Trying to conceive over 40 part 4

@pcmod and @TT82 Thank you. Yesterday was hard, but I've been quite busy with work, which has been a good distraction.

I've now got a list of possible new clinics and prices etc. Unfortunately, where we live seems to be a blackspot, so they are all over an hour away, and the main clinic for the one we like is 3 hours away! But, it's not like we'll be going there every day, so it's ok. We just need to make the decision. I know I should probably take some time to recover (I'm not even off my meds yet!) but I'm very bad at just letting time go by - I feel like way too much time has passed with nothing happening since we started this.

To clarify, I'm not off my meds as the nurse said to keep taking them until Monday. Not sure why as it's always been two days before...I'm not holding out much hope though as we had this exact situation after both of our first two rounds.

@BertLiv sending my hugs and support!! 💔
Just look after yourself, you need time. And after be strong to find a solution..

Ah @BertLiv i’m really sorry to hear that! My heart really does go out to you. I know the disappointment of getting a BFP and can only imagine what it’s like when you’ve gone through that whole process first. This whole ttc is horrendous.
Hope you get some time to look after yourself. Imagine they’ll be a whole host of emotions to deal with so try and do whatever you need to get through it.

@MariaDingbat and @pcmod Thank you, but unfortunately it was not third time lucky for us as another negative test. Feeling quite numb at the moment and trying to keep myself busy by doing research on which clinic we might move to and costs etc. I was quietly confident this time, as I had some different symptoms to the previous rounds. I'll keep taking the drugs for today and tomorrow as they always say to do, but don't think the result is going to change.😔

Good luck for test day tomorrow @BertLiv. Keeping everything crossed that it’s good news for you.

@BertLiv Cyclogest is the worst! I've had to take it for 6 months in all (front end) and what I found helped was to insert it, then lie down for 30 minutes (catch up on work emails!) then go to the toilet and that gets most of it away, is less messy and greatly reduced irritation. Fingers crossed for you!

@pcmod Thank you. Luckily, the front end seems to be a bit better, but I've discovered that I'm also allergic to pantyliners, but I have solved that by wearing my thin period pants and reusable STs.

I decided I would have tiramisu on Saturday - partially because I love it, partially because the person taking us to lunch knows I love it and would have found it odd if I didn't have and, finally, because I realised the amount of alcohol in it is very minimal. And our clinic nurse said it was alright to have a small glass of wine on Christmas Day after our first transfer, and that would definitely have been more alcohol!

Two days until test day...🙏

@BertLiv Gosh that sounds horrible with the Cyclogest. I’ve used them before and found one a day annoying enough and I was going round the front end! Hope your symptoms have calmed down a bit since swapping. It’s pretty wild the stuff we go through! Well hope you at least get chance to relax at the weekend.

@pcmod yes, one week down today and one to go!

I’ve decided I hate cyclogest. I’m taking 3 a day and they are causing chaos, my backside is so sore from going to the loo and I’m SO gassy. I’ve swapped to the front end today in the hope that it helps! Sorry for all the gory details, but thought at least some of you would understand! It’ll all be worth it in the end!

@BertLiv That does sound really promising to me, especially if it’s not something you’ve experienced before. Keeping everything crossed for you. The waiting is hard but think that’s all you can do keep busy and wait it out. Are you nearly one week down and one to go?

@pcmod I've looked it up and it looks like 5dp5dt is the equivalent to 10dpo. I've never had it before and I really hope it was implantation bleeding. I haven't had any more today, just some minor cramps and felt sickly hungry this morning. I guess I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and keep hoping and praying!

I think anything different is a good sign! It is such a nightmare with symptom spotting, as it seems different for anyone. Do you know how many dpo you’d be classed as now? I know round the 6-10 dpo days mark spotting is often a good sign! Not sure how that works with transfers though, still imagine spotting would be a positive thing.

@TT82 and @pcmod thank you. I think I’ll probably just play it by ear and see how I feel on the day. You’re right that they’ll be so little of anything in it, it is unlikely to make a difference.

