Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Is 37 too much old to have a third child?

155 replies

summerfinn · 30/04/2023 19:53

Is 37 too risky to have a third child? Are the chance of having a disabled child too high to risk it. Would a healthy 37 year old be putting their health at risk by having another child at this age. Also is it unfair on the child to have an older parent? Thoughts please?

OP posts:
Stephhh87 · 30/04/2023 21:30

SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2023 21:03

Yeah i knew that about the non identical, I'll revert to blaming DH and his mighty sperm. Apparently the runs in family thing is not well known as mine as clearly identical and everyone asks for mine and DHs family history.

“Blaming DH and his mighty sperm” 😂

did you find it easy to tell your babies apart as newborns? I know someone who has identical twins and the first 3 months they painted the toe nails on one baby so they could tell them apart 😂

spidersenses · 30/04/2023 21:30

Many women at starting to have kids at 37.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 30/04/2023 21:28

Of

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 30/04/2023 21:28

She asked if it was unfair on a child to have a mum that old, which is a totally different thing.

I'm sure younger mums wouldn't like the same thing being asked in such a way.

If you already know risks are (slightly) elevated, that's it.

If you want to chat and sound off about what's right for your family, go for it. Don't ask for people's opinions on whether 37 is "much too old" to have a baby.

Off course the question was inflammatory, and designed to get backs up.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 30/04/2023 21:28

I had my children at 19 and 24, both have disabilities.
Age doesn't have much to do with it.

Tailfeather · 30/04/2023 21:27

AlltheFs · 30/04/2023 19:56

Don’t be ridiculous.

I had my DC at 41. Are you deliberately trying to be insulting?

Ha! Quite! I was 40.

Jk987 · 30/04/2023 21:27

You should be thinking about slowing down at your age. Take up knitting and start thinking about retirement 🙄

Abacusporttaco · 30/04/2023 21:25

Worriedmotheroftwo · 30/04/2023 21:20

Society may have changed but science hasn't!

Meaning?

Marigoldilock · 30/04/2023 21:23

And I've no idea why women here are taking this personally when, as a pp said, the concept of 35 being the beginning of the danger zone was drummed into many of us. I had my last baby when I was 39 and knew I was definitely creeping towards 'older pregnant woman', if not already there. It didn't make me feel anything other than extra relieved that everything happened quickly and the baby was fine. I'm not offended by OP's post at all and think it's a fair enough question, one I wondered myself.

LighterNights · 30/04/2023 21:21

No. I had my dd at 38, she's 17 now and lights up my life.

Worriedmotheroftwo · 30/04/2023 21:20

Society may have changed but science hasn't!

Dungaree · 30/04/2023 21:19

37 is hardly an older parent. 47 yes. Having children in your 30s is the norm now so any child with a 37 year old parent will blend in.

updin · 30/04/2023 21:18

A lot of people seem to be taking this unnecessarily personally. We all grew up with the message that 35+ was a "geriatric" pregnancy, it was spoken about widely, I certainly had it drummed into me, the only positive thing people could say to me when I was pregnant young was that I was a "healthy age for it"!

That may be outdated now but those feelings haven't come from prejudice but previous medical advice! perhaps all these people laughing at the ridiculousness of the question would be able to provide some actual evidence as to why the OP needn't worry rather than laughing, insulting or giving random anecdotal stories. If you're so sure of how fine it is, that shouldn't be difficult!

Abacusporttaco · 30/04/2023 21:17

So you has your first at 22, but also have a three year old? And you’re struggling to imagine being a mum again at 37?

Come off it. Like fuck this wasn’t meant to be a antagonistic.

I’m annoyed that you’ve antagonised me and made me feel a bit shit.

Marigoldilock · 30/04/2023 21:14

I came on mumsnet when I was 38 and asked if I was too old to have a third baby and so many people told me it was too risky and selfish, and not fair on my existing kids (and the planet). I ignored everyone and got pregnant straight away, easy pregnancy, healthy baby, perfect little toddler now.

Thepossibility · 30/04/2023 21:10

Businessflake · 30/04/2023 20:55

Well you could do some research instead of insulting half of mumsnet.

One would assume asking a forum of mothers is research.
I am of the demographic and fail to see how she is insulting me.

ttcat37 · 30/04/2023 21:07

37 too old for a baby? Cheeky fucker.
Read the room!!

SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2023 21:05

summerfinn · 30/04/2023 20:40

It was never my intention to hurt anyone's feeling or insult an older mum. You just read about the stats for downs the older you get the more likely. That terrifies me. I have 14 year old , a three old and I'm almost 37. I am considering another.

If you're terrified of having a child with a disability, I'd factor in early genetic screening so you can make a decision as early as possible.

DeerWatch · 30/04/2023 21:03

I had my 3 when I was 36, 38 and 40. My youngest has a CHD but that has nothing to do with me being older when I had her.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2023 21:03

Stephhh87 · 30/04/2023 20:39

I think identical twins where the egg splits is more a random occurrence.

two separate eggs either with increasing age (since you’re ovaries are like ‘hey I’m running out I better release more’ (something like that) or it runs in families.

Yeah i knew that about the non identical, I'll revert to blaming DH and his mighty sperm. Apparently the runs in family thing is not well known as mine as clearly identical and everyone asks for mine and DHs family history.

Thepossibility · 30/04/2023 21:03

I was fitter when I had my third at 37 than when I had my first two in my twenties. Better pregnancy and labour.
I did get a comment from MIL that there would be comments at the school gate because his mum looks so old compared to everyone else.
I don't, I think the really young mums are more rare these days.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 30/04/2023 20:59

Ancient and butt hurt 😅

Erm, nope.

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 30/04/2023 20:58

Personally I don't think it's too old. I am currently pregnant with my second and I will be close to 37 when they arrive all being well. No one has mentioned to me that they think I am too old but not told many people yet.

There is a slight increase in risk but it is still fairly low when you do your research. Like others have said you can also have the NIPT test as well. I have a few friends who had babies in later 30s and early 40s and all has been ok. It's all down to personal preference etc x

Taxitaxiforever · 30/04/2023 20:56

summerfinn · 30/04/2023 20:40

It was never my intention to hurt anyone's feeling or insult an older mum. You just read about the stats for downs the older you get the more likely. That terrifies me. I have 14 year old , a three old and I'm almost 37. I am considering another.

Yes I definitely did not read your post as an insult and you are correct that generally the older a Mother is the higher the risk of problems,particularly Downs .
There is screening available to reassure you and I personally think you are being very sensible to factor in the risks with your decision making.
Try and not be offended by some of the replies …!

RelentlessMother · 30/04/2023 20:56

Must be so hard/annoying to post stuff here.

“are you trying to be deliberately insulting?”

the post isn’t about any of you people. OP is simply asking a question.

you are just ancient and butt hurt.

and no OP you’re fine. My aunt had a baby at 47.

Swipe left for the next trending thread