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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

How long did it take in the end?

35 replies

SarahShorty · 24/05/2023 21:41

I'll just get straight into it; DH is 34, I'm 35 and we've been TTC for not quite 1.5 years, so not very long compared to some. I've heard 10+ years in the more extreme cases. We have male factor; low sperm (about 11million) but good motility.

We TTC naturally for about 10 months about 3 months after I turned 34. We had two chemicals about 6 months apart from each other. After the second chemical, we had a fertility MOT, and as a couple we were diagnosed with sub-fertility and got the result of low sperm. With that and worrying about my age, we jumped straight into IVF.

We had our first FET in March this year and that failed. I've lost most of the hope and excitement I started out with, we've had arguments, I've had on and off crying episodes which are getting less and less and I've got to the point where pregnancy announcements and the sight of baby bumps and newborns just makes me feel a bit 'Meh' now. It still stabs a bit and I hold back some tears, but I don't dissolve like I used to.

I briefly got into looking at pictures of baby grows on Google images, thinking that maybe if I looked at them long and often enough, that it would affirm that it will happen. I know it sounds silly.

My DH is very supportive. He's also more hopeful than I am. I am hopeful, I'm just more 'Whatever will be, will be'. I'd like 2 babies, though, honestly if we don't even get 1, I take comfort in that we did as much as we could. I just feel so exhausted. We can always get a dog I suppose 😂

I guess I'm just looking for some hope. Did you get there in the end? How long did it take?

Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
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kalixxx · 20/11/2023 14:28

@SarahShorty im so sorry to read this! 😔

It’s so cruel and unfair how difficult TTC can be.

I hope you’re doing ok and have lots of
love and support around you 🫂

DEtU · 20/11/2023 14:12

Oh @SarahShorty I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how upset and disappointed you must be.

mumsince2021 · 20/11/2023 13:40

Oh no @SarahShorty what a cruel outcome after such a long wait. I'm so sorry these losses and struggles to conceive are just awful 🫂

Beginningless · 20/11/2023 13:08

Oh I’m so sorry to hear this, hadn’t seen your thread before but I was very sad for you to get to this conclusion at the end. I hope you have support around you 💜

Original poster
SarahShorty · 20/11/2023 13:03

Hi ladies xx sadly it wasn't to be. I've been carrying around a blood clot encased in a gestational sac for the last 2 to 3 weeks. So I have to stop the medication and have a bleed and potentially pay a visit to the EPU to have retained products removed, although hopefully it doesn't get to that. I hope everyone is okay xx

OP posts:
Original poster
SarahShorty · 07/11/2023 13:54

@kalixxx Thank you! I had nausea on and off and some sharp cramps last week and the week before that, but nothing since and I'm worried that it's already over. My first scan at 7 weeks is on the 20th of November. I don't think symptoms or lack thereof is a concern, but I really want to know the baby is okay and healthy.

OP posts:
kalixxx · 07/11/2023 11:42

@SarahShorty omg amazing news!!!!! It's sooo nice to see you finally get your BFP! How are you feeling?!

@Angelselevenx That is very cruel!! Why do our bodies do this to us 😓

I'm on CD16 today, had a tiny bit of bleeding since CD14 which has never happened to me before, this was after DD so I'm a little concerned something is going on, I'm a worrier health wise 😅

Original poster
SarahShorty · 04/11/2023 20:52

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto thank you! xx

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 04/11/2023 19:07

Huge congratulations @SarahShorty Flowers

Original poster
SarahShorty · 04/11/2023 18:48

@Angelselevenx @mumsince2021 thank you! xx I'm so sorry about your chemical, though :(

OP posts:
mumsince2021 · 04/11/2023 17:49

Congratulations @SarahShorty you've waited long enough!

I've just had a chemical trying for my second forgot how awful TTC is with fertility issues

Angelselevenx · 04/11/2023 17:35

Congratulations @SarahShorty what lovely news!

@kalixxx I had 8dpo spotting along with a temperature dip and AF arrived 3 days later. Cruel 😅

Original poster
SarahShorty · 04/11/2023 14:48

So this happened 😳

The result of my third transfer this year. I had two embryos put in. I'm 17dpt today.

I legitimately cannot believe it!

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Angelselevenx · 03/10/2023 12:45

@kalixxx I'm sorry lovely, it's shit isn't it.

Definitely worth it I think! It's good even if everything comes back normal then it's peace of mind if not anything else.

Never too late I say, I'm currently 9DPO but didn't really use anything this month but think I'll try preseed every time next month and see if that does anything.

You too lovely, keep me updated xx

kalixxx · 03/10/2023 12:41

@Angelselevenx I’m now on cycle 10! Ive had no chemicals during this time, absolutely nothing is happening for me 🥲

Thats great that hertility tests all came back good! I’ve been tempted to do hertility, maybe I’ll look into it next month!

