TTC After Miscarriage Thread 14 🌈✨💕💙

@Waitingonarainbow yes you explain it really well. It is that adjustment from the imagined to the reality which is hard.

Managed to dtd 2days and 1 day before ovulation this cycle. Ovulation day sadly didn't work out 😬 so 🤞this will be enough. Good luck to anyone else on 2ww now x

@ChloeN At least that's not a problem now! 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ Hope alls well with you 😊

@tulipsunday I had a few of those last year, and baby showers🙄 must of been asked 20 times when I’d be having one!

@Hankthehonk @tulipsunday thanks for your perspectives, I think you're both totally right. It's hard because you lose the life you imagined with the "perfect" age gap but in reality whatever the age gap ends up being will be totally fine and perfect in it's own way. It's reassuring to hear stories of sibling bonds with a 4+ age gap too.

@Hankthehonk the trip sounds a great idea having something to look forward to is so important for keeping you going. Got through a kids party where everyone seemed to be pregnant or have a newborn but survived it!

@tulipsunday Yes, there are 5 years between me and my younger sister and we have always been very close. Until this mc I was genuinely quite chilled about age gap but now it feels like one more thing we've lost. My husband is 40 so he's a bit worried about his own age too in terms of how old he will be as the younger child grows up. But his parents were young parents so I think his perception comes from that, I don't see it as an issue. I'm 34 so hopefully I don't need to worry too much about my age as a factor yet.
I like your point about getting more time with our toddlers, my daughter is really keeping me going just now. I've been spending so much time with her being off work due to the mc. The other positive is I've booked another wee family trip this year which we can only afford because I won't be on mat leave now. Trying to look for these silver linings.

@Dinosaur39 period came back 24 days after first miscarriage and 19 days after second one. Cycle have been irregular and ovulation a bit hit or miss I think. This cycle seems more 'normal' thankfully

@Hankthehonk @Waitingonarainbow I have the same concerns about age gap. Would have had an exactly three year age gap if my pregnancy had lasted which would have been perfect for us. Trying to think of positives though - I have been able to do lots more with my son this year than I would have of dealing with sickness/pregnancy heaviness and think he will benefit from having mummy to himself for a bit longer. Some of my friends have had 4+ age gaps and it is clear the siblings have a great bond which reassures me.

Oh and I got a negative pregnancy test already today, 8 days after my mc. It made me feel very sad tbh but I guess I'm also relieved that my body has "reset" relatively quickly.

@Dinosaur39 I can empathise with the need for a baby getting much more intense post MC. We had only been trying for a second baby for 2 months when I fell pregnant, I think if we were still "just trying" I'd feel quite relaxed about when it happens. But being pregnant changed all that.

@Waitingonarainbow I'm so sorry for your loss and for how you're feeling right now after af arriving.
My daughter will be 3 in July too. I just had a mc last week for a baby that was due in October and I was so chuffed at getting our ideal age gap. I'm really struggling with erasing the timeline of that pregnancy and baby from my mind, knowing that even if we manage to conceive again quite quickly (which obviously isn't a given) any new baby would be 2024 now is psychologically tough. So I totally get how you're feeling.

Once we are pregnant, whenever that might be, I'm sure we won't mind the new age gap at all. But while ttc it's hard not to mourn the babies we lost.

Hey, I'm just starting cycle 4 post missed miscarriage in Dec, will be our 3rd cycle trying again. Got AF yesterday and whilst I'd say I'm doing better than the previous 2, I'm still finding it really difficult. It's such a huge reminder of what we lost and the start of at least another month ahead without the pregnancy I long for.

I have a DS who will be 3 in July and I would have been due with our second in June before we lost them. I'm so conscious of the fact that the age gap between my DS and a potential sibling is getting bigger and bigger and its just not what I imagined but I can't control it.

Sorry to ramble, It just SUCKS thats all and I know y'all will understand (though of course I wish nobody would have to understand this pain)

@Hankthehonk I think that’s definitely a positive taking control of your nutrition in a time we don’t have much control at all.I put on nearly 1/2 stone comfort eating on cookies! And it made me feel a lot better once that weight was lost and I could start getting back on track.

I don’t have any other children. We wasn’t even trying for this pregnancy (clearly not being too careful) but it’s all I can think about now trying to get pregnant again!

@tulipsunday That’s good news about the flashing smiley! I’m going to see how I get on with the cheap sticks first and if no luck might move onto the CB!
Out of interest when did you first ovulate after MC and how long for your first period?
I’m trying to have a more relaxed approach now and wait for my first period before trying again as I feel like it will be some sort of womb cleanse!

