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Conception

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Original poster

Delaying TTC to avoid winter/Xmas baby?

66 replies

CinderRosie · 31/01/2023 11:51

DH and I have agreed we are ready to TTC. We are both 36 which may have some bearing on the responses on this thread. I already have a teenage DC from previous relationship who has a mid-November birthday. If I was lucky enough to fall pregnant this cycle or on the next few cycles I’d be due between end of October and the end of December. I remember DS being born and us going straight into a long cold winter and I felt claustrophobic with the dark, short days. Getting up for night feeds was awful. I’d much prefer to wait and TTC in 3 months time when my due date would be the end January next year (again, if we were lucky enough to fall pregnant first cycle). January is still winter but the days are getting longer and brighter and spring is just around the corner and I feel my mental health would be a lot better. We also have a LOT of family birthdays in November and then December is all Christmas. But, I am 36 and time is of the essence. Am I being silly and should we just start now?

OP posts:
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whytesnow · 04/02/2023 10:57

Winter birthdays are the worst i have friends moaning about it all the time

HelloJan · 04/02/2023 10:40

I also wanted to avoid a winter baby, but didn't want to delay trying to conceive as I was almost 35.
Got pregnant pretty much immediately and got a winter baby 😂
Honestly, it's fine.

You already have one child, so it's really up to you. You won't end up childless regardless of the outcome.

jellybe · 03/02/2023 15:45

I wouldn't at 36. I struggled to fall pregnant in my 20s so wouldn't risk wasting time in my thirties if we were wanting another baby.

silverpinecones · 03/02/2023 15:45

We ended up with both DC winter babies - December and January. Obviously there are probably better birthdays to be had but in the grand scheme of things I don't think we have caused any lasting damage. My birthday is December too so it's a busy time for us!

We had the same worries about how long it might take so just went for it and were fortunate that it didn't take long but there you go. Nature decides these things!

Milamight · 03/02/2023 15:41

My daughter is a December baby. She was supposed to be a March baby
.. so i wouldn't bother planning personally 😂

LightHousePanda · 03/02/2023 15:39

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one! I think for me it's because my birthday is a few days before Christmas that I didn't want that for my child. Also, I didn't want them to be one of the youngest in class (in Scotland cut-off is the end of Feb). For my first, I was lucky and managed to get his birthday in June.

It's completely up to you obviously and with age obviously, you don't want to put off too much. I guess if you don't succeed or take ages to then you might regret it and wonder what if. Also if you want more than one you might want to take that into consideration with your plans.

Our plan for our second is to try this month and then put it off until it would be a spring baby. If it's not successful for a year obviously we will likely just continue to try regardless of the month.

Enn1234 · 03/02/2023 15:34

Go for it! Dont know how long itll take you!
Ive been TTC since Sep last year as I would love a summer baby but unsuccessful so far - now will happily accept a winter baby

FT123456 · 03/02/2023 15:23

I never planned a month I wanted to conceive... my little boy was born in December. I personally don't think it really matters when they are born. Also you could conceive straight away or it could take awhile so it won't always go to plan.

Hankthehonk · 03/02/2023 15:11

It's also interesting to see so many posts about summer babies being youngest in their year at school - I guess you're all in England? I'm in Scotland and here the oldest in the year are March birthdays, February birthdays are youngest. Until reading this thread I had no idea it was different down south!

Hankthehonk · 03/02/2023 15:05

I sympathise with the op, for lots of reasons I wish we could choose when to fall pregnant and when baby would arrive. Ideally I'd prefer to avoid a December birthday just because of Christmas, and that everyone I know with December birthdays always hated it, BUT we won't actually delay. We're already ttc and if it doesn't work this or next cycle we'll keep going as I'd rather a December baby than no baby and I know this journey could take a long time and have many ups and downs.
I'm particularly hopeful this cycle because October feels like a great birth month. Me, DH, DD and my sister are all clustered together in july/August so it would be nice not to add another summer birthday....but again we'll take what we can get. I'm 34.

Anonbaby · 02/02/2023 22:03

No way would I leave it. I’m 36 and been trying for a third since I was 34. Our previous two were conceived no problem so the past is definitely not a predictor of the future as far as TTC goes!

SuperHandss · 02/02/2023 21:20

Crack on. We’re 12 months into TTC & had similar thoughts before trying. Silly us.

