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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Best time for a baby!!

42 replies

Dogsmum2022 · 24/02/2023 14:21

I’m looking for some advice and support.
After years of ‘not the right time’ I’ve finally come around to wanting to start a family. So we started trying (for 2 months) then found out that I am being made redundant in July so we stopped ( really frustrated as it’s taken me so long to get my head around it ) but now I know it’s going to be another year until we can try again as I need to find a job to be able to get maternity pay.

my biggest issue is my mother went through the menopause 35, I am 34 and I am scared it will be to late.

help! What do I do? My husband says we should start trying and we can manage but I’ve always wanted to be successful and have a good job I never wanted to be a mum without a job and that’s just me but if I wait it maybe to late

OP posts:
Original poster
Dogsmum2022 · 24/02/2023 17:56

You are so correct, and I am sure I just thinks not having a job or decent money coming in will also stress me out - I feel like I can’t win, for years it’s always been ‘to busy at work’ ‘ haven’t got much money’ etc etc I feel like perhaps it’s not meant to happen maybe it’s a sign

OP posts:
Hopingforno2in2023 · 24/02/2023 17:10

You could do an AMH test Dogs. I am 34 and was thinking of waiting another year or so to TTC no. 2. Did an AMH test and discovered I have the ovarian reserves of a woman in my 40s so am cracking on straight away.

38andtrying · 24/02/2023 17:10

Dogsmum2022 · 24/02/2023 17:04

I’ve just got all sorts going through my head, what happens if it happens straight away what do I do? What if it doesn’t.
my life plan was always to have a good job now I feel like I just don’t know what to do for the best now

not to be a pain in the arse pessimist, but getting pregnant isn't always the hard part for people it doesn't guarantee anything, there are a lot of what ifs. If it happens straight away and you go ahead and have a healthy pregnancy it will be amazing, if it doesnt your whole mind set will shift and believe me having a job will become the last of your worries. I think pregnancy, TTC and complication really puts things into perspective.

Before i was pregnant and had a miscarriage i was so work oriented, i would stress about work and it was a major important factor in my life, now it is least of my worries and what happened put everything into perspective, jobs come and go and at end of the day does anyone say on their deathbed "i wish i would have worked more"

Your husband is bang on, you will manage. The question is do you actually want to have a baby? is work the actual issue or are you just not ready, because that's ok too.

feelingnaughty69 · 24/02/2023 17:07

Dogsmum2022 · 24/02/2023 17:04

I’ve just got all sorts going through my head, what happens if it happens straight away what do I do? What if it doesn’t.
my life plan was always to have a good job now I feel like I just don’t know what to do for the best now

You've just got to go for it. Or don't. You need to make a decision and stick to it.

Original poster
Dogsmum2022 · 24/02/2023 17:04

I’ve just got all sorts going through my head, what happens if it happens straight away what do I do? What if it doesn’t.
my life plan was always to have a good job now I feel like I just don’t know what to do for the best now

OP posts:
NSx · 24/02/2023 16:36

I started trying at 34, Im now 35 and pregnant again after suffering a loss at 16 weeks - by the time I give birth I would have started trying 2 years prior.
I wouldn’t wait if I was you as you don’t know what’s around the corner, but that’s just me 😊 @Dogsmum2022

VixFromThe6ix · 24/02/2023 16:13

If your hubby tells you you will manage, take his advise. Don't build your family around a job. Start trying. You may be lucky and get pregnant right away, but it could also take time. And for some of us, there are complications that take time to identify.
Ultimately, is your decision but I'm also a career woman and I regret waiting. I'm almost 40 now and just starting to try for baby #2

Blueberrywitch · 24/02/2023 16:04

I am the most cautious person ever Re:jobs and career, but if I was in your position and had that menopause link I would be trying now. As PPs suggested, start looking for job now and keep trying - chances are you’ll qualify for mat pay in most jobs - everywhere I’ve worked so far the dates for qualification essentially just mean that as long as you fall pregnant AFTER starting the job, you are covered.

So I guess if you felt you could find a new job fairly quickly then it might make sense to skip 1 month ttc while you do that, but not more given the early menopause link. Good luck! I hope you get everything that you want and that it all works out nicely for you, regardless of this redundancy causing a little bump in the road.

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 24/02/2023 15:27

That's for their occupational mat leave

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 24/02/2023 15:26

Totally depends on work place. Where I am now you only need to be no more than 15 weeks pregnant on your 26th week of employment. So basically 3 months of employment before you get pregnant and you qualify.

Mushroo · 24/02/2023 14:50

Can you get a new job now I.e. don’t stay with your current employer until redundancy?

That will mean you could pause until September as you would then be entitled to SMP at new job (double check the dates on that!)

NoSuchThingAsMe · 24/02/2023 14:49

Why another year? Many workplaces just need you to have been employed for a year by your due date so you can start trying a couple of months after starting. So if you start another job in July you could start trying much quicker

feelingnaughty69 · 24/02/2023 14:45

Dogsmum2022 · 24/02/2023 14:42

Thank you so much and I know you are right and I really wish I was ready a lot younger but it just wasn’t the right time.

but I’ll never get a job if I was lucky enough to get pregnant so potentially will be out of work for a year

Shit happens, life never goes to plan. Just don't miss the boat if it's a family you want, that's all I'm saying ☺️

Original poster
Dogsmum2022 · 24/02/2023 14:42

Thank you so much and I know you are right and I really wish I was ready a lot younger but it just wasn’t the right time.

but I’ll never get a job if I was lucky enough to get pregnant so potentially will be out of work for a year

OP posts:
changeit221 · 24/02/2023 14:39

I agree just start trying. No job is ever safe. I was made redundant while pregnant and was eligible for statutory maternity pay, but I got maternity allowance instead (which is basically the same amount of money).

feelingnaughty69 · 24/02/2023 14:35

Just start trying. Although you are no means past it, time is of the essence. I wouldn't risk it with the menopause connection.

Get the ball rolling.

38andtrying · 24/02/2023 14:31

no such thing as the right time, I personally wouldn't out it off, fertility decreases and complications including miscarriage go up with time. Also TTC can take a really long time and so i would get going, i think your husband is right, weight up what is more important, your job or having a family, because if you leave it late you may not have the option, the choice may be made for you. Not to scare you lol just giving my honest opinion and i wish when I was 34 i was married and settled and able to start a family because now i am 38 and had a miscarriage and TTC1 and it is hard! i would feel less stressed if i felt i had more time

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