Trying to conceive over 40 part 4

Hey lovelies ❤️

@TT82 im so sorry ❤️ I had the same results with OE and it totally devastated me. It’s a really tough blow. If you’ve got a detailed report of the abnormalities you can look up what each individual issue is but tbh it’s pointless. If you had one singular abnormality the same in all of them it would be a case of you being a carrier for that syndrome. But various abnormalities is indicative of just generally low egg quality.
my dr was very blunt with me at this point and said that if we carried on with OE she would want to bank at least 10 eggs for testing and that my chance of success was around 7%. Yes, there could be a golden egg and we could find it but there’s no way of knowing if we’d find it on the first round or the tenth.
I called it there, had a break to clear my head and be sure I was making the right decision (also had to save money!!) then went ahead with DE.
I can only speak from my experience but since the moment of seeing my embryos I’ve never questioned or doubted my decision. I know that our journey with the child is going to be different And potentially difficult because of having to address their origins, but I’ve never thought of this baby as anything but totally my own. The donor element hardly crosses my mind.

@Marvellouslymadmum my stats dropped mega quickly between 42-43 aswell! it shocked the hell out of me!! But, like you say, that’s just the eggs! With DE my first transfer worked and my pregnancy has been straightforward so far - 18 weeks this week!! 😳

how’s everyone else getting on? Big love to all xxx

@deliwoman1 hi, hope you're doing ok and have found some answers?

@TT82 so sorry it didn't go well for you, I think most people have a financial or emotional cut off point and go by when they feel the time is right.

Looks like for me de may now be my only chance, which although I've accepted that may be the case now I know it is I still hit very upset. I had a blood test last week for my iron levels and one of the things tested was my fsh - 92!! I couldn't believe it considering last time it was tested just over a year ago it was about 4 I thought I may just about be coming into perimenopause but not that far! But hey ho I'm only 44 (useless body) so still perfectly capable of carrying a baby - hopefully! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

Hi all, hope you are doing well!
Just a quick update from my side: all my 4 embryos came back from testing abnormal, different combinations of trisomy or additional genes (if anyone has some explanation what those mean etc please share). Dr said not viable for transfer
It was my first EC, next planned for end of November only.. I am 41, will be 42 in April..
How do you decide when to stop? If all abnormal, what chances next will be a good one? 😔

@deliwoman1 hi and welcome!
Sorry don't know if cyst impacts implantation..
From my personal experience, higher chance now of bad quality eggs :( I am always taking progesterone from 3d day post ovulation, but still cp after cp..
Any chance you can ask for earlier appointment? Or maybe privately? As if it does impact, better you deal with it asap, not to waste cycles with "good" eggs 😕
Also I read that ivf abroad, like Czech Republic is much much cheaper, though we do need a fee cycles at our age
Good luck! Xx

Hi everyone, I hope it’s okay to join. I’ve been lurking for a while but haven’t posted! Congratulations to everyone who has had good news and beautiful babies, and sending luck to those who haven’t yet.

I’m 40 (and a half, which seems relevant now my damn time is running out!) and I conceived my DD (14 months) after two early-ish miscarriages and an ectopic. We started ttc when I was 38 and she was born when I was 39. Had her by c-sec due to breech so surgeon recommended to wait a year before trying again. We started last month, and I’ve just gotten a bfn for this month at 10 dpo. AF due on Sat but I’m totally symptomless so know there’s no chance now.

I know it’s been no time at all, but already something feels different. I got pregnant on four out of five cycles we ttc last time, and the only cycle we didn’t was because of a burst ovarian cyst. My problem two years ago wasn’t getting pregnant, it was that pregnancies didn’t stick.

My expectations are definitely skewed by that experience but I’m feeling like my age is playing a big part now (and probably was last time given the miscarriages). I also have a 6cm para-ovarian cyst in my uterus and a gynae referral that isn’t until end of Feb 🙄😕

Does anyone one know whether a cyst in the uterus can affect implantation? I can’t seem to get a straight answer from anywhere.

sorry for the essay. Just disappointed and worried. We can’t afford IVF sadly, so I’m feeling like I need to prepare to accept I may not have another.

@TT82 exactly! Because we have two children each, all older now and 15,16, his 17,18 mine) it will be perfect having one together to tie them all to one another if that makes sense?
Ahh maybe November will be good so you have time to recover and grow more eggos!
Yeah it's a pricey one - around £6000 but the only way to sort endometriosis out! Xx

@Marvellouslymadmum happy you also think it is not greedy 😊 I have daughter from previous relationship, son together with my DH, so one more with just his genes will be perfect 🥰
Hospital put me for November cycle only, yeah definitely should have results by then, maybe they will know how to stimulate based on the quality
Any chance you can do privately? Or it is an expensive one? Xx

@TT82 unfortunately I've not even been seen by the referral team yet! Still waiting 🙄
I also have two children and my partner has two children but we don't have any together. I would still class a de baby as ours though as I'd be growing and feeding it! I don't think it's greedy either I'm sure there's more than enough de for anyone who wants one

@99pctpractice it might be actually I receive results first, as my hospital super slow 🙈 You can send less than 4 to test, but you still will pay as if for 4.. I just feel I need to do something as time and statistics not on my side, and all is moving slow.. 😒

@Marvellouslymadmum oh then hope they come back re surgery date soon and you can plan all the next important steps! Xx

I am also keeping as option DE...but sometimes think it is greedy from me as I have 2 kids.. But will see how this all progress

Thank you for your responses ladies @99pctpractice and @Marvellouslymadmum

Hope everyone is getting on OK 🙏🏾

@TT82 honestly I don't even think half the doctors know much about it!!
I haven't done any ivf yet, I'm on the waiting list for gynaecology to have a look at the endometriosis (was with them before for fertility but this is a separate referal apparently) so my plan is to try and get them to do a laparoscopy when I eventually get my referral then go abroad for a tandem cycle with de then if that doesn't work just de. I know my chances are t great with my oe as I'm 44 now and have an amh of 1.2

@99pctpractice I'm all for my de journey I'm just holding out for my gynaecologist appointment to come through so I can try and get them to look into the endo first so I have a better chance, I know it means delaying the ivf but if it gives me a better chance I think it would be a better way to do things! How's everything going?