Chanel05 · 02/02/2023 20:08

I'd crack on. If it took you the full 12 months to conceive, you'd be right back at December again.

I have a late December birthday and my ds was born just before Christmas 2022. I love having my birthday around that time, it's so family centred and I love that my son is a near Christmas baby too.

On a practical side, my dd was born in September 2020 and we have to wait until January 2024 for the 30 free hours, a whole extra term of paying more, where as the 30 hours will kick in for my son just 2 weeks after he turns 3.

NatGee · 02/02/2023 19:58

We wanted a March baby and delayed trying so now guess what March is right round the corner and not even a whiff of a bfp. Of course you can wait but its a gamble.

BabyMomma2021 · 02/02/2023 19:57

Also, I had an end of December baby and I love that she turns a new age just before the start of the new year so it's easy to work out how old she will be each season for clothes planning (my neat freak mind likes this :))
Also, 30 free hours child care kicks in in Jan after 3rd birthday so we will get them almost immediately upon turning 3 :) xx

BabyMomma2021 · 02/02/2023 19:53

I'd just go for it! Time is of the essence and there are so many variables (time to conceive, baby could be born early etc.) so you really cant guarantee too much!

LeopardLover · 02/02/2023 19:49

I hope you aren't finding the responses overwhelming! I'll be waiting to avoid a Christmas baby (& I'm 37...GASP). My toddler was an April (almost May) baby and it was the perfect time of year. Obviously we can't plan these things and lots of the comments make valid points, but don't be scared by your age. You aren't 46. 😅 It could take one cycle, it could take years. But being in hospital over Christmas is something I'd rather avoid!

MrsMikeDrop · 31/01/2023 19:05

I had mine in winter and I found it great, when I finally was comfortable and ready to do things baby was the right age and weather was improving. I found winter cosy, snuggled with a newborn. I'd TTC anyway as you might not get pregnant straight away - unless you really, really hate the idea of it being winter

Lcb123 · 31/01/2023 18:57

I wouldn’t wait at that age. It’s utterly unpredictable, not worth planning

TakeTheStingOut · 31/01/2023 15:06

I think it’s a strange thing to worry about and I certainly wouldn’t be delaying contraception at 36.

I had two winter babies. I quite liked it. I could stay in and do lots of feeding and napping and not very much else without any guilt…then I emerged into Spring having lost my baby weight and having cone out of the newborn stage. Always a silver lining!

Veenah · 31/01/2023 15:04

I started trying at about the same age. I'm now 41 with failed IVFs behind me and no children. I don't say this to be negative or to scare you, it's just that if I had delayed starting for a reason like this one I would be regretting it now and cursing the lost months. Hopefully it will all be much easier for you but just have a think about how you'll feel later if you're struggling to conceive after delaying.

Orangebadger · 31/01/2023 15:01

Well at your age I would crack on. You don't really have any control over when you will fall pregnant or if baby might be premature. My DS was due in March, came in January.

Ladyofthesea · 31/01/2023 14:57

I started TTC at 34, so younger than you, I finally had my daughter at age 41 (and a half). How important is a birth date to you? Would you rather not have a child than a winter baby?

ChillysWaterBottle · 31/01/2023 14:54

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 31/01/2023 12:03

I'd just crack on with it to be honest....

Same. I also think there are benefits and downsides of every month for having a baby. Autumn/Winter babies are older in their year and I read they can have an advantage at school, and socially when they're older, and I found keeping a baby warm easier than trying to cool them down. I would've hated to have a newborn during the 40oC heatwave we had last summer. Plus if it doesn't happen immediately you could end up whenever anyway! I don't think it's an unreasonable or silly idea at all but I wouldn't personally bother. Completely up to you though OP x

Carysmatic · 31/01/2023 14:46

I feel a bit this way, we're currently TTC #2, DD was an April baby which was a nice time of year to have her. I've had a few friends and family who have had December babies and it's always been a bit tricky with birthdays so close to Christmas. Christmas is expensive enough without a birthday in the mix too! Even my friend who has a January baby says it's hard thinking of things to buy for DC when they've just got lots of new things for Christmas. Realistically it's only one maybe 2 cycles that you're taking a break for, though if your maybe still trying this time next year then id probably say beggars can't be choosers and to just get on with it. At the end of the day a baby is a precious gift whoever they're born

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