How old is too old to become a dad

Too old I think

Mine was around 30 when he had a spinal injury meaning he could barely walk again. I was 10 at the time.

I think 49 is fine. My Dad was 26 when I was born but had a brain haemorrhage at 34 and was ill for the rest of his life. You never know how life will turn out.

It's not necessarily "wrong" and it's the same if you have children with someone in a very demanding job, or who works away or has a time consuming hobby. You just need to think if it's something you can cope with without resenting them.

I have had to accept this. When i ask him to try for another (hes 50) i did say that i know i'll have to accept more of the responsibilities this time as i'm younger. So i guess you have to go in to it with eyes wide open really

My partner says by 40 he's too old.. but that's mainly because he has a bad back and is starting to struggle with energy aspect. He thinks he couldn't cope with the lack of sleep and keeping up with a child as they grow up now. But obvs some 60 year olds are fitter. So perhaps depends on how the individual ages and is in their health?

It's hard to say when it's too old but with you being the younger one I'd think about how you'd cope if your DH was to hit say 60, find his stamina flagging and start leaving more and more of the parenting to you. The fact is we age, exercise, diet, attitude whatever doesn't change that.

Oh no you are right. It’s one in 100 at 60 to 65

@mommabear64 i know, I was being a bit literal!
but the one in five is actually men who die between ages 60 and 65, and doesn’t include people who died before that age.

My father was 57 when I was born. He was a great father, lived to 104, and extremely active well into his 90s.

I’m 50 and my H is 48 and I can’t think of anything worse than becoming parents now! That said our kids are 17 and 14, I might feel differently if I hadn’t had any.

Let's not forget that children of older fathers have a higher risk of birth defects.

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230602-what-are-the-risks-of-being-an-older-father

If a man is not able to father a child when he's younger, through no fault of his own, becoming a father in his 40s is understandable if not ideal. But men who choose to delay fatherhood, or who already have children and choose to have more, in their late 40s and beyond are being irresponsible IMO.

It might not be a popular opinion, especially with the PPs who have had children with older men, but it's not being judgemental for no reason, it's about minimising health risks when possible.

Yes but hit by a bus is just a turn of phrase. The point it many people can die of lots of things from a young age. And 1 in 5 men includes men that died at a young age!

According to ONS, one in five men will die before age 65, in the uk.
the chance of dying by being hit by a bus in the uk is one in 27 million.

I appreciate that all experiences are individual, but there are also facts out there which can reasonably be used when weighing up a big decision.

Some weird responses on this lol. I don't think 49 is too old. You could have a child at 18 and be knocked down by a bus the next day, or become ill. Who knows what the future will bring. In this day and age 60s are not old, people well into their 70s are having active and meaningful lifestyles. If he's fitness is good and he's in good health and excited about it then I say go for it! There is definitely a "cut off" in my mind but it's not 49 for an otherwise happy and healthy person.

DH was 46 (I was 38) when DD was born.
He was happy to have her but wasn’t particularly involved in her early years. But from 10yo up they’ve had a great relationship, their interests and outlooks are similar. They’re also planning a road trip together this summer while I happily stay at home and look after the dog. He was the same with DS and ComiCon.
So don’t let age put you off, parenting can be done at any age!

Can't see a problem at all ... if he is good Dad material then go for it. People live longer now. And you could become a Dad at 25 and fall under a bus at 26.

Being more mature can often mean being more philosophical about life and better able to deal with the ups and downs.

My friend was 46 and her husband 54 when they had their first (and last). They got married when she was 29 and just left it up to nature and finally it happened and son is now 20 and they are all fit and healthy.
I was 43 and my husband 47 when we had our last. He died of a heart attack at 51, but that the way it is sometimes.

Depends if he already has kids? Bit weird and embarrassing for a 20 year old to have a newborn sibling. It’s all a bit Mick Jagger.

It’s a hard no from me.

For men, I would say up to 45 is fine, so that would be my cut off, although everyone is different.

I do think it is irresponsible for men to father children aged 50+.

Omg of course he isn't too old!!

I think it partly depends on other things, such as does he have kids already? If so then I’d say, dividing your attention is too much, no matter how old his kids are. And could mean he neglects one set of kids. But if he doesn’t have kids, is mature and financially stable, then I’d say 49 is right at the upper end but OK.

For me men’s age having kids should be judged the same as women, up to mid forties is still fine as biologically the body knows it can bring up that child to adulthood and beyond.

DH would state categorically it's 45 but that what age he was when we had 2&3 and that's just luck isn't it, meeting in time to squeeze in / put a few children in time.

If we were ttc no1. I suspect we'd think a few more years is fine

My dad is 50 and about to become a granddad. I’m in my mid 20s. My friend is the same age as me and her dad is in his late 60s and she’s sad he’s old now. This is just our experiences though.

OP at 38 you are going to be an older mum too. If you desperately want a child, then you need to go for it now.