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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Really want another child but im 42. Am I too old?

213 replies

Pjsandpringles · 07/01/2023 00:45

I currently have 2 children. Myself and my partner really want another. I don't know if I'm kidding myself because I'm 42. I am very aware that at my age it will be much harder to conceive and there is obviously risks involved.

Am we being totally stupid?

OP posts:
FormerlySpeckledyHen · 07/01/2023 07:10

I had my second at 42. You are not too old.

freezingpompoms · 07/01/2023 06:49

Of course you aren't too old.

Downtherabbithole83 · 07/01/2023 06:41

I’m almost 40 and we’re trying at the moment - we already have 3 between us but none together (and we share custody of the ones we do have so they’re not always here) and we would really like another to finish our little family.

We’ve tried to be sensible by giving ourselves and end point for trying but plenty of people are having babies in their 40s now. I say if you want to go for it, then go for it!

HolliDays · 07/01/2023 01:05

DS1 2010
DS2 2011
Got together with OH 2017
DS3 2021, I was 43

I say go for it. The utter joy of being able to gift our newborn to OH (no other DC) after he has helped bring up readymade DS (then 5 and 7) was exceptional. The older two adore their baby brother, and I love having a baby with an OH who is so hands on. A very different and wonderful experience, and we all feel very fortunate.

Original poster
Pjsandpringles · 07/01/2023 01:03

Baconand · 07/01/2023 00:58

No, plenty of people do it. I had my only at 41. It was a doddle.

But beware the miscarriage risks are high as are the increased risk of abnormalities. Autism is connected to higher paternal age. So think about what could go wrong that you can’t test for. We had NIPT but we’re aware that there could be other issues too.

My son already has autism so its always a risk (increased I know though). I've also had nine miscarriages so another thing that's always been something I assume will happen.
I know the chances I will even fall pregnant is slim but I want to just stop using any protection and see what happens

OP posts:
PerpetualFailure · 07/01/2023 01:02

A 60 yr old parent as a 17 yr old? No. Too many health risks as we age.

Original poster
Pjsandpringles · 07/01/2023 00:59

Knobknob · 07/01/2023 00:56

What do you think is best for the two you already have?

We have spoken to them and they love the idea of having a younger sibling to do their bidding love and teach things to

OP posts:
primeoflife · 07/01/2023 00:58

If you want to do it but I wouldn't have wanted to as I like the stages my children have been through and would hate a big age gap.

Baconand · 07/01/2023 00:58

No, plenty of people do it. I had my only at 41. It was a doddle.

But beware the miscarriage risks are high as are the increased risk of abnormalities. Autism is connected to higher paternal age. So think about what could go wrong that you can’t test for. We had NIPT but we’re aware that there could be other issues too.

Original poster
Pjsandpringles · 07/01/2023 00:57

My partner is not the father to my other 2. He has no children of his own and my children don't need him to "parent" them. Why does anybody want a child? Mine are nearly grown and I love being a mum. I have the financial security, relationship security and love that I want to give to another child.

I can't see why wanting another child means there was something missing from the children I already have.

OP posts:
Knobknob · 07/01/2023 00:56

What do you think is best for the two you already have?

JungleJungle · 07/01/2023 00:55

I personally wouldn't, but only because I wouldn't want teenagers in my 50s or possibly 60s depending on how long it takes you to conceive. I'm in my 30s and already worried about my parents getting older. Cancer and health problems cropping up. Can't imagine having those same worries as a teen (yes I know lots of 60 year olds are very fit and healthy)

Aquamarine1029 · 07/01/2023 00:50

Is your partner the father of your existing children? Why do you want another? What would another baby give you that your existing children haven't?