What's IVF *really* like?

We were unsuccessful at our IVF attempts, but have had a baby as a result of egg donation IVF.

My number one tip is to think of it is as a whole series of hurdles (or milestones if you want to be a bit more positive). Between now and having a baby there are just so many things that have to go right and if you spend your time just thinking about the baby at the end of it all you're really setting yourself up for disappointment. Don't think about success or failure in terms of having the baby. Instead, think of every scan, every blood test, every egg collection, every sperm collection, every fertilization, every implantation, every pregnancy test, every scan and so on as another accomplishment on the road to your goal.

It's a very long process, with much waiting (and dozens and dozens of appointments, drugs, injections, nurses, doctors, and so on) and you need to feel good about it along the way.

It's not a nice experience (either physically or mentally) but it's really not that bad. For us the pregnancy and the time after the birth were far worse as it turns out. Of course ultimately, if it works, as it did for us, it all feels utterly worthwhile.

Go for it and good luck.

Come and join the IVF-ers thread, then I'll remember to keep you informed I really hope it works out for you with the IVF.
I'm going for a scan next week and then we'll see what happens next. Am feeling quite nervous about it all now it's actually becoming 'real'

No more magnolia that sounds great ... I hope we get that lucky with Norfolk PCT!!!

Fertility issues certainly doesn't help me learn to be any more patient, I constantly feel like a puppy pulling on his leach!!

Anyway all the best with Easter ... please keep me posted with how it goes??? We might be just a few steps behind so you could teach us the ropes!!

Take Care :0)

byhisgrace How awful the 4 pgs have not resulted in a baby
We're just starting down the NHS funded IVF route and we've been reffered really quickly but I think we're the exception rather than the rule. Until recently our PCT would automatically put a six month delay on funding couples through IVF but they've recently decided that NHS funded couple shouldn't have to wait any longer than self-funding couples and that they'll find the money from somewhere. As a result we saw the gynae at the end of Jan to discuss what we'd do next (after 6mo of Clomid didn't work), he reffered us and we're already on the books at the IVF clinic with our first consultation after Easter!

Hello all .... I guess there is lots of us out there!!

we tried to conceive for 2 years with no success and a move to the country just seemed to change all that. We have conceived naturally 4 times in 14 months since the move!!

Unfortunately none of these have resulted in a baby. We had a misscarriage at 12 weeks and have had 3 ectopics ... the last one was removed a week ago ... and as a result I now have no fallopian tubes!! This is really hard to get my head round!! We both come from huge fertile families and are so blessed by all the neices and nephews ... but we'd like to join in!!

We have an appointment to disscuss IVF with the GP .... how long do NHS referrals take? How long does a cycle take? Are there any questions you would reccommend I ask!! Really anxious to know more and would be greatful of any advice!!

I'm in the limbo stage post transfer, which is the bit I hate the most (this is my 5th harvest and dd was born on 4th). There's some really good advice here. Yes, the injections, scans, etc etc range from painful, scary, revolting etc, but I found comfort in the fact I was doing something rather than just waiting for it to happen naturally (oh, imagine, doing it the old-fashioned way: couple of drinks in the pub, maybe dinner and a shag!).

The bit I hate the most is the 2 week wait. I think I might go and pee on a stick just to get it off my mind for a day. It's driving me mad. The bit my dp hates is the fact I go off my rocker during it. Fortunately, I'm mostly oblivious to it but this weekend I went out and forgot to shut the front door and when I came home left my bag on the doorstep (don't ask how, I don't know!!).

will sanity ever return??

I've had 6 attempts, got our beautiful DD on attempt no.4 now pregnant with twins after attempt no.6. Its bloody hard!!! The drugs mess with your mind and your body. You have so many highs and lows as you go through all the various stages, then the 2week wait is the hardest part of all!!!! analyzing every little niggle in case it might mean something....then if it fails, thats the last 6-8 wks down the drain, never mind the thousands of pounds that went with it (no funding here i'm afraid!)

BUT............. when it works, its all forgotten and its worth every single penny.

Have you been onto this website

www.carefertilityweb.co.uk/phpBB2/index.php

Its great and you can support each other through all the differant stages, even before you get started. Would highly reccommend acupuncture before during and after!!

Good luck, hope i haven't depressed you even more.

xx

Hi Jane. I did 1 round of IVF and found the side effects & drugs etc not really that bad. ~Felt a bit uncomfortable the day before egg retrieval though! I tried to think of it in stages i.e. if down regulation works at least I know that stage is done and we don't need to try anything else; stimulation is working, don't need to try anything else so that is good news etc..

I was very lucky and got pregnant with DD on the first attempt (although am now planning to go back to TTC#2!)

With work, I was working full time throughout (and through the 8 preceding failed IUIs!) I was lucky in that the clinic was very close to my work so I would just pop out for 20 mins. I also got to know the receptionist so she would call me 5 minutes before they would be ready to see me rather than having to wait for an hour or so. When I embarked on IVF I told my boss who was actually very understanding and I told my secretary so that she could come up with excuses. 1 friend at work also knew, but like KC, I had always said I would do 3 goes and that would be it. I found work helfpul really in that it gave me something else to think about.

On the diet etc, we had a fantastic holiday 3 months before we were due to start and ate and drank a lot (to help with relaxation LOL) but then went on a major diet, lots of fruit and veg, fish etc and no booze or caffiene.

