40+ TTC this year

If you're open to using donor eggs it doesn't matter if you've gone through menopause though. So you could try the injection and then even if your cycles don't go back to normal try donor eggs. Although that's not a path everyone wants to take, and it would be expensive. In most countries clinics will only treat you up to 50 though, so time is of the essence. But I think that attitudes towards fertility treatment can be a bit negative in the UK, and a bit more 'can do' elsewhere. Though of course no one can work miracles.

@KoraliaValentine i stayed in the U.K. I was referred to the fertility clinic by the NHS but they said there wasn’t anything they could do because I’d missed the cut off age for free IVF (I think it’s 42). So I then went private and was told that my numbers were okay and it was described as unexplained infertility. That particular hospital wouldn’t do the IVF because of my age so I went somewhere else private who specialised in IVF for over 45. They said they would do ivf until I had my fibroids removed. But then I went to see about that and they said that because they are so big that it could result in a hysterectomy! Either that or they could give me an injection that would temporarily put me into menopause for 6 months. But then I googled that and there are side effects if people not returning to normal and staying in menopause. So I just thought I’d leave it. The fibroids are on the outside of the uterus and shouldn’t affect my chances of conception. So I guess I’m just not meant to have a child 😔

My eggs seem to think they're about 42, even though I'm not, as only 6% of my embryos were chromosomally normal. I'd done supplements and fertility reflexology for over a year before IVF so it was devastating to lose 20 embryos. My eggs are just poor quality.

I went with IVF and PGT-A due to risk of aneuploidy, but have found it very physically and emotionally difficult. Made the decision to TTC in 2019 so I'm tired now. I got a good healthy embryo on Day 5 though so it's logical to keep trying. I'm still struggling with exhaustion and hot flushes and waiting for my period to return.

I have an appointment coming up to discuss another IVF here as it'd be much more practical, but I would l prefer to use an open ID egg donor if it were affordable.

Yes, I wasn't going to try IVF with my own eggs at all, but in the end felt like I'd like to know I gave it one shot. I haven't ruled out getting pregnant naturally again, but the doctor was clear that for IVF with my own eggs it was basically now or never, in terms of being worth it. The actual process so far has been easier than I expected, based on everything I'd heard and read, it's the waiting to see how they develop after retrieval that's the worst bit!

When they were still inside me I felt like I had some control. I made huge lifestyle changes and felt like I was doing something positive. Now they are in a lab miles away and I just feel powerless!

@KoraliaValentine I'm happy to try donor eggs of mine are not suitable but want to give it best shot. I know I can conceive just need it to stick and be healthy.

Thank you! We've had to go private, as where we live 40 is the cut off on the public healthcare system. We don't live in the UK, and it's a bit cheaper here, but not much. However we have limited resources, so if this doesn't work we plan to continue to try naturally for a year or two and then go to donor egg. Trying with your own eggs over 40 feels futile unless you have unlimited funds for lots of cycles.

Are you taking Coq10?

@KoraliaValentine meant to say hope all goes well that will be next option for us but will have to do it privately.

@KoraliaValentine i wonder if that’s been my issue. Hoping AF comes soon so I know where I stand. I get plenty of twinges and cramps on and off and have had mucus also.

I'm sorry. I had a scan at 6+1 but was told the baby was measuring 5 weeks and no heartbeat. A week later it had grown a little but still smaller than it should have been. Some cardiac activity but no measurable heartbeat. Told to wait 2 weeks before the next scan and by that point I'd miscarried.

I think I was told to wait because the d&c basically left me with no endometrium.

So much of this is waiting, isn't it. This is bad for me as I'm not naturally a patient person! Waiting for the phone calls from the lab is excruciating.

It is but I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic as there's still so little chance of an embryo to transfer. The clinic told me I'd need PGT-A testing and I didn't question it, but now am having doubts and thinking I'd like to transfer any blastocyst I can. Like you said, I'd take the risk of miscarriage for the chance of a miracle!