On a separate subject, I had some (sorry, TMI) brown discharge when wiping twice today and my boobs seem less sore than normal…not sure if these are good or bad signs, but haven’t had them for either of my other transfers…

I would as really wouldn’t imagine it would contain much. You could always ask the restaurant how much alcohol is in there. Though it really does depend on you. If you’ll eat it, enjoy it and forget, then go for it. If you’ll spend your time after worrying about it and possibly beating yourself up about having it I’d say it’s not worth the stress.

I’d really not stress too much though, so many people must drink within that time without realising they’re pregnant and have a happy, healthy pregnancy can’t imagine one tiramisu will matter. Though I’m not sure if that mirrors the experts advice!

@BertLiv hi, yes I would!!!! 😋😋😋 Enjoy, I think most important that you are relaxed and happy (as much as it is possible) this TWW

Morning Ladies
Hope you're all well?
Quick question - would you eat tiramisu in your TWW? We are being taken to lunch on Saturday to a restaurant that has amazing tiramisu, but I don't know if I should risk it or not...I've read a variety of things online from it contains so little alcohol (if any) it won't matter, to avoid it completely.
I asked our clinic nurse but she didn't really have an answer as didn't know what it was.
What do you all think?
Xx

@loulamay I wouldn't worry about being annoying! I have definitely been annoying in the past - sometimes it's the best way to get things done! My rule is there is nothing wrong with a bit of pestering as long as you're polite!

I'm the annoying keen new client that emailed them this morning at 8am to ask hahahaha! Hoping it will happen soon because we're going on holiday on Monday so we'll have some free time to sit together and have a look through!

@loulamay Thank you!

Glad the consultation went well. I found looking for a donor both exciting and initially stressful as when we were given access, there were no donors even close to what we wanted. But, they come and go very quickly, so we still managed to find one within a week, and London Egg Bank have more donors anyway. They didn't use a photo, just asked for our physical attributes, although we then had access to the whole egg bank, not just people that matched. We could see the donor's ethnicity, height, hair colour, weight, eye colour, BMI, skin tone and whether they had children. Once we'd selected one, we were then sent more information, including what they did for a living and a personal statement from them. When do you think you'll be registered and get access?

@BertLiv that's very exciting! Good luck with the TWW! (although I am a chronic early tester so I never make it that far...!).

Great consultation and so next step is to get registered on their database and start looking for a donor! How did you find that part? Did they help you with any matching using a photo or did you go more for what the donor was saying about themselves/personality/likes? I'm excited to start looking!

Transfer done! Embryo was an expanded blastocyst 2-2, which is apparently pretty good. All went fairly smoothly, after she found my cervix that is, as it did it's usual hiding trick! We even stopped for a McDonalds on the way home - I'm sure the chips thing is a myth, but figured it was worth a try! I felt quite emotional this time, throughout the whole thing, and still do. But I guess that's expected.

Now for the good old tww...

@loulamay welcome! 🤗

@praying4babba thank you! I’ll do my best to stay positive and I like the idea of envisioning our baby - so I’ll do that too! Xx

@BertLiv praying here for you that third time is a charm!! Everything crossed!! Good luck!! Stay positive and envision your baby xx

@loulamay Welcome!

We're also going down the DE route. I'm 40 and my husband is 42. We tried IVF with my eggs in January last year, but the round was abandoned as my follicles didn't grow enough. We then tried naturally for 6 months while I took letrozole and nothing happened, so we moved on to DE. We had our first round in December and our second in February, neither of which worked sadly. There were no issues, so we're just praying that our next round works! My third transfer is actually tomorrow (excited/nervous!) and, if that doesn't work, we'll have to find another donor, consider whether to stay with the same clinic and, either way, pay some serious money! But we've been very lucky so far as, because our natural round was abandoned, we got the first and second DE rounds on the NHS.

Hope your consultation goes well tomorrow!