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Conception

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Original poster

Delaying TTC to avoid winter/Xmas baby?

66 replies

CinderRosie · 31/01/2023 11:51

DH and I have agreed we are ready to TTC. We are both 36 which may have some bearing on the responses on this thread. I already have a teenage DC from previous relationship who has a mid-November birthday. If I was lucky enough to fall pregnant this cycle or on the next few cycles I’d be due between end of October and the end of December. I remember DS being born and us going straight into a long cold winter and I felt claustrophobic with the dark, short days. Getting up for night feeds was awful. I’d much prefer to wait and TTC in 3 months time when my due date would be the end January next year (again, if we were lucky enough to fall pregnant first cycle). January is still winter but the days are getting longer and brighter and spring is just around the corner and I feel my mental health would be a lot better. We also have a LOT of family birthdays in November and then December is all Christmas. But, I am 36 and time is of the essence. Am I being silly and should we just start now?

OP posts:
Moonrisewater · 31/01/2023 14:41

My first was a late autumn baby and I really struggled over the winter. It did get me quite down. Second time round we did exactly as you’re thinking and waited ttc until February due date (and were lucky as it happened quickly for us). I much much preferred it as the days are getting lighter and you have all of spring and summer ahead.

Rowen32 · 31/01/2023 14:40

I used to think this and then thought, what if I miss my chance? So many factors have to line up.. With no fertility issues two 20 something year olds have about a 20% to conceive and that's if they try at the right time of the cycle so I just didn't want to lose any chances to try..
There's pros and cons to every month if you think about it enough...

SquashPenguin · 31/01/2023 14:38

I remember wanting to delay a winter baby…. Five years later I’m still trying and not so bothered about when (or if) one is ever born. I’m also 36.

MamaBear1022 · 31/01/2023 14:36

DS is April. It was perfect. We had the spring and summer going to baby groups when he was 2/3/4/5 months old and Christmas at 8 months when he was interested in some toys.

Minnie10q · 31/01/2023 14:34

As a mum of two winter babies I Totally get where your coming from. After having my first I tried to get pregnant again (around your age) and thought we had all the time in the world and could choose when it happened but 3 miscarriages later all I wanted was a healthy baby and timing didn't matter anymore. I got pregnant again and My beautiful bundle arrived just before Christmas and there was something so magical about having a baby then. There are so may factors that all have to align to get pregnant in first place and for it to be a healthy pregnancy. Knowing what I know now I personally wouldn't delay but we are all different and you have to do what feels right for you situation.

Chinnegan · 31/01/2023 14:25

I wouldn't, it took me a few years to conceive and my babies both ended up being winter/Christmas babies. It was lovely having the 4th trimester cosy at home. I did lots of breastfeeding whilst watching boxsets under a duvet with Christmas chocolates and not feeling I was missing any nice weather. I didn't get too hot with a baby sling wrapped round me when I did go out for a walk. Now they're older and both love having special Christmas time birthdays, one is before and one is just after. We also can save up for Christmas and Birthdays in one lump and then breathe a sigh of relief for the rest of the year!

TrudyProud · 31/01/2023 14:11

Personally I wouldn't worry . If you don't want a winter newborn don't let strangers stress you into thinking you must get pregnant yesterday just because of your age.

I'm 36 with a 9month DD (conceived 1st cycle). We'll start TTC no2 around her 1st birthday which would mean a Feb/March birthday.

Im an autumn birthday, DH a summer. I really wanted a Christmas DC but has a c-section so waiting at least a year. Do what's best for you

eatdrinkandbemerry · 31/01/2023 13:46

Took me 9 years to conceive my second.At your age I wouldn't be picky about seasons .

Bear2014 · 31/01/2023 13:36

It's completely up to you and totally personal but I loved having a winter baby. We were all cosy and hibernating, then when she was a bit older and I was more with it, we did loads of days out and made the most of the weather. I've had a summer baby too and being pregnant in the heat was the actual worst thing I've ever endured. He is also the youngest in his school year, which people will tell you to avoid too. On balance I'd go winter!

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 31/01/2023 13:30

I have a January birthday and it's fucking horrible.

My son is early November and I didn't experience anything like you've mentioned.

LizzeyBenett · 31/01/2023 13:28

This was me last year actively avoided trying to avoid an Xmas baby how silly I was it really upsets me now to think how ridiculous I was and time I wasted even though I know why I didn't want an Xmas baby in the grand scheme of things does it even matter. 14 months on from first starting TTC still trying and now being referred to a fertility clinic no idea what the future holds. don't waste time , I would have a baby Xmas day if I could now !