Can I ask if you went to fertility clinics in the UK, and if so if you ever sought a second opinion abroad?

@KoraliaValentine well
we have been trying. Mine was all natural at 8 weeks but baby stopped growing at 5+5 only the day before we saw a heartbeat but was very slow.

I had a D&C for MMC last year and I was told my next period would come as normal but it took 5 weeks and 2 days. I knew I wasn't pregnant as we had been told not to try until after my next period, but it did take a while and I remember being anxious as to why it hadn't come.

@KoraliaValentine i had a small spotting bleed about 28 days after mc but now waiting for period and on CD32 and no sign of anything. 3 days ago OPK started to rise but now seems to have gone down again to not even really showing a line at all.

My last period was 4 days late and I was desperate to be pregnant because it was my last chance to conceive naturally before the IVF. Two negative results then it came on the 4th day, late afternoon. It's all just such a slog, emotionally.

I fell pregnant in December but miscarried beginning of Feb. Now trying again but periods haven’t returned yet currently 4 days late but all tests are negative. Just turned 43.

@KoraliaValentine thats brilliant news that 9 of the eggs have fertilised.

Can I join? I'm 42, been trying for a year and a half. Got pregnant last autumn but ended in a MMC at 10 weeks. We knew it was coming as had gone private for early scans and knew the baby wasn't growing at the normal rate from 6th week.

Decided to have one shot at IVF with own eggs. Had egg retrieval on Sunday, and found out yesterday that 9 eggs have fertilised. Of course there are still really low odds of this resulting in an actual baby, so trying not to get my hopes up too much!

Edited to add that this would be my first baby.

@summerbreeze2000 i use the ovulation strips. I also track everything on an app. The app predicts my fertile window and I start testing as soon as I enter into that time. It’s generally accurate give or take a day. I used two apps but one was completely off. I can also feel slight pain like period pain (but it’s ovulation pain) and that gives me an idea too.

@unicornglitter123 im in exactly the same boat. I’ve been trying since2020 and I’m now 47. Unfortunately it didn’t work for me (although I’ll not give up). I’ve been taking so many supplements and reading about nutrition. I obsessively read posts on social media and my hope is that sometimes I come across people posting about grandmothers having healthy babies in their late 40s or even early 50s (before IVF).

@Tillyminny can I ask how you know when you ovulate?
Sometimes it can be later / earlier

@digitalmeta ?

@summerbreeze2000 i think there was only one last time I had a check. My periods and ovulation are like clockwork though. When I first started trying I had a good number of follicles but they rapidly declined. The only hope I have now is when I read stories about women generations ago (before ivf) who got pregnant in their late 40s or even 50. Sometimes they pop up on feeds on social media and I get a little Ray of hope. But realistically I know i should give up x

@Tillyminny have you thought about getting an ultrasound to check for follicles ?
I had one done when I was 40 and it gave me a clear indication of how many follicles I had per ovary. And if there was a dominant one. There was and of course we relaxed...3 months later we conceived.

I go a lot on relaxing but it's really hard when you know you are knocking on the door of menopause...

I turn 46 in August so I'm not holding out much hope now.

Periods are regular though...

@summerbreeze2000 yeah…part of me thinks ‘just give up’ because you hear stories of how people give up after years of trying then get pregnant as soon as they give up. But then I think if I give up the universe might listen to me and push me into menopause 🙄 . I take sooo many supplements too x

@summerbreeze2000 ah your message made me laugh 😂. I’ve been to fertility clinics but they said that it wouldn’t be ethical because I have fibroids so I’d need to get treatment for them. So I went to see about that but the only options for me are things that interfere with fertility and would likely end in a hysterectomy. So I suppose I’d rather live with a minute chance of s miracle than no chance whatsoever. The fibroids are actually on the outside so wouldn’t interfere with an embryo sticking. It’s just the clinic didn’t think it was ethical because it there is more chance of miscarriage. I’ve heard of Flo and was thinking of giving it a try but currently using Bellabeat which always predict my ovulation correctly and day 1 of my period x