a Hycosy privately at the end of the year as I’ve heard good things but we’ll see. it feels like something to try before we go down the ivf route with the NHS.

Hows the process going for you?

I’ve also decided to stop using OPKs and be more relaxed hahaha (as if I can relax - it’s all I think about) but I’m gonna try!

Original poster
Natty2 · 12/09/2023 13:50

@curliegirlie I'm sorry it's been so long for you too! I'm new to the forum lingo, but is that for trying for baby 3? How did you get on previously?

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Original poster
Natty2 · 12/09/2023 13:47

@Foreverhopeful92
I'm sorry to hear it's been so long for you too! Completely understand that it's not the same when speaking to family and friends. That's part of the reason why I joined this forum when my last AF arrived, so we can hopefully find support in each other!
How are your tests going? Have you managed to see a specialist?

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curliegirlie · 12/09/2023 13:27

I'm in the same boat, 18 months (and just approaching the end of something like cycle 20 with BFNs despite a ridiculous amount of dtd over the holidays) and just feeling really shite. I've only got a couple of months more left in me before I think it's time to close the door on this and accept there will be no DC3.

Foreverhopeful92 · 12/09/2023 13:03

Hi @Natty2

I just wanted to join you and say that I’m sorry you’re going through this. It really is so crap!!
AF arrived yesterday and we are officially at 18 months now too and not a hint of BFP.

Although I have very supportive friends and family no one we know has taken this long to conceive so as much as they try and understand it’s difficult for them to know what to say etc.

Sorry to hear we’re all in this position and I hope it’ll be our turn soon!

Original poster
Natty2 · 06/09/2023 20:18

@missmoosh good luck! Roll on October 🎉

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missmoosh · 05/09/2023 18:34

@Natty2 I hope the time passes quickly for you! My original gynaecologist appointment was January, so I totally understand the feeling! Fingers crossed you won't even need it!

OK GP has agreed to do day 21 and rubella test but not day 3 ones...guess I will have to wait for the gynaecologist to ask for those. Looked at my cycle predication, I will be right in the middle of a cycle at the appointment, so be a couple weeks after until I can even get them done!!! Hoping they can put me forward for ivf without them though 🙏

Original poster
Natty2 · 05/09/2023 08:43

@missmoosh hopefully once I've had my blood test next week and my husband gets his SA next month following his procedure, then we should be all good to go! 2 years will be Jan 2024, so not that far away... but still feels like ages after all this time!

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missmoosh · 04/09/2023 21:33

@Natty2 funnily enough I requested that one too, as I had heard it mentioned previously!
So we tried for several months a while ago but stopped due to health reasons and a wedding! So we have actually been trying over 2 years now. Though I personally don't count the several months as my thyroid was out of control so there was no chances!
How frustrating for you! When is your 2 years done? Are you able to get everything set up so you can go straight for ivf if you haven't been successful?

Original poster
Natty2 · 04/09/2023 18:43

@missmoosh definitely!
If it's helpful, as well as the hormone blood tests they also need to do a Rubella test before IVF. What's annoying is I had mine bloods done last month and they didn't test for it so I'm having to get it re done next week 🙄
I do hope they can get you on the IVF list soon if that's the route. We were really disappointed when we were told we had to wait until we had tried naturally for 2 years before getting on the NHS IVF list, because they still hope it will work naturally. It might be different if you are over 35, but we are 34!

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missmoosh · 04/09/2023 11:34

@Natty2 we will have to keep each other updated as to what they say!
I have just contacted the GP to request repeats of all of the bloods and got my husband to ask for a repeat SA. Hoping then if it's all normal I can just be referred straight through to IVF... odd that I'm excited about that prospect 😂

Original poster
Natty2 · 03/09/2023 18:37

@missmoosh mine is in October too, good luck!

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missmoosh · 03/09/2023 14:44

Pressed send to soon, yeah I sometimes enjoy taking a month not tracking if nothing else its a mental break for a moment from it all.

missmoosh · 03/09/2023 14:43

@Natty2 it really is, I am hoping to contact doctors tomorrow to ask them for repeats of everything ahead of my gynaecologist appointment in October. So that I can at least speed up any next steps!