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Conception

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Original poster

What age do YOU personally think is too old for YOU to have a/more babies and why?

194 replies

Jaaxe · 19/01/2023 18:30

Just curious as to what age you’d stop having babies and why? How old would be too old for you and why? I’ve just had a baby and I thought I’d be done after this one but now im not so sure, it all seems pretty final to say im done but maybe I am….maybe it’s the hormones, I certainly don’t want another anytime soon or maybe even at all but then I wonder if I did decide im not done how old is too old :/ perhaps im just feeling like this as this one was meant to be my last one…

OP posts:
DemBonesDemBones · 20/01/2023 21:37

Oh right, in your world. Got it.

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 21:35

DemBonesDemBones · 20/01/2023 15:43

@alanabennett I'm not sure having kids in your 20s requires a Pearl clutching 'goodness' Confused

I was responding to a poster who has at least three kids over the age of 25 while still being in her forties. In my world, three kids by the age of 24 would very much earn you a "goodness". Though I'm not wearing my pearls, so...

greenerfingers · 20/01/2023 20:47

Would have been 27 if I had a choice but had my first then and second at 30. I just got my life back before having no.2 so wish I'd had them earlier. My friend was done by 24 and is entering her 30s free. I'd love more so hoping I can get twins and be done 😁. Although I'm not sure how I'd survive the early years with twins haha but I despise pregnancy and my body can't handle it anymore due to health conditions. I might just be done now but I probably will want more.

Mycatisasleep · 20/01/2023 20:18

This post is so negative. It probably wasn't started that way but it's like here's a list of things to worry about if you didn't have your family at the 'perfect time'. 🤦‍♀️ I keep forgetting but thanks for reminding me to leave Mumsnet so I can maintain my sanity.

And all those mums or those ttc out there whatever age you are, every age has its pros and cons and I hope your dreams come true ❤️

WineCap · 20/01/2023 19:37

I had my first at 30 and I'm having my second (and last) at 33 but I would probably have been ok waiting until 36/37 if my situation was different. No judgement of older mums but I just wanted children in my early 30s.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 20/01/2023 19:09

I don’t have an age as I haven’t finished having kids. I just turned 37. And if things go to plan I’ll be 37 or 38 when I have my last child. I think picking a cut off like 40 wouldn’t mean much as if I didn’t become pregnant until I was 41 then realistically I’d probably go through with it. Plus I’m not sure I could personally have an abortion.

Original poster
Jaaxe · 20/01/2023 18:40

MissGroves · 20/01/2023 13:47

I think it is quite common to feel massively broody when you have a fairly new baby - something to do with hormones. I was trying to breastfeed/pump for a non feeding/failure to thrive, allergy child on hourly feeds and I had the most overwhelming urge for another (like you around 4-6 weeks)! The feelings were ridiculously intense - this was child number two and the feelings passed! 😆

Show quote history

@MissGroves ha I did wonder if it was normal to feel broody with a newborn 👀 it’s how I’ve felt for last 2 weeks or so since I recovered from the birth 😂 maybe these feelings will pass and I’ll feel done again soon because it certainly felt like this was the last baby when I was pregnant 😂

Thanks for everyone’s input, it’s definitely made me think more about lots of things, especially the future with children rather than just the present day.

I also really hope it happens for all those currently trying to conceive too x

OP posts:
Fundays12 · 20/01/2023 18:29

I had my last at nearly 39. I am 42 now and if DC1 who I had at 32 didn't have complex additional support needs then we would have had a 4th I imagine. We actually decided to stop at 2 due to dc1 needs but dc3 came along as a beautiful surprise

23Elfie · 20/01/2023 18:21

I'm 35 and have 1 DC who will be 9 this year. Had them when I was 26 almost 27. I would have had another when they were around 3 however was/still am single and have been saying no way to another one even if I met the love of my life since I was 32. Love life with 1 DC and look forward to my DC growing up and having my life back by the time I'm 44/45 x

Allezallezallez2023 · 20/01/2023 18:19

Just to add, if I hadn’t been lucky enough to have DC when I did, maybe I would have tried beyond 40. Who knows.

