TTC After Miscarriage Thread 14 🌈✨💕💙

@FfoxRedN ahh that's really tough and remarkably unlucky. I would say that with the CP you could likely assume that it was poor quality and your body did the normal thing and didn't allow it to implant, the first miscarriage just the normal risk of 1/4 that we all have. Then the last 2 with the tristomies unusually bad luck - especially given that you've been lucky to have genetic screening to confirm that there's nothing unusual in you or your partner that's resulting in the increased chances of a tristomy pregnancy. Hopefully you'll catch again soon and have all of your bad luck out of the way

@TheBirdintheCave I was the same, I don't have PCOS but was always treated as if I do so was on the short protocol with fewer than average meds for my age. My last prescription in 2020 was £900 and the quote from the clinic was £1800 just to put it into context 😱

My goodness ladies, my heart goes out to you all you've really been through the ringer...its makes me take perspective and hope that my mmc was just shit luck... hoping you all get the answers you're searching for...

I finally got my static late last night, still there this morning when testing again so did have a little giggle at the cliché of a potential valentines baby!

@MrsC2018 We're with Kings Denmark Hill. They do multi packages but they don't include frozen transfers so it doesn't seem worth it as I don't think we could afford two fresh cycles :/ I'm waiting on our IVF timelines (which will include costs etc) at the moment so not sure how much meds will be. It was implied I won't need as much as I have PCO and will be on the short protocol. Definitely worth a look to see if I can get the meds cheaper anywhere else though 😃

Sorry that was for @TheBirdintheCave

What clinic are you using? We went to Care and had the multi cycle package so paid up front for 2 cycles including frozen transfers with the caveat being that if it works first time then you've paid more than you would for a single round but the costs are fixed. I would also recommend paying for the private prescription and shopping around for the medication, it's about £50 for the clinic to release it to you but saved me about 1k getting from The Fertility Medication Centre instead but there are loads of companies you can get quotes from

@MrsC2018 Exactly my thoughts. I said to my husband I'd rather risk another miscarriage as genetic testing would be more than the price of paying for a frozen round and we can only afford maybe two or three max if the initial round doesn't work (providing we get enough embryos of course).

@TheBirdintheCave yep, we did the same. I never did it in the end, for a few reasons. Firstly I never had enough get to blast to warrant the extra expense or the risk of discarding one that could have developed into a baby and secondly I felt emotionally robust enough to cope with a TWW for an embryo that wasn't going to develop to save the extra that we would have spent on PGTA. It's a really personal decision based on your money, time and emotional health. I was also an unusual case (obviously) I had all sorts of unexpected things go wrong, apparently on paper I was a prime candidate for success but it was a long hard slog. The embryo that worked for me to get my daughter was a PN (day 1!!) embryo that would usually be discarded but due to the covid closures and otherwise complete failure of that cycle was transferred. The truth is, they will do their best to advise you but as with all things health wise sometimes things that should work don't, and things that shouldn't work do 🤷‍♀️

@MrsC2018 I'm really on the fence about embryo testing. I feel like my husband and I just go around in circles discussing the pros and cons. I think the thing that puts me off is that it's not infallible. If it was a guarantee that if I got pregnant with a tested embryo then it would go to term then I'd do it... but the miscarriage risk is still there, so... is it worth it? :/

@FfoxRedN have you been screened by genetics with you having 2 with tristomies? Have they said whether that was just bad luck or anything? I'm still waiting on the PM for my second loss, but in the last scan at 16 weeks they saw fluid on her brain so I'm wondering if all 3 of mine are separate reasons and just bad luck. If you don't mind me asking as well, what's the timescale for those pregnancies? With there being 3 loses later in the first trimester and only 1 with an unknown reason I would have thought that it's not necessarily poor quality as you'd see more CPs and fewer pregnancies. I'm not an embryologist, but all of your babies would have got to a blast and presented as healthy at 5/6 days so unless you have the PGTA testing to check for abnormalities IVF will put you back in the same position you can get yourself into. PGTA is an extra £500 per embryo and isn't an exact science, there's a few studies where embryos that would have been discarded have developed into healthy babies when transferred anyway. I've previously asked to have a meeting with the embryologist at my clinic as they have a fab understanding of the really fine details of what makes some embryos work and some not - maybe speak to them about your issues to get their advice too? It's so hard trying to learn enough to make good decisions when it's complicated stuff and affects the whole of the rest of your life!