@Daniki I haven’t read much on reflexology or acupuncture! What are the benefits you’ve found for these please? I might have to look into them!

@SMG1992 that’s ‘good’ news about your negative test! Hopefully a sign that your body is resetting! Have you hospital offered any advice?

Our bodies defintiley seem to take their time getting back to any kind of normality post mc.
Best of luck for your ovulation!

That's good @SMG1992 I'm at same point of cycle too. V surprised to get a peak ovulation reading today on cd12 after no peak last month.. my body is certainly keeping me guessing!

Took another FRER last night and there is not even a hint of a line (a good thing in these circumstances).
I also think I got be ovulating soon going on my ewcm but who knows. I'll just keep tracking with OPKs and BBT.

@Hankthehonk I understand this completely it is that feeling of wanting to gain a bit of control with something you don't have much control of.

@Daniki Ah cool! Hope it works well for you. I was considering acupuncture. I can't really afford both and I'm a bit time limited with work and childcare but I might consider in the future if my cycle doesn't settle out.

@ChloeN Hope all is well with you x

@indieray I did until I got a 3+ on clearblue xx

Good morning everyone! Hope everyone is ok !
Just a quick question did you keep testing are a positive ?
I'm becoming obsessive & my anxiety is really high ! Xx

@tulipsunday im starting reflexology on Monday! I was doing acupuncture since my first Mc and found it really helped too 🤗

@Dinosaur39 Exactly! I'm finding myself fixating on nutrition for fertility already - I guess there's no downside to eating healthier, but it's pretty obvious I'm just trying to gain a sense of control over something.

I have a daughter who is 2, she'll be 3 in July. She is amazing, so funny and kind, and she is getting me through this. More grateful for her than ever. How about you, do you have other kids?

@tulipsunday That is good news about the flashing smily (I haven't used these ones, just LH cheap sticks but flashing smily means high chance right?) I hope the reflexology helps too - another thing that doesn't really have a downside so you might as well try it.

Yes it is strange the wanting a negative result and then back into really wanting a positive! Hope you are ok @Hankthehonk

Decided to give reflexology a try this week to hopefully help with restarting ovulation. Interesting to see if I ovulate this month though I guess if I do I won't know if it was due to that or not!

First flashing smiley today cd10 🤞 they don't go on forever like last time! Good luck everyone xx

@Hankthehonk I felt the exact same way it’s a complete head mess that we are pining for negative results and as soon as they are negative we will be pining for positive!

But we will all get there unfortunately it’s just going to be a different journey than we all expected 🥲

Thats ‘good’ news that yours is going faint quite quickly I hope that process isn’t so drawn out for you.

Do you have any other children?

@Dinosaur39 Sorry for your loss :( thank you for your kind words and your advice.
I did an hcg test today and it's positive but already pretty faint just 4 days after my mc. It feels very strange to be desperate for a negative result when I want so badly to be pregnant.

@Ivory88
I may be wrong but how I’ve come to understand it all is that whilst your are still testing positive your body won’t reset so the ‘two week’ wait for ovulation won’t start. I could well be wrong. I tested negative two weeks ago now and nothing for me yet unfortunately.
I think looking back I would have stopped looking at other peoples stories of getting pregnant right away and just tried to allow the time my body needed to heal.
I was doing OPKs the week after thinking I was ovulating when of course this wasn’t happening and I think this just ended up causing me more hurt and stress.

I had retained tissue that lasted 4 weeks after the start of the MC which obviously didn’t help me, I didn’t realise it was going to be such a drawn out process.

Personally I would be happy to TTC without waiting for my first period as the information I’ve seen is that it’s just mainly for dating purposes but I can also imagine it would be nice to know your body has a refresh!

@Hankthehonk be kind to yourself and take the time your body needs.

Sorry bad typos - *tests not teats!

@Ivory88 I'm so sorry for your loss too.

I feel just the same as you desperate to be pregnant again. I'm hoping I can wait until after a period to start ttc because I know it would only add to my stress and anxiety to have uncertainty around teats and dates. But it will be difficult if I think I'm ovulating in a couple of weeks time not to take the chance.
That said, the thought of dtd feels pretty dreadful right now too. I'm not in much pain now but I guess my body just feels a bit broken. I'm totally done in. My instinct right now is I need a wee bit of time even though I also want to wave a magic wand and be pregnant again.

The doctor who I spoke to after my miscarriage confirmed that the main reason they advise to wait a full cycle I largely about dating, as a pp said. Obviously every mc is different and we should each follow our own doctor's advice.