Allezallezallez2023 · 20/01/2023 18:16

40 was my cut off point

I had one DC, at 36

Reasons:

Didn't want to do newborn / toddler phase at 40+ and in potential peri menopause

Don’t want to be dealing with teenagers at 60.

Increased risk of serious health issues / dying as you age.

Wanting to really focus on my fitness/health/mental well-being in my 40s and as I approach menopause.

Don’t want to have to work until old. Want to retire as young as possible.

MistyQuigley · 20/01/2023 18:15

I am considering a third and am about to turn 37, in my head I have a cut off of 38. I had my first two at 32 & 33.

stairgates · 20/01/2023 18:15

For me 40, I had 1 more after this age and could feel the difference, I was more tired physically and just more mentally drained with everything, wouldn't change him for the world but I am longing to be out the other end of child rearing which feels such a long way off at the minute.

roarfeckingroarr · 20/01/2023 18:09

I'm due to have my second any day and I'm 34. I don't think I would have any more past around 38 because of the increased risks of Down Syndrome/SEN.

RidingMyBike · 20/01/2023 18:03

I asked my GP how long I'd got for a realistic chance and she said 42.

Decided not to try!

Lauralozzle · 20/01/2023 18:02

It was 35/36 tops - now 40 I think, although that could change.

Infertility has scuppered my plans somewhat. Started trying at 31, thinking I’d have maybe 2 before I’m 36 and be happy with that. Still haven’t had a positive test. I’m 35 now.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 20/01/2023 16:21

DemBonesDemBones · 20/01/2023 15:43

@alanabennett I'm not sure having kids in your 20s requires a Pearl clutching 'goodness' Confused

There is always one.

Susieblue18 · 20/01/2023 15:47

I had my 3rd at 41 as I started late and it was fine but think around 43 would have been my cut off.

DemBonesDemBones · 20/01/2023 15:43

@alanabennett I'm not sure having kids in your 20s requires a Pearl clutching 'goodness' Confused

Mycatisasleep · 20/01/2023 15:37

I'm 38. In an ideal world I wish I'd had two by 36 but not before 32. But I didn't think like then. I hope I have a second child before I'm 40. Personally I feel pretty tired and probably won't want more after 40 even if it's possible. But my mum was very energetic in her 40s and could have probably looked after a baby well at 45 if not older.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 20/01/2023 15:36

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 15:33

The same number I've had at 46.

Show quote history

And I'll have had an even greater number by the time I'm 46

alanabennett · 20/01/2023 15:33

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 20/01/2023 14:58

Everyone is different. How many joint replacements had you had by 30?

Show quote history

The same number I've had at 46.

WaddleAway · 20/01/2023 15:15

WalkthisWayUK · 20/01/2023 15:08

I’m 50, I travel a fair bit, go to nice restaurants sometimes, look after myself a bit.

Oh, and I also do the primary school run and absolutely love being a mum this age! I’d say for me it’s much easier and I”m better at it than when I had my first child, late 20s.

I wouldn’t judge anyone of any age who had a kid, not sure why anyone would want to judge me. Each to their own!

Who is judging you? I don’t care what age other people have their children. I just wouldn’t want to be looking after young children in my 50’s.

Mummyo1 · 20/01/2023 15:09

My mum had me at 37 which I personally feel is too old. 35 max is the age for me. I'm currently 27 and TTC my 2nd and last baby.

WalkthisWayUK · 20/01/2023 15:08

I’m 50, I travel a fair bit, go to nice restaurants sometimes, look after myself a bit.

Oh, and I also do the primary school run and absolutely love being a mum this age! I’d say for me it’s much easier and I”m better at it than when I had my first child, late 20s.

I wouldn’t judge anyone of any age who had a kid, not sure why anyone would want to judge me. Each to their own!