So Cheryl Cole 39 said she's too old to have another biological baby

I think I agree with this comment.

Honestly, how can a woman in her later 30s not know the answer to the question, or that everyone has to make a personal choice about when they feel too old, rather than there being a categorical answer.

Again, OP if you want a baby, you need to get in and try. Whether you have fertility issues, conceive first time or face any of the difficulties that can mean some people feel too old, cannot be known until you try.

Best of luck.

You don't sound much nicer tbh.

I agree, we definately dont want to fear monger (especially as women have fought so hard to have careers). However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that all the OP needs to do is put into google when fertility declines and she can see for herself. Ofcourse there are always exceptions to every rule, but generally speaking, you are more likely to struggle to concieve the older you are.

I think this question really depends on whether you already have children or not, I am 38, no children and trying for first, if I was 38 and already had children perhaps i would feel too old, who knows. If you don't have children your biological urge to reproduce has not been satisfied so that will take precedence over any feelings of being too old. Each to their own.

I never thought I'd be in the position of defending Cheryl fucking Cole

Same. It's a ghastly situation to find myself in.

But desperate times call for desperate measures and people criticising a woman for daring to express a fairly mild opinion on what is right for her and her body and her circumstances is one of those times.

It’s all relative, I think. I had my first at 29 and my last at 33 - I’m now early 40s and don’t think I’d have the energy for a newborn/toddler/pre-schooler.

As a general rule though, if you feel like you want one at any age you should crack on and not be influenced by societal pressures/opinions.

Of course she knows lots of women older than her have healthy babies.

She's speaking purely for herself and her own health and circumstances. We're all different.

It is absolutely possible to have a healthy pregnancy in your late 30s/early 40s and most people who make it through the first trimester do. It is more likely there will be fertility issues. It is more likely that things will “go wrong”. And it is more likely that it will feel like harder work. But (apart from the fertility aspect which I’m unsure of uptodate figures on) the vast majority of women having babies at that age have successful pregnancies and healthy babies.

I had my first kids at 40. Twins. They were healthy and so was I. Having done it, I would say I wish I had been physically younger, though my reasons for waiting were also valid. I can see why someone might decide that, for them, the physical aspect seems more than they want to go through as they get older. None of that means it’s the wrong choice for you.

FFS how can Cheryl Cole’s personal musings actually spark an adult woman with access to google to wonder whether anyone over 39 has a healthy baby.

I had my youngest at 42, like others easily got pregnant, easy pregnancy, easy birth. Perfectly healthy child. Yes the risks are higher as you age but 1 in 100 for example is not exactly a high risk on an individual level.

I may be an older mum but I'm healthier than people younger, I have no issues keeping up, no issues with my health, come from a long lived family. I'm not worried about the teen years, already starting puberty, difference is I have all the patience in the world to deal with mood swings, experience has taught me it soon passes.

The problem with Cheryl's comment is that she doesn't feel it's too old to be a parent to a baby its just the pregnancy part she's trying to avoid.

This thread is absolutely mental. I never thought I'd be in the position of defending Cheryl fucking Cole but she is allowed to have an opinion about whether she wants to get pregnant and that doesn't mean that she's speaking for ALL women.

Personally as someone who had my last baby no problems at 40 I'd not recommend it. But you do you.

Thanks Colleen

There were some stats out last week which said that there are more births now in women over 40 than teenage births.

See this pisses me right off. Do you know her? Do you know her medical background? Do you know if she’s in a relationship to conceive a baby?

Shes got every right to say she feels too old.

Or some people are just disabled

When I was 35 we discussed having a 3rd child (me & DH, not me & Cheryl) and at the time I genuinely thought I was too old and the prospect of being 40 when they started school horrified me. It’s only looking back I realise how ridiculous I was and it’s my only regret, that we didn’t try for a 3rd because of me. Maybe Cheryl will look back and realise she got it wrong also.

For me it would have been to old, but then I felt a big difference between carrying babies and looking after them from my 20s to 30s

I'm the same age, 39, and consider myself now too old to have another baby. I couldn't care less what other women choose is right for them, but for me no. Not just the getting pregnant, but I don't want to be looking after young-ish children into my 50s.

Having said that I first became a parent at 22, so am starting to see the light of freedom which I missed out on in my 20s and early 30s, which is another huge factor in being horrified at the thought of going back to square one now.

But equally my friend had her child in her 20s, born with chromosomal abnormalities. I think it’s good to be educated but not to fear monger. It would be interesting to see that real stats.

40 was my cut off - I had my third and last child at 39. First and second we're at 30 and 33. No problems with any. I'm 44 now and would definitely consider myself 'too old'. But my best friend is also 43 and just had her first. She's planning to try for number two soon.

For me and my husband our cut off ttc is the day I turn 36. It's just the way our lives have panned out. Ttc since we were 27 eventually conceived at 30. He is 6 month younger and doesn't want to have children over the age of 35. This is biologically as well as mentally for me as well.
Pregnancy takes a toll on your body, I developed gestational diabetes (no risk factors btw) and baby was born small because of this.
Ttc affected me mentally having unexplained infertility and failed IVF.
If other women have babies at a later age it has nothing to do with me what they choose to do. It's their body, their family. People enter into relationships later in life and it's the way life pans out.
I wouldn't say Cheryl has been judgey for this comment. Her son is 5 I think? She might have been ttc and been unsuccessful.

So I knew cheryl was wanting to have another child and was considering ivf with donated sperm her words not mine. ( I heard (rumour) she had been visting fertility clinic in l.a . That khloe kardashian had used. Apparently they are very close friends...she's been open about it but now she's turned around and said coronvirus changed those plans and she said yesterday she's " a bit older" she still wants children but she is thinking about adoption .

Guys, I think I know who the OP is.

It's.... Rebekah Vardy.

OP, you simply need to google fertility.

Surely you know people over 38 have healthy babies. Surely you also know older women are. Ore likely to struggle to conceive or to get to the point of having a healthy baby. Both are true. Which category you’ll be in, we just don’t know. No-one knows at any age about themselves until they try. We can read the stats for our age group, but they are just that…we might fit the norm or not.

I hope it works out for you.

Ive got several friends who have had babies in their late thirties/early forties. Some have struggled and some have got pregnant pretty much straight away. However, when we are educating teenagers/young women, we need to be honest about when our fertility declines and the problems they could face if they choose to wait longer. As long as we aren’t telling women its going to be very easy late thirties onwards, then women can make their own choice if they want to prioritise career etc. And ofcourse sometimes it isnt a choice if you dont meet s partner until later on.

This.