We’ve tried the fertilily and conceive plus lube. I think we’ll try pre-seed next month, left a bit late for this month as I think I’ll ovulate tomorrow.

Fingers crossed this is your month! And original poster and everyone else reading! 🥰

Yolo23 · 03/10/2023 00:21

@SarahShorty bless you! Yep… TTC can be all consuming and we have to remember that we have a life to live too - as hard as it is. I think a numbness to the situation is only natural unfortunately 😢

It does frustrate me sometimes when I think about how my body can’t do the simple thing it’s supposed to - but I seen a comment somewhere on here before saying about how much more our bodies can do than some unfortunate others and I guess perspective can help and sometimes you need to just have a sulk and tell perspective to F off 🤣 xx

Angelselevenx · 02/10/2023 21:35

@kalixxx how're you doing?

Hopping on here. Cycle 8 for #1, had a chemical in April but nothing since. Had hertility tests done and all came back normal for me, waiting on my progesterone test results from doctors but I have ovulation confirmed via bbt each month so will see what they say x

Original poster
SarahShorty · 02/10/2023 21:21

@Yolo23 that's a beautiful post, thank you xx

It's been 20 months now. I've officially reached the point of indifference at the sight of positive pregnancy tests, baby scans, baby bumps, pregnancy announcements and maternity leave etc. I feel nothing now. I don't cry and I don't feel frustration. Is this what being numb feels like?

OP posts:
Yolo23 · 31/08/2023 21:19

I’m 9dpo and we’ve been trying for around a year - however in a previous relationship (engaged and together almost 10 years), we tried for around 18 months. A diagnostic laparoscopy for endo, and an operation said we’d be ok to go however we had a chemica back in November and nothing since…
it is such a long road for some, and very much opposite to other peoples experiences sometimes. It’s a shame it doesn’t get talked more about - I make an effort to be really honest if I’m asked. We’re due to get married next year, if we’re lucky enough now it’ll put all our plans into disarray (honeymoon, hen party, even wedding…) but you cant live life on a ‘maybe it could happen’ - deal with it when it does and hope that it does ❤️🥰✨

Original poster
SarahShorty · 31/08/2023 18:24

13DPO today and have had some light brown mucus discharge. Sigh. I guess that's me out yet again. 18 poxy months. I just told my DH and he said he's having trouble feeling hopeful now. His parents had it so damn easy compared to us as it took them a couple of months each time for him and his brother, and we're going to see them this weekend, so that's going to be a lovely f*ing reminder. We're off work at the moment and nearing the end of a week-long break for our 9th wedding anniversary and thought maybe just for once we'd have some good news.

Sorry for the negative tone and the expletives, it's just so tiring.

OP posts:
Amyjones86 · 10/07/2023 16:32

4 years and 1 laparoscopy for my son. 12 months for my second son (currently 25 weeks) but had 5 miscarriages during that 12 months.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 10/07/2023 16:23

3 years. Started trying at 26, was just under 30 when I had DD1. 2 MC along the way.

But only 5 months for DD2.

curliegirlie · 10/07/2023 16:20

Forgot to say, am on cycle 18 right now! (DD1 took 10 cycles over 16 months, DD2 took 12 cycles, so I wasn't expecting it to be quick exactly, but it's now got so exhausting and depressing!). Ironically my MC last year was a surprise after a few missed pills...

curliegirlie · 10/07/2023 16:15

SarahShorty · 10/07/2023 13:25

So there was another pregnancy announcement just made at my work. That's two pregnancies and one birth in the time I've been trying. I'm happy for them, but it still really hurts. Unfortunately this time it really stung and I ended up having to take some time to process it and cry it all out.

I'm CD17 today and still no sign of ovulation. I've a feeling this will be another late ovulation like the last natural try off the back of an IVF transfer. I think the drugs are messing with my system.

God this is so crap.

Pregnancy announcements at work are rubbish aren't they?! My colleague has just announced, I think she was still on mat leave with DC1 when I had my MC last year just before I started my current role, so safe to say she's probably got pregnant relatively quickly and certainly had been trying for less than me, even if she's been trying the entire time she's been back!

I'll only been trying a few months more, as I already have 2 DCs and don't think I'll want to have another much past when I turn 42, so really that give me another 6 cycles or so, and thereafter I'll just have to be grateful for the wonderful children I have...

mumsince2021 · 10/07/2023 13:58

Also @SarahShorty I know a woman who had 2 failed IVF attempts then conceived naturally twice not too long after. The first was sadly a MMC but her second was full term and she now has a 1 year old daughter. So things can happen even when you think you need to go through IVF.

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