How old is too old to become a dad

That should say 20 not 29

It's fine z you could have a kid at 29 and get hit by a bus at 21 m. Could have a kid at 50 and live to 100. Could be a dad at 25 and not bother with your kid much or help out or you could become a dad at 52 and be all doting and adored by your child and visa versa. You just don't know.

Geez! Some of these answers seem awfully judgemental! The only one whose answer matters is your husband! If he embraces the idea of kids then surely that's the answer?

My Hubby was 41 when our son was born and we are TTC again now a couple of years later. No way my hubby seems too old. He is an absolutely brilliant dad and appreciates family life even more having lived a bit. He also has a 13yr old daughter and hasn't commented about things being harder this time round. He is plenty energetic and enthusiastic and my DS adores his Dad. Commenters who had children young and can't countenance parenthood of young kids in their 40s/50s are in a different season of life. Life happens differently for everyone. If the parents are happy with it and ready for the ride ahead then it's no-one else's business. Also, plenty of kids with younger parents grow-up without them around for various reasons. No guarantees in life. A life created by loving parents is an amazing thing. Good luck ❤️

How long have you been with DP? Does he want a child?
Do either of you have DC already?
If its early days and you want kids then sorry its probably not a relationship worth pursuing.
If you are in a long term committed relationship and you both want a child then best get on with it pronto!
Clearly its not an ideal age to become a dad, but life throws curve balls and sometimes you have to go with the opportunity youve got.
Having a child is a lifetime commitment, not just the baby stage. My oldest DD is 24 and has only just really clicked into adulthood, teenage years can be very challenging so its not just sleepless nights of having a baby or toddler tantrums.
I think you need to commit to staying fit and healthy, at 50 you can start to feel your age and can no longer get away with poor diet or no exercise, its more effort to keep fit and healthy.
People can suffer serious health issues at any age but the older you are the greater the chances.
I think its on the very cusp of being too old,average male lifespan is 80 so early 50s would be absolute cut off for me.
But importantly, if you want kids dont waste time on someone who isnt ready to commit to becoming a father, so if you both want a child get on with it !

My dad was 47 and it wasn’t an issue. Our friend was 61 and his dd is now 18. Again, no issue.

I wouldn't say he was too old. DH was 48 was DC1 was born, I was 35.
Totally depends on lifestyle and fitness.
He isn't Olympic fit but certainly runs round after the little ones, did his fair share of night feeds, etc.
Longevity isn't guaranteed for anyone!

I’m 40 now, kids are 18 and almost 16. I definitely wouldn’t want a young one now 😁. But if I didn’t have 2 already I might feel different

MN is very down on older parents, so I'd take the answers here with a pinch of salt. Maybe it's not the ideal age but almost everyone who has a baby is non-ideal in some sense. I'm also not sure what "unfair to the child" means unless you fear having an old dad is so bad it's better never to have been born.

Obviously the sensible things that all parents should do (eg making plans for what would happen if you died or became very unwell) are even more important with older parents.

Exactly. My 50 yo hubby is a super fit mountain biker. My dad had a spinal injury at 30 and was severdusabled most of my life. There are no guarantees

It's a very individual thing. My personal cut off when trying for a second (never happened) was 42 as I felt that having an 18 year old at 60 was my limit!

It depends more on their health, fitness, emotions and various factors other than age.

Some 50 year olds are far better equipped to have and love their children than some 20 or 30 year olds.

My husband was 47 when we had our first child and 49 when we had the second. I'm 10 years younger.

He didn't have the stamina that he might have done when he was younger. No doubt I didn't either. But it's ridiculous to say that having children at our age was unfair to our children.

He was never mistaken for their grandfather, because he looks younger than his age (now in his 70s and he still has plenty of hair which is it's original colour). In contrast, my father was 40 when my youngest sibling was born. He was often assumed to be our grandfather, perhaps because he went grey very young.