I think the emotional side of it is probably the hardest thing to bear and I had a huge amount of support from DH, my mum and the counsellor at the hospital who I ended up going to see about once a week - I also did acupuncture with an acupuncturist who was experienced with IVF etc and was also a great help. It is doable and bearable but not easy. Good luck!

Just wanted to add, at my clinic the scans were at different times of the day, depending on how I was responding to the treatment, sometimes in the morning and sometimes in the afternoon, couldnt really depend on the time of the scan until I had the previous one and they could them make an informed decision, not all clinics do it as exact as this. May be worth asking your clinic if they do this, I was happy that they did as I felt that they were likely to catch the optimum time and also felt that they were keeping an eye on me, but this could obviously have implications if you are working.

In terms of work I think that you need to quiz your potential clinics in terms of their protocols. For my first treatment I went with a clinic local to my home address. This was fairly disasterous as they held all of their scans/bloods at lunchtime so it was almost a 3hr round trip each time. I then moved to a clinic nearer to work, who also did early morning scans/bloods so i could be at my desk shortly after 9 each morning. In that event my work was only really disturbed by the lack of notice about egg retrieval. And in case it isn't obvious dh is needed then too, so you have his work to think about, though usually they are more accomodating as he won't be looking for maternity pay.

FWIW I didn't actually feel that hormonal as a result of the drugs. I was however very emotional about the procedure.

In terms of the number of cycles to think about, I'm not sure to what extent PGD affects the stats. When I last did IVF (5 years ago) I was told that the critical success factor was the ability to select the best embryos from a number, so essentially the more eggs that fertilise and grow, the better. You will be reducing this number through the PGD, so I guess you need to factor in to what extent you are reducing the eggs. So if there is a 50:50 chance that you pass on the condition then you are reducing the number of embryos to half. So whilst an average couple may have an 85% chance of a baby by their 3rd IVF attemtpt, you might need 4 say to get to the same chance of success. Obviously there may only be say a 1 in 4 or less chance that you pass on the condition which brings your odds back to closer to the average.

Jane coming a bit late to this thread, but know a bit about the pros and cons. I got to the top of the NHS IVF list twice, but managed to conceive naturally just before each time - 2nd time got as far as the appointment to set the day that month... However, 2nd time round I was told that it was really good that it was proved that implantation was OK as this was one of the things that could be a problem and make IVF less sucessful

We had a problem with a mp the first time I conceived - and treatment was such that we decided that if it happened again we would not try a third time but would try to adopt.

Friends of mine went through IVF but stopped part way through the first treatment as it made her feel awful. They decided to adopt and now have a lovely little boy.

I think that its a really good idea if you know what your plan is if things don't go the way you hope - and give yourself a way out and alternative option. It means that the earth doesn't collapse totally around you if things don't work as hoped for.

Oh, and in terms of letter people know at work, my dh has 2 people in his dept at work that are both going through or starting IVF - I think it depends on how understganding you work is.

Thanks again, and I'll follow your progress. I don't post much as I never have anything very useful to contribute, and I take over the thread but if I see you about when I'm lurking I'll say hi.
Oh and I'll continue my voluntary work over the period (preens at voluntary work) so I will be doing something constructive.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, i better get on with doing my uni work, I've been on here for 6 hours eek!

sorry x-posts

Well I'm at uni untill the middle of may, so can't really handle the stress of IVF and my stupid dissertation and exams.
I've made my mind up anyway, IVF first, Job later. I don't know how i'll manage lazing around all day doing very little, opps I forgot thats what I do already (typical student)

Have you started the IVF process already, or when are you planning to start Jane. People's responses on here have really made me feel better about the whole thing, maybe not as scary as we thought, and some positive stories, don't you think

Hi

I had ICSI a few years ago well we had 3 goes at it and then the Dr told us to stop wasting our time as it would never work as my eggs were too old (i was 32 at the time), best news he gave us really. We were living in Germany at the time as hubby in the army and we used to fly over for our treatment at Hammersmith, have to say we approached it rather factly if it works then so so be it. Didn't mind the injecting or extracting or implantion but hated the bloods as bruise rather easily.

Anyway we went on to adopt a sibling group of three so it all worked out for the best for us.

Hope it works out for you and would just say try and relax about it all.

Thanks for the wine (1wish takes a sip, nods head, good wine )
Were thinking of may/june time, the job i've seen starts end of may, it's a trainee post and I know I could do it, oh bollox why is it such a mess. I don't want to miss a job oppotunity but I don't want to delay the one thing I want more than anything.
My head hurts from trying to figure it out, or is that the wine

I think it'll be best not to start any job then really (ok I guess if you've been with an employer a while). Dp fully supportive of me not taking a job till we've had a few goes. I was unsure, but I don't think it's wise to start a new job and then go for IVF is it?
But on the other hand it's costing a fortune so i need to work!!
sorry I'm just thinking out loud here...I'll go get another glass of wine I think and stop clogging up this thread

I had IVF a few years ago, and had real problems with the work thing - to tell them or not? I was working in a big bank in London at the time, lots of pressure, managing a team etc and truly didn't know what was best to do. I was about 90 mins away from work when I was at the clinic

I ended up not telling them what was going on - simply because I thought they would be sympathetic and helpful for the first cycle of IVF, but what if I needed more? How sympathetic would they be then? So I didn't tell them and used a range of excuses such as dentist appointment, doctors appointment, late trains etc. If it helps, I think all of my scans were in the morning, and I requested scans as early in the day as possible. I booked the day of egg collection off and the two days following as medical leave and said I was having a minor op.
To be honest though, it was stressful having to rush to work afterwards each time, and I hated it.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do