Trying to conceive over 40 part 4

Hello - I realise this is a thread that has been going for a while but I've been over on the infertility boards for years. I'm 44 (DH same age) and we have a wonderful 2.5-year-old daughter who was conceived through IVF in South Africa. We had two euploid embryos left after the successful pregnancy with her and stupidly I thought that one would just take and hey presto, a sibling would be here already!

Of course, life doesn't always work like that and we had two failed transfers and went back to the drawing board but in the Czech Republic when I was 43. Three failed rounds later - fairly decent number of embryos but all abnormal, a bout of OHSS on the last collection leading to ovarian torsion and removal of left ovary and tube (I decided to go out with a bang) and we are moving forward with a donor egg through the London Egg Bank. Have our first consultation tomorrow with one of their Drs.

Feeling more hopeful than I have in a while, whilst also trying to guard my heart. It's amazing how resilient infertility makes you, but it's not a resilience that I want to have and certainly wouldn't wish on anyone else.

My apologies for not having read through all the pages but I would love to hear from anyone else who has gone/is going down the DE route.

@TT82 Thank you - we've got everything crossed as well!!

Sorry to hear your husband is having a hard time - this is so hard on everyone involved. I hope that you are able to make a decision that you are both happy with soon.

@BertLiv I have everything crossed for this transfer for you!!!!
You are doing already already everything 1000% right, so try to take it easy (I know easier said than done) and enjoy this moment

We are stuck with my husband (well more him), OE don't work, so only DE is our chance. But as he was behind all the research, thinking..bad news after last EC hit him and he is going through the grieving process, more as it is second infertility, maybe just to stop everything... I am ready to move with DE and actually fast as know you need to be lucky if it works first time. But understand both of us need to be ready.. So have to patiently wait

Hello Ladies,
How's everyone doing?
So, we have our next transfer booked for Thursday and I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I'm trying desperately to make sure I've got everything organised - food etc - so that our third time might be the lucky one!
I've done a meal plan for the 2ww, bought tons of good food to make sure I get my 5 a day and have purposely planned very little, to avoid any stress. I've also got a list of questions, as usual, for the nurse, some of which I think have asked before, but I want to be 100% sure about the answer!
If this one doesn't work, we'll need to find a new donor and, more importantly, have to try to figure out why they're not working, which is probably one of the most frustrating things as there's nothing we can do differently to make it work.
Sorry for the mini-rant but, as I say, no matter what I do, I just can't get it out of my head - goodness knows how I'll be after the transfer!
Hope everyone else is doing well.
Xx

@TT82 i totally get that. I have two DC who are grown up but my DH has none we met later in life. We both want a DC together. Son will look at all
options

good luck xx

@Rosyposy26 unfortunately my worries are not about genetics abd how I feel, I am fine fully, my daughter treats and views my husband as her dad, we already a mixed family so to say. It is more I worry the child will suffer to be different and we might not be able to support it etc. Like question of half genetic siblings is the most difficult for some reason. But I am planning to talk to DCN and seek advise there.
If anyone knows good DE counsellor please let me know 🙏 I need guidance on some questions

@tt82 I totally get regarding DE but remember you will grow that bean and it will take on you. I was adopted and I was always told it’s 20% nature and 80% nurture. If it doesn’t work out for me I will consider DE sending you lots of love.

@YellowLoafers , @BertLiv , @praying4babba , @Rosyposy26 thank you all for your support!! 🙏 I kind of expected but then there was a tiny hope still.. Luckily she didn't email me at the beginning of the week on my birthday day 🫣
Now need to start arranging calls with clinics and egg banks to understand our options (though I am still not 100% sure on DE)

I’m so so sorry @TT82 Sending you much love x

@TT82 I'm so sorry to hear that😞sending you a massive hug and lots of love. Try to stay strong and look after yourself - although I know that's a lot easier said that done. x

We have our nurse consultation on Tuesday to get our next round started and I'm hoping there won't be too much longer to wait. We tried naturally again this month, as we had a month with nothing happening, and I prayed that we might have a miracle, but I think AF is on her way, and that she'll arrive before Tuesday and so we'll have to wait until day 21 to start - the waiting is awful.