Way to old, unfair to the child to be saddled with a aging parent. My dad was a grandad when he was 48 let alone a new dad!

My instinctive thought was 50 but it really depends on the man. How active, fun etc he is or is he ready to slow down & moans when he has to get up?

individual preference! I can’t imagine if you wanted to have a chance and could provide a good life for them that you wouldn’t on the basis of age… people live a lot longer these days.
fwiw I lost my mother aged 23 (she was in her 50s) and other relatives at similar ages. As a PP said there are no guarantees in life either way. I’d get cracking if you’re both keen!

Will he be a good dad? Do you love him, can you imagine life without him or kids with him.

I think his age is fine, it's only 5 years above the mode average round here.

Completely individual choice. Does he feel it's too old?

My dad was late 40's when I was born. I'm now mid thirties, he's 81. It was his first marriage and he wasn't pressured into it. Which is a rather insulting statement Mande by a PP. I was aware growing up that my dad was similar in age to my friends grandad's rather than their fathers. But he's now very fit and active for a man in his 80's and can run rings around my 37 yr old husband. Alternatively my cousin died in his early 30's, leaving a wife in her 20's and two young children under 5. A child can loose a parent at any age sadly. Yes it's more common in older parents but that doesn't mean the child won't have a happy life.

My dad is 9 years older than my mum so when they had my younger brother my dad was probs 45/46? I was definitely aware that my dad was a lot older than my friends dads but I think the thing that has bothered me most is that he doesn’t really look after his health so I worry about him. My best friends dad was much younger but he died when she was 3 from cancer so I think flat out saying “it’s too old” is a bit black and white and lacks nuance. We don’t know what our future holds so we can only focus on what’s in our control. I think if I was to change anything I just wish my dad looked after himself a bit more. He’s still alive and he’s in his 70s and I’m in my 30s.

I work with a few men in second marriages
early 50’s with toddlers

very much get the impression they don’t enjoy it or have the same interest in there young. Kids as they did with there adult kids when they were younger

soft play and parties nightmare as often mistaken for grandad

think they just cave into pressure from new partners and don’t enjoy the fact they’ll be pensioners before there kids are independent

Yes. Quite a few studies say that having babies over 40 makes you live longer which could be because you're taking more care of ypur health but breastfeeding also massively reduces the chance of breast cancers.

Agree it depends on the individual, however personally I would draw the line at 45.

The story of your friend’s uncle reminds me of the singer Katherine Jenkins, whose dad Selwyn became a father to her and her sister at age 50+ and took early retirement to be a SAHD (Mrs J had a good job). Unusual in the early 1980s! She dedicates all her awards to him so he obviously did something right despite being older.

It varies from couple to couple, like many things.

I imagine that late parenthood encourages people to give up smoking and keep their BMI below 30 etc etc because they’re very keen to see their child into his or her twenties. Although I’ve no experience of it, so I don’t know if that is true .

I personally think 49 is too old. Raising a teenager when you’re in your 60s does not appeal at all.

It took us 5 years to have DS so DH had just turned 48 when he was born (I was 39). We did decide we couldn't face trying for a other though as our energy would have been too stretched.

DS is on a waiting list to be assessed for autism but that could have happened anyway as there are family members on both sides with it.

DS still has the 3 grandparents that were alive when he was born whereas I had lost 2 by his age.

I assume that it will be hard having a teenager when in our 50's/60's but then teenagers are hard work anyway! Clearly we won't be able to retire as early as we wod have done if DS hadn't come along but we wouldn't change being parents for the world.

Everyone is different so don’t worry about what others think and do what makes you both happy!

I’m 41 and love the independence I have started to regain as my dc are all in secondary school. Can’t imagine the needy stage again but I did love it at the time. My bil is 40 and his wife just had a baby. They’ve not done it before so it’s all new to them so I guess they feel different. I adore my nephew but I’m very happy to be the fun aunt and nothing more.