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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Worried about my fertility

33 replies

Internette · 01/08/2023 17:47

Hi girls, my partner and I have been trying to have a baby for 4 months now, but each time it's been a failure. Neither he nor I have any known health problems, I've stopped drinking at parties, I eat balanced meals, I take vitamins, I do sport, I regulate my stress at work as much as possible, we have regular intercourse and even more so during the fertile period... but I have the feeling that we're going to have trouble conceiving, it's been a terrible feeling all along. It's as if I had a premonition. Today is the 2nd day of my period and I'm starting to experience them as mourning. Does anyone have a good pregnancy story to tell that might help me stay positive? Thanks ☺️

OP posts:
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XenaTheWarriorPrincess · 04/12/2023 23:34

You can't cheat luck when it comes to conception and that's what you're relying on.

Each cycle has around a 30% chance of pregnancy. No matter how healthy you are, no matter how many vitamins you take or how fertile you are you just can't cheat the odds.

Sperm meeting egg is only the first hurdle, the majority of the time it happens, it isn't viable and doesn't result in pregnancy. This is perfectly normal in even the healthiest couples.

So each cycle you reset the odds to 30% and that's only when you've timed sex right.

Some people get lucky quickly and for some it takes a lot longer.

Stress can be a factor when it comes to conception, so you really do need to accept the odds, stop worrying there's something wrong with you (because odds are, there isnt) and just get on with it.

I got my bfp after 5 cycles of tracking, but we were casually ttc without opk tracking for 4 months prior to that, so 9 in total. Perfectly normal.

riverlodge90 · 04/12/2023 23:21

@Internette
Just to say I'm also 30 and on month 8 too. Otherwise healthy and regular cycle, ovulate around cycle day 18-19.

Seriously fed up too but nothing we can do than keep trying

Original poster
Internette · 03/12/2023 19:43

now it’s 8 months TTC :/
I wish you good luck for this month
Thanks for your support

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InthekitchenAmz · 03/12/2023 19:06

Four months isn't very long at all.. been trying for years now and haven't even had a period since June 2 this year. So don't even know if ovulating or not. Cheap tests are messing with my head. they are faint positive and digital says negative. I wish it was easier to ask for help

Original poster
Internette · 03/12/2023 18:23

Outliers · 04/11/2023 11:15

Have you tried ovulation prediction tests to ensure you and your partner are doing it on the right day?

Show quote history

I dit last month with clear blue expansive tests and found out I was ovulating at day N° 21 instead of predicted day N° 14..
This month I use easy homes’ s, the tests are quite uninterpretable because they are all identical…

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Original poster
Internette · 03/12/2023 18:21

Thank you very much…
Month number 8 of TTC
Nothing
My worry grows

OP posts:
Outliers · 04/11/2023 11:15

Internette · 04/11/2023 08:00

TTC month number 7 😔
After the month number 12 we will go to the fertility doctor
My concern was right to be when I started this topic …

Have you tried ovulation prediction tests to ensure you and your partner are doing it on the right day?

Original poster
Internette · 04/11/2023 08:00

TTC month number 7 😔
After the month number 12 we will go to the fertility doctor
My concern was right to be when I started this topic …

OP posts:
Tottenhaminmyblood · 24/08/2023 21:01

@Internette i feel your pain I’m 18 months in TYC . Sending you baby dust and a hug xx

Original poster
Internette · 24/08/2023 19:56

In fact I have tears in my eyes, I am 11dpo, with a negative test this day, absolutely no symptoms, and the certainty in my heart that I am not pregnant. I feel so alone and depressed. My partner has no idea what TWW is.

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Original poster
Internette · 02/08/2023 10:11

I appreciate your support ladies :) have a good day !

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Whatelsecouldibecalled · 01/08/2023 20:52

@MaybeBabyTwo noted. Sorry you're offended

MaybeBabyTwo · 01/08/2023 20:51

@Whatelsecouldibecalled 🤣🤣 then I have to say please don't make up stats on the Internet!!!

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 01/08/2023 20:50

@MaybeBabyTwo thanks for the correction. I knew it was something high

MaybeBabyTwo · 01/08/2023 20:49

@Whatelsecouldibecalled don't know where you're getting your stats from but it's 80% within 12 months and 95% within two years without further intervention. Which is still very reassuring for the OP hopefully. 4 months is nothing.

moosey89 · 01/08/2023 20:47

Honestly just keep doing what you're doing, knowing your cycles and making sure you get down to it on the right days! Up to a year is totally normal for a 30 year old to conceive - each month even if you time everything right you only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant so definitely no need to worry yet. It took me 2.5 years to get pregnant the first time, and even then all my fertility tests came back as 'normal' so it was just treated as unexplained infertility. Second time round it took me 6 months. Unfortunately both ended in miscarriage so no kids yet but we're going to try again as soon as possible after this one, and I'd not go for tests or help until another 8ish months passes (which would make me 35). Good luck and hope you get your BFP soon x

Original poster
Internette · 01/08/2023 19:47

Alloveragain3 · 01/08/2023 19:03

I had this gut feeling I'd struggle to conceive and wohke need ivf and just couldn't imagine I'd ever be lucky enough to fall pregnant.

Too me 4 months to get that BFP!

😇Feels good to see im not the only one with bad feelings for NO reason, And that it's unfounded because the outcome is sometimes good!

OP posts:
Original poster
Internette · 01/08/2023 19:44

ComeAlongNow23 · 01/08/2023 19:05

You're still young, but if you get to 12 months with nothing happening, get the ball rolling in tests.

💪i will

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ComeAlongNow23 · 01/08/2023 19:05

You're still young, but if you get to 12 months with nothing happening, get the ball rolling in tests.

Whataretheodds · 01/08/2023 19:03

I think SMEP recommends every other day and then dat of ovulation and day after? Hopefully someone will be on to correct me!

The cycle 1 before before I got pregnant we did it > every day, but tested negative then I read on here that was probably too much. Next cycle we did every other day and I got pregnant. Not saying it's magic but I think there's something about the semen building up a decent concentration of sperm.

Alloveragain3 · 01/08/2023 19:03

I had this gut feeling I'd struggle to conceive and wohke need ivf and just couldn't imagine I'd ever be lucky enough to fall pregnant.

Too me 4 months to get that BFP!

Original poster
Internette · 01/08/2023 18:41

Aquamarine1029 · 01/08/2023 18:37

Anxiety and stress can definitely impact TTC, so try to relax and just enjoy life while trying to get pregnant. There's no reason to stop drinking entirely. Go out with friends and have fun!

Unfortunately, I know there are some things I can't change: I'm a doctor (and French, by the way!). I chose this site because the women there seem more informed, friendly and less shy about these subjects than French women).

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Original poster
Internette · 01/08/2023 18:39

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 01/08/2023 18:28

You've only tried four times.

Statistically speaking with no issues 97% of couples conceive within 12 month. 98% with 24 months

thank you for the reassurance

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 01/08/2023 18:37

Anxiety and stress can definitely impact TTC, so try to relax and just enjoy life while trying to get pregnant. There's no reason to stop drinking entirely. Go out with friends and have fun!

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 01/08/2023 18:28

You've only tried four times.

Statistically speaking with no issues 97% of couples conceive within 12 month. 98% with 24 months