Thanks, @Marvellouslymadmum once she arrived the donor egg element all became secondary... where are you at in your decision making?

@ThesisthenaViva it may depend on your protocol, but for our age group generally the stim part of the cycle is determined by when your period starts. There's no reason to wait to transfer so I guess your clinic is advocating a frozen transfer rather than a fresh transfer? It depends a bit how your body reacts to the medication : some clinics think that transferring an embryo when you have just completed a round of stims is not optimal for implantation so prefer frozen transfers, but lots of people get pregnant from fresh transfers. Wishing you lots of luck! Definitely good to start ivf sooner than later because it will give you so much more information.

@TT82 bit late in the day, but if you're definitely doing another stim cycle then I'd be inclined to wait to pgt based on the outcome of that cycle if your clinic has a 4 embryo minimum criteria (which imo is completely arbitrary by the clinic : at the clinic where I had pgt, they would do it even if there was only one embryo). 4 blasts is v v good - the quality is useful but not definitive, all that matters is whether they are genetically normal. Sending lots of good luck vibes your way!!

@Marvellouslymadmum oh sorry to hear! 🥺 I only recently learned about these (from BFN podcast) and how much pain it causes to women and additional struggles, as if we already had easy life.. I knew about PCOS (when was young had it probably, cysts etc but then after 2 pregnancies it stopped somehow and now ok), but not the rest :(
Remind me, do you consider/do ivf? Sorry if i missed

Thank you so much x

Should also say that they were thrown off completely by taking clomid from October 21-October 22 as well

@TT82 hi, that's good that you got 4 good ones! Hopefully they'll sort out your next cycle quickly. My cycles are a bit on and off sometimes regular then the odd long ones thrown in but I have adenomyosis, suspected endometriosis and possibly slight polycystic ovaries. I'll attach the list of my cycles it makes no sense 😂

@Trigger2018 that's definitely positive to me!!!! ❤️
Fingers cross for official confirmation and that all goes well from there

@Marvellouslymadmum hi, oh definitely contact your dr, is it usual for you long cycles? Mine with age got shorter 26-28 days max (DH says good for trying as more often 😆)

I have sent all 4 (4 got to day 5 blastocyst, which is apparently a very good outcome of fertilised ones). Results in 4-6 weeks only, but I am waiting for hospital to send me dates for second EC cycle..not waiting for genetic testing. I hoped it will be back to back collection but there's a waiting list and they will see what they can do 😒

@GingerFox2021 my partner was the same, I didn't think he would go for it so easy but he's still of the mind he thinks it will happen eventually naturally.
Hopefully you can get moving on it and then it won't be so scary!

@99pctpractice she is absolutely beautiful! Congratulations

Welcome @newlywedded and @ThesisthenaViva sorry I have no ivf advice as got this far yet.

@TT82 what did you decide to do? All 8 mature and fertilised is good!

@Trigger2018 looks like a second line to me but did you read it within the correct time?

I haven't been on much as I'm just in limbo land - usual place for me! My last visit from af was 3rd July so I am cd53 🙄 thinking about asking the docs to check my iron levels again. I am all ready to start my vits again but didn't know if I should mid cycle so am waiting it out - again 🤦🏼‍♀️

Hi all I am due my period tomorrow. I took this test. I think I can see two lines but I don't know if it my eyesight or if it is an evaporation line

Hi, just a quick update. Dr has just called me (even though appointment was for Thursday only, so I started panicking).. all 8 eggs were mature and fertilised, 4 got to blastocysts and all were biopsied for PGTA 🙏 She needs to know if to send them (package was min 4) or we want to wait for next EC..
Test will last 4-6 weeks, I am planning to do another as odds of getting a normal genetixally not on my side...
What do you think, should I send? If next time i have less then would do another or just send.. Wasn't ready for this outcome, she said grading is average though, not great but doesn't mean they are abnormal

Thank you very much @TT82 I am going to do the PGTA as well.
Wishing you all the best with your IVF journey and sincerely hope it is a success. Viel gluck!

@ThesisthenaViva hi and welcome!
Cannot give lots of advice as a beginner myself in ivf 🙈
But definitely don't cross over the natural way!! Just maybe be ready to chemical pregnancies (mc before 6 weeks)...these are often and I wasn't ready mentally tbh..
Good you are starting ivf too (better early) and hope others can advise on all aspects.
From my side - I am doing first ivf to do PGTA testing as egg quality my issue...I am getting pregnant but not staying (I have two older kids). There are pros/cons genetic testing, so maybe read, research what you would feel best. They recommend if older than 40 and multiple mc or chemicals.. As you are only getting to 40 and no mc... maybe you don't need them yet?
Also with age we need to be ready for multiple egg collection and creating embryos and freezing them (till we are younger) then either genetically testing or doing frozen transfer of them, hoping for good result.

This journey I find very emotional, stressful, just be ready and kind to yourself ❤️ xx

@YellowLoafers thank you!!!
They told me my phone appointment only on Thursday when dr has a slot, no updates till then!! 😫