@MrsC2018 yea same here in Ireland you need to have 3 before been referred. My app is actually this Thursday so not long to wait!
my second experience with Mc was a lot better in the EPU thank god but it’s horrible what some women will go through.
any word on your next scan? x

@Daniki I'm sorry that was your experience first time, there is a real lack of compassion in services for women that miscarry. Some individuals are fantastic and genuinely make a difference, others make a lonely journey more difficult. The systems too are inhumane in my opinion, I wish someone would just think what it must feel like to sit bleeding and losing your baby and be told to wait days for confirmation. How that affects us in subsequent pregnancies too, knowing that although there's nothing they can do to stop what's happening, there's nothing they're willing to do to make the process easier for you either. I'm prescribed aspirin after 8 weeks and the consultant said she would prescribe cyclogest this time if baby is viable after the 7 week scan, when do you have your apt with the private doc? I've heard they'll often prescribe steroids too so seems like the right decision from your part, the NHS would leave you to have at least one more miscarriage before considering anything in my experience unfortunately

That's a joke isn't it. I'd be in that position too if I have problems. X

Bless you, it sounds like it's being a long road for you. Will you get ivf on the NHS or not? A girl from work has just had it and they got three rounds because they both have a condition (endometriosis for her and slow swimmers for him) and it happened first time luckily for them (she has to pay to store her other embryos now though)

@MrsC2018 that's incredibly tough, truly sorry you have to go through this. The wait is horrendous. With my first Mc I went to a&e bleeding as I didn't know what to do and sat there the whole day waiting to be seen only to be told my scan would be the following morning. I lay in bed hoping it would be fine but knowing it couldn't be given what I was passing. I think it's cruel to leave a woman in such a position when they need answers.
Hope it's good news ❤️

Is anyone on medication to help if you do get pregnant or anything? Support is shocking round here, iv had to book privately to see a doc in the hope she'll give me a prescription for progesterone incase I do get pregnant.
I have Crohn's disease so wondering if my miscarriages are due to NK cells? When I was pregnant with my son i went into a huge flare at 9 weeks and had to have surgery and go in steroids and humira injections for most of the pregnancy then so could be why it was successful!

@MrsJGrealish i wish you all the luck!! 🤞

@Kranke equally bad. Disappointment or fear. I'm due on tomorrow too ❤️

@MrsJGrealish Thanks, I did a test tonight as felt nauseous today and due on my period. Was going to wait until tomorrow, but as I’d bought some, irrationality had got the better of me. Absolutely nothing. Gutted. Now not sure whether the fear is better or worse than a flat negative!!

@2magpie No referrals as you need to lose three in my area before we'd get anything on the NHS. We've gone private for IVF and are starting next month :) This is our last natural cycle.

Thanks all, I don't know what I feel really - we'd genuinely prepared ourselves to terminate today so it's a real shock to be sat here wondering if it will be viable after all. I hope it's over quickly though if it's not meant to be though, hope is cruel.

@FfoxRedN they didn't unfortunately - the doctor didn't even know when they'll call me, let alone what they'll say.
@Mannymoomin thanks lovely, that's my worry I'm just left waiting longer and the outcome is the same. Hopefully know soon

So I've been Googling like mad and arguing with my DH about whether we'll risk my life for this baby and and have a hysterectomy if needed to keep it alive 🤦‍♀️ he's terrified I'm going to die and leave him with the toddler, older teens and 2 dogs. I'm not, I'm just not willing to terminate if we there's a chance we can have baby safe is all. Prob arguing over nothing though

@2magpie I don't know that you definitely do need to keep positive, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and talking when you need to. We've all been there, and as @TheBirdintheCave said, hope is hard to kill. I lost 2 at 16 weeks and this one might be a c- section ectopic - still hoping it's not though and I'm in with a chance! Ridiculous really!

@Kranke just wanted to relate saying I'm also 40. Lost my 6 week pregnancy the day I turned 40. I feel exactly the same seeing a positive test. The fear nearly cripples you. Xx

@2magpie in terms of positivity I think you just need to take each day as it comes
you’ve been through a lot physically and emotionally so sometimes you are bound to feel down - don’t beat yourself up about it
im only in my 1st cycle post MMC and am dreading AF, obviously I’m hoping it doesn’t come and I get a positive result but if AF does come I know that’s going to really get me down

Thanks, and you too. I know it’s hard to keep hope, but what else have we got!! Fingers crossed for all of you x