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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

fed up with DH being too tired/too ill/ too something to do the "deed"..............

37 replies

herbgarden · 26/02/2008 22:29

Sympathy please......December, felt under pressure to perform, January both had the noro virus, this month, managed day 11 of cycle but wanted to have another go on Day 13 and DH says he feels ill again................aaaaaaaaaaaaargh (in fairness he looks rotten). I suppose I have to stop being so hard on him and be a bit sympathetic,,,but am getting frustrated. DH finding the whole thing "knackering" apparently.....is it that bad ?!!!!!!!!! Help ! Do you all suffer from unenthusiastic husband syndrome?

OP posts:
Original poster
herbgarden · 26/02/2008 23:16

I agree WiiMii that it is supposed to be spontaneous and fun but I think being 37 and hearing all the hype in the media about "old mothers" , having lots of friends now on no 2 highlights my anxiety about wanting no 2 - we also both work long hours so the fun and spontaneity seems to be slowly waning ............I know that's not ideal but it is hard to shift your mind set. I'm very conscious of dh feeling like a maching but I can't think of a way round it - If we had sex frequently then it might feel less pressured but we'd got lazy so now we are pretty much "trying" to conceive and are saving it for those times....we're quite good at it when we get round to it tho'

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WiiMii · 26/02/2008 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Davidsmom · 26/02/2008 23:03

Dont go there!!!!!

Have been depressing myself too by all the sad stories and only been trying officially for about 6 weeks.

Problem is I am still BF and thought had ovulated few weeks ago just before first AF and was really disappointed when got AF instead. Realised how much I wanted to have another.

Davidsmom · 26/02/2008 23:01

I sympathise. Think my DH was getting similar thoughts. I was "adding to his stress levels"- great.

Not BD was adding to mine!

Original poster
herbgarden · 26/02/2008 23:00

oh and I've found reading this section of MN a bit depressing - I have honed in on the secondary fertility threads.This train of thought is not good !

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Davidsmom · 26/02/2008 22:58

Know what you mean herbgarden we also got lucky with DS on pretty much the first attempt. So again my DH also thinks little effort is needed for another!

Original poster
herbgarden · 26/02/2008 22:54

we had tears on friday night. Apparently when I bluntly tell him "tonights the night" - it's too clinical. When I tell him "I'm off to bed [early] " it's too obvious....and I'm going to make it a "big issue" if I'm not careful. Well, if he can't be voluntarily enthusiastic then what else can I do ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some men are Sooooooooooooo lazy and love to stick their head in the sand. He did say when we had tears that he hadn't realised how upset I was about it (duuuurgh)....

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GreenGlassGoblin · 26/02/2008 22:43

Serious UHS in this house! Managed it 3 times last month, at 3 day intervals. All time record. DH needs a weeks notice Am currently wondering whether to throw an enormous strop when I turn out not to be pg this month to get him to realise how much it means to me and put some effort in!

Original poster
herbgarden · 26/02/2008 22:42

oh and ps he seems to think I'm getting hysterical.........

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Original poster
herbgarden · 26/02/2008 22:42

oh and ps he seems to think I'm getting hysterical.........

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Original poster
herbgarden · 26/02/2008 22:42

My dh worried about the baby "seeing"/"knowing" during first pregnancy ?! He was really turned off by sex during pregnancy - I think they like it or they don't....We managed to get pregnant first time last time with ds so dh seems to think that the same will happen this time with little effort. [hmmm] - what to do eh?

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Davidsmom · 26/02/2008 22:38

Hi, Like the syndrome-UHS!!!
Mine thought the idea was great ttc #2 but then came over all tired all the time. "If we had only gone to bed earlier", "felt ill", "put under pressure", "knackered".

And we had only been trying for a few weeks!

And he was moaning about the lack of it during pg and early months after birth of DS.

Good luck!

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