Trying for baby #4 with a new partner

All the best for your new life and I hope you get all you wish for , baby and all ! X

There's no reason to think it won't happen, I think each month is only 1/3 chance so a perfectly fertile couple could take a year for no reason other than bad luck. In another 6 months or year maybe both go to doctor in case he's infertile (I'm assuming he's similar age to you)
Ignore the negative comments about your relationship, I'm glad you've found happiness and this gives me hope for what I want in the future after separating from my baby's father xx

When my parents divorced ( 3 kids 8, 5 and 2) I tried hard to please my mum by loving my very new step dad. Even called him Dad though I thought I was betraying my father. She wanted a 4th because he had none. I remember watching her giddily get ready to meet her new 'friend'. I remember asking her if it could just be us kids and her for a while. She laughed in my face and told me to stop being silly. Try to take things slow for your existing kids' sake. They need your focus and love.

Feels a bit of a competition. Ex has sodded off with new partner so I'm going to have a baby with mine... as if that trumps it.

I'd concentrate on the three you have. They're so vulnerable at the moment.

I pity the children in the middle of this shitshow.

So the OP and her dh are divorced and since then the dad has fucked off with a woman he’s known for five minutes and the mum is trying for another baby with a bloke she met and moved in with on the rebound.

And I don’t believe for a minute that a 13 year old is already asking when she’ll be getting a baby sister unless it’s been suggested to her.

Maybe take a bit of time so you can all heal from 16 years of hell with an abusive man.

Threads like this just make me 😩

Me and first partner spilt when dd was 6 months old.

Hopefully you approve of the gaps between my relationships. Even though I know the rules state on here I should have stayed alone forever and never consider having children again.

I fell pregnant 3 months in with my first partner that dd is now 11. Currently been with new partner 5 years and has taken 3 to get pregnant this time. I'm not far off your age.

Hope this is ok with everyone on this post 😂

I'm sorry but I agree with all the posters urging caution.

You've not been long in a relationship with this new man, your family has already been through a lot of changes. I'd slow things down a bit.

Firstly some of these comments are rude asf , 1 she’s a grown ass woman and 2 there’s no rule book of how many kids you can have and who with..it’s her life her choice not yours.
she didn’t come on here to get opinions about her divorce.

Has he moved into your house? Where did he live before?

The divorce is still all very recent and the fact that their dad has fecked off 5 hours away with his new GF is even more reason for you to focus on your current children. If your two youngest want a 'baby' I'd get them a pet instead. If, for whatever reason, this relationship doesn't work out and you have a baby, then things could end up even more complicated for your children. I'd give it a couple more years first.

On a completely different note - are you saying it will never happen just because it didn't happen the first two months?
Two months is nothing, what a slap on the face to everyone with fertility struggles.

'Since last year'
So at an absolute push, even if your divorce happened Jan 2022, you're only 16 months separated/divorced.
That's no time at all to meet someone, have moved them in and trying for a baby.
And no I'm not being sanctimonious, I split up with my husband last year. I can't even contemplate bringing someone into my kid's lives yet, though.

So you’re 32 and escaped an abusive relationship of sixteen years. Therefore, you were with him since you were fifteen or sixteen, and not really known anything else.

Please do not rush into anything new. Allow yourself time. Yes, maybe the comments do seem a little judgemental, but viewed from a different angle, people are concerned and care for you.

Gently OP, it's been a year since you left. Even if you met your partner straight away I wouldn't even have dreamed of introducing a new partner by that time, never mind moving in, the kids considering him a 'stepdad' and been trying for a new baby for multiple months.

You've been through 16 years of hell, you need more than 1 to recover. You've both jumped into another relationship too soon and moved much too quickly in it. This is how people end up jumping from abusive situation to another. After less than a year you do not know this man and should not be bringing another child into it. Take some time to work on yourself and identifying red flags. Do the freedom programme. Don't even think of having another child before you've been with him 2 years. Most times abuse starts when they think they have you trapped with pregnancy. You're 32 not 42.

Wanting a 4th child with a new partner? It’s all a bit Netmumsy…

Could have, but OP also says 'new partner' so my advice to someone with 3 existing kids and a new partner would still be to take it steady, regardless of how long ago the prior relationship ended.

New partner? Why are you rushing into things? Is he love bombing you?

Very judgy. If the kids are settled and everyone gets on and you can afford it then it’s none of anyone else’s business.

how long have you been trying this time @Elephant1991? as I said above you won’t always conceive within 2 months even if you did the other times. Every cycle renews itself and you have the same chance every time as long as no fertility issues.