What's IVF *really* like?

This particular recruitment guy looked about 12 and like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. It swas almost worth putting up with the IVF for that alone!

From what I could remember for almost 2 weeks I was at the clinic every other day and at different times, I guess it depends on where you work in relation to the clinic, you may be able to fit in visits in your lunch time or on the way in or home.

I'm interested in the work/Ivf balance too. I don't know whether to wait and have two IVF attempts then get a job if it fails. Or go for that dream job i've just seen and just hope it works out.
I mean how much time is spent at the clinic, you would have to tell your employer wouldn't you?

Sorry for hijacking again Jane, and i've had wine now so i'll be worse

It was daring and it did pay off but we were taking a huge risk, if it didnt work I would have been left without a job. But I was so positive that it would, which was why it I went to pieces so much when the first one failed, I didnt really go into it expecting failure.

Dont mean to be rude but is money an issue or are you lucky to get funding, when you know each visit could ultimately cost your more that is bound to have a negative effect.

no help on teh work thing (I also left my job) - when it didn;t work and I had to explain a gao in my CV was bloody dificult though. I scaed the wits out of one (male) recruiters who persisted in asking what I'd done in my year off "I had bloody IVF repeatedly. OK?"

I was glad I set myself a limit - it isvery easy to keep going until your funds (and your body!) are exhausted, its sooo tempting just to think ... one more try...

Obviously that approach doesn't work for everyone but I knew I would move on to adoption and just felt that wasting more time and money on something which may never work was less important than having a fmaily anotherway.

Just to jump in again, going through IVF while working was my main concern, I didnt want everybody in the office to know my very private business and just couldnt figure out how to do it.

We took a bit of a gamble but it kind of paid off, I handed in my notice and we went on a once in a lifetime holiday around the world, I told my very understanding boss the reason for leaving work and when we came back my boss allowed me to do some work on a casual basis from home and once i got pregnant I handed in my notice.

downregging = down regulating - effet=ctivey they turn all your homrones off (instant menopause) so that the artificial hormones can take over - it takes a different amount of time for everyone but I beleive is about 2 weeks (?) is just a nasal spray.

"It is hard for IVF not to be the main focus of your life for that time - OK hands up who managed that!

Its tru that as you don't appear to have any fertility issues your chances would be higher again.

I'd also forgotten (my how the memory recedes!) how up and down your emotions were depemdong on the results of the scan. Oh the follicales are growing nicely = happy positive day, oh there hasn;t been much change form the last scan = depressed miserable day. I had to tell my family not to ask me how it was going in the end as it was doing my head in - we developed a rule in teh end - if I wanted to talk abou tit I would bring the subject up otherwise they;d keep their mouth shut!

II had three cycles of IVF after 6 cycles on clomid and 3 cycles on injectibles - all IUI. This was after a cone biopsy and a polyp being removed.

Bst piece of advice I had was to decide how many attenpts you were going to have and stick to it. I was very unlucky with my IVF. The first I haemorrgaed afetr one week instead of having normal bleed after two. Clnic decided that I wasn't absorbing enough progesterone to suuport a pregnancy so had to move to injectible intramuscular projestone (conistency of olive oil) daily after embryo transfer. On teh days when I didn;t have anyone to stick me in the bum I had to imbed a needle that would scare horses into my thigh up to the hilt It bloody hurt - the normal IVF injetions are easy particlarly if you have very good needles.

Second attempt I hyperstimulated badly and had 30 follicels over 2cms (they didn't bother counting the smaller ones) once I'd ben treated they managed to colelct one egg . Third attempt was painfully slow as they were so concerned about me hyperstimulating again, egg collection was normal but for reasons they don't understand the sperm died before fertilising any eggs.

I found the drugs exaggerated my emotions terribly, I'm not an unusually emotional person but could be relied on to cry in public at the least provocatopn . In the end you stick with it becuase you want it enough. But I think its a good idea to be prepared. If you're under 35 and normal BMI that will work massively in your favour.

Before I terrify you too much, my experince was unusual and the clinic I used said about 85% of the popel they have under 35 are preganant by the third attmept. I also think that the technology is improvig all the time.

Be prepared to become very blase about your body parts though. I've had more transvaginal scans than most women have had hot dinners

Thanks again jane, and sorry if i'm hijacking .
Coggy have you considered egg sharing? I know it raises alot of issues, but we looked into it and your talking under £1000 as opposed to the £3500 which is our cheapest quote so far.
(Though makes me very angry that women in desperate situations like ours are forced to sell their eggs because of high prices and lack of NHS funding ) sorry had to rant there, realise it's a delicate issue

Some of the stresses will be the number of visits to the clinics and the timing of these, especially if you are working. The fact that I couldn't predict which day egg retrieval would be was quite a blow in terms of working, so that is something to consider if you haven't already.

The other aspect of the treatment that I hadn't appreciated in advance is that you end up knowing too much about what is going on. You can follow the size and number of your follicles during each scan, then you have the number of eggs collected, then you have the number of emrbyos that fertilise and then you have to see how many of those reach blastocyte stage or whatever is needed for the PGD (and typically the numbers drop at each of these stages). And of course you have the extra step of seeing how many "pass" the PGD. And you go through all of this before you even start your 2 week wait.

The other thing to think about is the length of a cycle. Because of downregging beforehand, from the time you start to downreg to the time of the pg test can be up to 7 weeks. It is hard for IVF not to be the main focus of your life for that time.

I do feel for you in having had to terminate. IVF rates have increased so much and obviously they will be higher than normal for you as you have previously concieved. I'm sure that your clinic will have warned you to consider this as a round of treatments, ie set yourself up mentally to think of having 3 IVF cycles and see what happens.

Good luck!

And thankyou Coggy (feels star struck )

Unfortunately I am also near the deadline as I've been warned I'm at risk of premature menopause (sp) Ohh it just gets better doesn't it!!

But your positivity is very up lifting Jane, it helps talking to people who understand. Most people (my mother mainly) cannot understand my anxiety and keep saying I should wait, but it's not something you can easily put to the back of your mind is it?

The one solution to our problem is the cause of the problem in the 1st place (if that makes sense)

I'm off to crack the wine open and think positive thoughts

Thank you 1wish.....it's amazing how the past years have just turned into 'normal life' really....although I do have my moments when I feel that life is particularily unfair!

On the whole I am positive about it all.
I thought that I would be devestated at a failed IVF attempt as that was The End...but we are now looking into adoption and have found out that a private IVF attempt is not quite as hugely expensive as we thought.....we shall have to see.......

Hope all goes well with you. You have years on your side which is a good thing...although I know it doesn't feel like much of a comfort when you've been ttc for so long.
X

Fingers crossed for you . I don't think it'll work for us, I'm coming to terms with this at the grand old age of 24 after actively trying for 3 years and no contraception for 6 (I know, i'm terrible )
Where are you thinking of having your IVF, are you going private?

Also just wanted to say i'm so sorry it didn't work out coggy i've been following your story for ages, and i've never heard such a heartbreaking story. Makes me feel stupid wallowing in my self pity when I can't even imagine what you've gone through.

I'm glad the IVF may not be as stressfull as I first thought

Oops!
I also meant to say...that I believe that this cycle of IVF would have been far more stressful if we had had to pay for it.

The financial implications add a whole new stress level I'm sure....which is why we decided to only have our one NHS go.