So Cheryl Cole 39 said she's too old to have another biological baby

@OhMyGoodnessyMe
I'm one of the ones who wouldn't want teenager in my 50's. It's not because I'm old before my time but because I want something different for my life. My parents moved abroad for 5 years and in that time travelled Europe when they were 56/57 and had the best time (they'd both taken early redundancy/retirement). Dh and I plan the do similar. By that time my dc will be nearly 30.

Whenever anyone said ‘she must keep you young’ to my mum she’d growl back at them ‘she bloody doesn’t’. (She loved me wholeheartedly before anyone starts).

I think she was just sick of people who had no clue about anything trotting out this glib phrase. She was 43 when I was conceived and very physically ill and ‘elderly’ from my birth onwards and I think now she really shouldn’t have gone through with it.

She's not insulting others and she has a 6 year old. I have a 9 year old , 10 this year and very much can't be bothered going through it all again although biologically at 29 it's still very possible for me to get pregnant. Maybe she feels that time of her life is done.

I was too old at 39, because i was a year or so post menopausal at that point. You dont know what she means by 'too old', she she just meaning or age or does she have information on her own fertility that means shes too old without going down the donor egg/surrogate root. Maybe she means she is isnt in a relationshio and thats the circumstance in which she wants to have a child so by time she meets someone and they decide too she ll be mid 40s.
You do you, she is talking about her own life.

‘When I was 35 we discussed having a 3rd child (me & DH, not me & Cheryl)’

I’ve had a hard, sad day - thank you @WestBridgewater for making me laugh! Xx

I had my first at 41 and second at 43. The midwives said the average age of mothers is increasing now. If your periods are still regular and there are no other issues, I don't see how 39 is 'too old'

That was my first thought too.

Had my two at 39 and 41, conceived each time the month I wanted ( for maximum mat leave). Both easy kids, now off to uni. Could not have done it earlier and love that they have kept us young.

I was going to basically say this.

Also, Cheryl has made a very mild comment in response to a question!

If Cheryl feels that she is too old, then that is what she feels.

Other will feel differently, or agree.

I'm a similar age to Cheryl and had no upper age limit for babies until I realised that one of the grandma's at DCs school is actually the mother! I realised that would be me in 10 years if I had another now. Turning 40 has also started some (probably realistic) anxiety about my future health. I'm thinking more about my pension, paying off the mortgage, retirement etc. Having babies at this stage in life feels too late for me. Sorry if that's a bit depressing. I know a woman who just had a healthy baby at 47!

www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/body/health/a36103165/fertility-declines-35-women/

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/apr/10/fertility-cliff-age-35-week-in-patriarchy

jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/2778126

Something to put your mind at ease, OP, that a lot of the statistics on female fertility are proving outdated. And in time new research will emerge as it does on so many other things. Human beings do evolve and adapt to our circumstances and environment - even the female body.

Agree-its a personal choice. Some people are ready to be Mum’s at 20, some are ready at 40. Some 25 year olds are knackered being parents and some 45 year olds have tons of energy for it. She’s obviously speaking on a personal level and I feel the same as her (having had children earlier, I wouldn’t be keen to do it at my age now).

Also, I think the majority of the population know fertility declines from 30’s onwards. Theres plenty of charts out there explaining it so it shouldn’t be a surprise its going to be more difficult (generally speaking - ofcourse there are plenty of exceptions) as you get into late 30’s/40’s.

I was physically fitter in my pregnancy at 40 than I was in my pregnancy at 22.

When I was pregnant at 22, I was morbidly obese, couldn’t walk upstairs as my knees were too painful because of the weight. My c section recovery and the surgery itself was greatly impacted by my size.

At 40, I was far fitter and healthier and a healthy weight with zero mobility issues.

People see age as the only factor.

I had my 4th at 41 ?!

I just think everyone is different there is no magic age!

My MIL was 48 when she had my husband. My best friend was 51 when she got pregnant, unfortunately she miscarried at 4 months. Her thought was that she had lots of tests and would have carried on having tests so what would be would be and if anything showed up on tests then she would make a decision at that point.

For some people, it is. I had my first at 38, after 8 years of trying, and despite trying for the next six years, haven’t conceived again (under fertility clinic, had various interventions, was told egg reserves too poor for IVF). So 39 was definitely not biologically possible for me.

We have no idea how easy or hard Cheryl has found it to conceive, or what she has tried so far. Entirely possible she can’t conceive naturally at 39.

Surely it's up to her. If she feels 39 is too old for her, that's fair enough. She's not saying no one should have a baby at or after that age!
Personally, I agree with her but I realise that everyone's circumstances are different.

I'm 29 and had my DD at 20, I feel too old to have another baby because of the age gap and starting again even if I'm physically not old.

I think it depends on circumstances. I'm 36 and feel I wouldn't have the energy for a 2nd i had such a rough time with my 1st! However I know loads of people who had healthy pregnancies in their 40s.

I think another poster summed it up completely, she’s not saying she’s too old to have a child, she is saying she feels too old to conceive a baby doesn’t want to carry it and that’s very different. The concern is, her comments have made people including the OP be fearful of leaving it ‘too late’. The right time is what you decide not according to the gospel of Cole.

It's her body if she feels too old she feels too old. That's not her insulting other women in different situations.

Everyone is different and I think some people's fertility will have fallen and for others it hasn't I think physically a 40 year old can still be very fit and healthy. I definitely felt too old at 40 but that is mainly because my children who I had in my early 30's have drained me beyond imagination. If I hadn't already had children and wanted them then I would still be trying at 39/40 but suspect beyond that I would start to question whether I should move on.

Woman must not have an opinion in case it upsets people.

I’ve read Cheryls comments, it’s very clear she’s talking about herself only, her age, the age of her child, the age gap her kids would have, how the pandemic made her feel about bringing another child into the world. And she lost a friend at a young age which can change how you feel about having children as an older mum. I’m sure she has very little opinion on whether Louise on mumsnet has a baby in her late 30s.

I wouldn’t have had children past my early 30s, just my personal preference. I had both my children in my mid-late 20s.