ToriLynn · 31/01/2023 13:19

I have 2 summer babies and 1 end of November baby, and honestly, the winter one was the best. I had an excuse to stay home because of the cold and wet weather, for the first few months and enjoy those newborn cuddles 🥰 with summer babies, friends and family were inviting us out only a few days after baby was born and got arsy when we declined!

countrypunk · 31/01/2023 13:18

If I were you I'd just get on with it. I started trying to conceive was I was 36. Fast forward 2.5 years, not even a whisper of a pregnancy, and a failed cycle of IVF under my belt.

The statistics say that 90% of women your age will conceive within 2 years of regular sex, so I don't mean to scare you and the odds are in your favour. But you could be in my unlucky 10% group. If you want a child, just go for it. Very best of luck.

Theresahippopotamusonourroofeatingcake · 31/01/2023 13:17

I have just had a November baby after two summer ones. I thought the same but actually I'm quite glad that we will be able to go to the park and play in the garden when he is a bit more interactive at 6m+. So far I'm quite happy to do the newborn feeds and snuggles in front of the tv and don't feel Im wasting the day so much as if it was lovely outside.

We do get out but can wrap him up well and will be nicer to let him move around in less restrictive clothes in the summer.

I also wouldn't wait, the baby's birthday season is much less important than making sure you make the full use of the time you have to conceive.

sunseaandme · 31/01/2023 13:16

I would just crack on. I know entirely what you are saying, my baby was born in august last year so I was heavily pregnant during that god awful heatwave and IT WAS HELL 😂 so I said bloody hell next time I will try to avoid that. That being said, in reality I don't think I would (if we try for baby #2) as you never know how long it will take. I know several people who were in their 30s who TTC for a year-18months, by which time it wouldn't matter when you started trying. Also at age 36 I hear fertility is on the decline. I'm 32 so by time we try for next one I am likely to be similar age!

Happinessandrainbows · 31/01/2023 13:14

As someone with two losses, I couldn't care less. It's a luxury to be worrying about baby's birth month.
Just go for it.

custardbear · 31/01/2023 13:13

Don't underestimate how long it may take - I was 37 and 40 when I gave birth to my children, both took 2 years to conceive. Fertility plummets as you get older, so I'd say just get on with it and don't hang around

KM91 · 31/01/2023 13:12

100% just get started I’d say. I had my timings all planned out for my spring baby perfectly, I was 25….but it’s now 6 years later and I’m finally 16 weeks pregnant after IVF so my plan didn’t quite go as imagined.

I would definitely just start now, hopefully all goes perfectly for you but IF there are any issues at least you will be a few months in already if that makes sense. Good luck x

TheBirdintheCave · 31/01/2023 13:05

I felt like this when TTC my first. One and a half years later I didn't care when my baby was born, I just wanted a baby.

At 36 just go for it, you don't really have the time to waste.

Landndialamrhf · 31/01/2023 13:05

But what if you don’t get pregnant in the first few months? What if it takes 6 or 7 months? You’re back to a winter baby. Are you gonna stop again for 6 months and wait until you’re 37/38 and hope it happens then?
what if you get pregnant but have a premature baby, who could be born in winter?
I think there are other ways to mitigate the issue you had last time, this doesn’t seem like a sensible one.

Blueisthecolor · 31/01/2023 13:02

I wouldn't delay or stop to avoid Xmas, not when ur 36 no. To be honest I wouldn't try to avoid it at all unless I was super confident I can get pregnant very easily.

I'd just be happy to get pregnant. It is a rubbish birthday near Xmas time but to be honest not that big a deal. I was due in mid December with second but she came early so has a November birthday.

StopFeckingFaffing · 31/01/2023 13:02

At 36 I wouldn't delay no

Mrsrobinsonx · 31/01/2023 13:01

We thought about missing out next month to
avoid December but I’m not sure now as
we have been trying a while so not sure if I want to delay! X

SilentNightDancer · 31/01/2023 12:59

I wouldn't mess around. It can take longer to conceive than you expect.

Fundays12 · 31/01/2023 12:59

At 36 I wouldn't delay trying. None of my 3 kids were born in the month they were due let alone the day so you can't totally plan or predict dates anyway