@TT82 I am so so very sorry, my heart bleeds for you. Go through the emotions and take time. WE are about to do a round of IVF , they do not do testing here which I know is incredibly risky but just holding hope that something will work for us. It HAS to happen at some point, that is what we pray for daily xx Thinking of you and i will keep you in my prayers x

@TT82 sending you lots of love.

Morning, just received our testing results, all uneuploid 😞 fully in pieces.. 3 rounds, 10 tested and nothing to transfer...

Sending you lots of love @praying4babba I’d be lost without this board.

So sorry @praying4babba . It’s just such a really shit time. Are you having tests done on the pregnancy tissues?

My miscarriage at 11+5 after a lovely heartbeat scan was still chromosomal - but not age related (although EPU really wanted me to believe it was my fault due to my age) - it was a spontaneous issue of Turner’s Syndrome .

Look after yourself, as much as you can xx

@praying4babba I’m so sorry 😞 you poor things. I can’t imagine how hard that must be. I have no idea how people manage this journey without being all consumed by it. I found yesterday very hard, which I guess is expected.

I hope you’re doing ok as possible. Look after yourself and hope the check up goes ok and sheds some light. Xx

@praying4babba 😔😔😔😔 so sorry!! And that is after seeing the heartbeat.. cannot imagine even what you are going through!
Hope dr will have some suggestions on the tests. I thought after heartbeat it is not chromosome abnormalities? Maybe something else that they can fix
Just take xare of yourself xx

@BertLiv I am so sorry 😔 we miscarried on Thursday evening and have gone through a weekend that I want to omit from my memory as soon a s possible. Had a d&c on Friday and back at doc waiting for check up. I feel like this is my life at the moment and I literally can not think about anything else. Feeling there definitely has to be a cut off time or I need to learn how to manage this better as I am consumed by this journey.

Thanks.
We’re going to ask if they’ll do some tests, but last time there were no tests apparently as it was likely that it was a chromosomal issue with the embryo.
At least we’ve still got one embryo frozen.

A few people have said they’ve heard of people who had much better experiences with clinics when they paid privately - has anyone else heard/experienced this?

@BertLiv this infertility process really cruel, so sorry 😔 Will the dr do some tests/investigatiob before the next FET?
Just take care of yourself xx

Morning Ladies
Tested this morning and unfortunately it was another BFN. Not sure why they are not working, but hopefully the clinic may be able to shed some light. I am waiting for a call from the nurses. We have one embryo left, and I'm hoping there isn't too much of a delay before we can try again.
I feel numb. This process is truly hideous.

@TT82 I'm going to hold out as long as possible. OTD is a Wednesday though, so I might speak to my husband about whether we should test on the Sunday, as then we'll both be home.

@praying4babba Congrats on hitting 7 weeks! The scan must have been amazing! I think the waiting is one of the hardest bits about all this!

I'm trying to stay positive, but after over 3.5 years and so many BFNs, I just don't want to get my hopes up. So, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and keeping everything crossed!

@praying4babba ooooo what an amazing news 🥰 yes no relax yet, but to see the heartbeat is such a beautiful milestone!!
I was on norethisterone, usually women are okish, but I develop every time a nee side effect, my body doesn't like to be without hormones 🙈😅

Hi everyone!! @BertLiv ah I am holding out every thing for you !! So i went to the doctor with a bad tummy , trapped wind, aching swollen tummy. It was so uncomfortable. So so uncomfortable, I asked for an injection of Buscopan and they gave me one but it did not really do anything. I also got a positive after that! I a praying that is a positive sign for you !!
@TT82 gosh what down reg meds do they give you ? That sounds terrible I am so sorry.
We are currently 7 weeks today, had a scan last Friday and saw the flutter of our little bean's heartbeat. It was so beautiful. It was slow but they said we have to have another scan on the 8March for follow up. Guys this waiting is driving me mad. It is awful. I just want to be able to relax and celebrate but i have the HUGE guard around my heart and feel i will only be able to relax and be excited after 12 weeks. We are only 7 weeks, I feel like it has been 7 months lol