Is 37 too much old to have a third child?

Rude and disrespectful! She was asking a question. Has OP innocent question touched a nerve ?

I actually asked my midwife when I got pregnant with dc3 was it much higher risk. She advised that as I was fit, healthy, had a healthy BMI it wasn't and they are now looking at those factors more than age.

Good for you! I'm not but I think you do tend to make friends with people at similar life stages to you, so I don't think it's unusual that all your friends do X and mine do Y. That doesn't mean either is more common or 'right' than the other. Plenty of people have their first children in their mid 30s. Plenty of people have them before.

I think the most relevant considerations are : there will be a big age gap between all your children (even the middle child that’s a big gap), are you in good health (eg healthy bmi, blood pressure etc) and can you afford it / do you have appropriate accommodation and a car for a family of 5; will you need to cut down on holidays etc.

I had my third at 38. Admittedly he was unplanned but I wouldn't change him for the world. We all adore him. My first born child who I had at 31 has disabilities. My other children who were born when I was 36 and 38 dont. It's definitely with considering how you will cope with disabled child though.

I am 42 now and wouldn't even consider having anymore but that's more because I have 3 and the youngest is nearly 4.

@Abacusporttaco yes, I hadn't thought of the last two points, which make a lot of sense.

Righteo.

@Hugasauras nice try, but I and most of my friends are university educated The places I've lived range from very deprived to very wealthy areas. Late 30s would be very unusual and 40+ almost unheard of.

No and I’m a bit shocked you are thinking it possibly is?!? I’m aiming for number two maybe around then; if I have a no. 2 that is. My mum had her third at 40 and her fourth at 42! So not at all imo

It can be a socioeconomic thing, yeah. Some people prioritise travel, income, career and prospects, before settling down. For some, the other things prevent the ‘settling down’ due to lives being busy and international.

For some people it’s a fertility issue. The causes of which can often remain unknown.

Some just don’t happen upon the idea of children until they get older.

Sorry posted too soon! No, it's not too late--plenty of people I know including myself had babies in their late thirties, even first babies let alone second. Don't worry about it, and don't let it stop you. There is a lot of misinformation about late pregnancy but in general you're safe enough in your thirties.

Hope not as I'm expecting my 2nd now and will be 37 by the time he/she arrives...also not ruling out a third after that!

No.

@Abacusporttaco ah, so this is a London thing?

I’m guessing none of those areas straddled Zone 1/2.

Exactly. I can't believe that posters are getting so offended when the risks for older mums are higher. The risks are only slightly elevated, but they are raised, nonetheless. Maybe it doesn't feel nice being described as an older mum, but facts should come before feelings every time.

I doubt it, but I suspect it's more about demograph. Most of my friends haven't started families till their mid 30s as they've gone to university, forged a career, etc. I don't have any friends who have been younger than 31 when having their first baby and most have been 32-35 with a couple in their late 30s. Other people will have the opposite experience where everyone has started having kids at 22!

I had my 3rd at 39 (4 days away from turning 40) and she's perfectly fine. But I have to say it varies for everyone and even though I am an older mum, I had my other two at 24 and 30 and they were a hell of a lot easier during the pregnancy.

I wish people would stop banging on about how very normal it is. Do you all live in the same place?! Because I've lived in 2 countries, different villages/towns and cities, and 37 would be considered older in all of them.

Medically yes, is it old unfortunately. People can say that they had a healthy baby and were absolutely fine having a baby at 40 etc, but statistically yes you are more likely to have a disabled baby and greater risk to maternal health the older you are. It's not personal and it's not an attack on older mums. It's just medically factually correct.

I had my second at 37 and it felt like a totally normal age to be having a second child. My age was never mentioned at any appointments, I had a textbook pregnancy and a healthy baby. Loads of people have babies at 37. Did you make a typo and mean 47?!

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie she asked if it was unfair on a child to have an older parent not as you worded it "old mum", after a stream of risk related questions, I don't think the question is inflammatory, I'm sure it's a question all mums ask of themselves, when considering having a child, the impact their age will have. I'm sure the OP has had a barrage of comments in her life about having a child young so she is mindful of the impact age can have and now wondering as she is towards the latter end of her fertile years.

Obviously older maternal age does increase various pregnancy, birth related risks. However, if you’re generally healthy, the overall risk of things like serious birth complication are still reflectively low.

I’m 38 with 2 kids and personally I absolutely wouldn’t do a third. that’s mainly for other reasons though (not wanting to deal with the sleep, not wanting to start again with a newborn). Age wouldn’t stop me if I really wanted a third. Though I would be wanting to do it pretty soon.

I've had kids in my teens and twenties and in my thirties.

That's 30s one was rough.

Hats off to the 40s Mums. Superwomen.

I would have a baby late 30s or 40s if it was my first. Wouldn't risk it for a third.