Really want another child but im 42. Am I too old?

Ignore the negative Nancys and go for it! It's your life. You already sound like you very strongly want to. You're aware of the risks and that it may take some time.

Rooting for you ❤️

I’m trying I’m 43 this month!! Go for it

Go for it, with the understanding that there are higher risks. We live in the modern age and women are having babies older. So what? There are always risks attached to having a child. At least now with antenatal testing and medical intervention we can check for problems and sometimes rectify them. We're living into our 80s and 90s, so it's less of a concern that the child will be left alone before they are grown.

I'd rather be a child to parents in their 40s who have a loving relationship, have emotional maturity and are financially stable than younger parents who are not. It's not just about the first nine months after conception. You may be in a way better position to give a child love and care throughout their childhood than if you were 20 years younger.

1st 36
2nd 38
3rd 42

3rd pregnancy was actually my easiest. My health took a hit after number 3 was born though making it harder for me to be as active and hands on, but I had a perfect storm of stressful events all happening at once so although having a baby at 42 is definitely harder on the body I don’t think it was the main cause of my health issues.

I had my last at about that age and it's been fine. Wasn't the oldest mum in the playground, age gap between him and us is fine. Think about what you'd do about Downs testing though and what if that was positive.

If you can conceive naturally and the foetus is healthy then you’re not too old.

I was 40 and my husband 46 when we had our second. I can’t lie, it was physically much harder than his 9 years older sibling when he was small but he was never anything but a joy.

MN is always a bit odd about having teens in your fifties. I am not sure what is more inherently exhausting about teens than toddlers, myself, but am possibly missing a trick. I am 42, and pregnant, with a toddler. Is it tiring, yes. Do I think it would be any less exhausting if I was 32, no.

People are always going to bring their own experiences and judgements to questions like this, you’re the only one who knows your situation and body. But if you’re looking for anecdotes I had my last of 4 at 43 (had my first at 38 so different to you, but still). It was exhausting and busy but totally fine, and still is now that he’s 17 and I’m 60, contrary to many people’s opinions on here about having a teen at 60. Nor was I conspicuously old at the school gate - another objection I’ve seen here. Having a child at 40+ is more common now and you won’t stand out at all. If you’re healthy and want a child go for it.

I know several who have had children in their 40s. Absolutely no reason why not really. A couple of friends only met the partners in their late 30s/turning 40 and am so pleased they went ahead and had the DC they had always hoped for. My cousin had a long infertility battle that they only got the right treatment for in her late 30s leading her to have her youngest at 43.

All these women have been brilliant mums at each stage and my cousins are my role model family tbh!

I had issues, losses and then couldn't get pregnant in my twenties...and my easiest pregnancy was in my late 30s, so whilst the averages are always against older mums, your own personal journey could be v different. Good luck!

How would you feel about twins (or more)? I'm a parent of multiples and found it really tough. Just a thought.

If you both want to try I’d go for it. I had my son when I was almost 45 and it’s been fine. Yes I got more closely monitored during my pregnancy but he was born fit and well. There are more risks though so you would need to think about that. I do worry that I might not be around for him as long as I’d like but then worrying about what might happen can stop you doing anything. Good luck with whatever you decide x

Well it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks really does it.

I wouldn't. I'd focus on all the time you get to spend together with relative freedom.
Parenting small children is exhausting, expensive and almost all encompassing. It may not be the romantic idea you have in your head.

My friend had her youngest at 49. Her eldest was born when she was 25.

Had my first (and only) at 41, I am so tired I wonder if I had done this younger I would have much more energy. I am always exhausted

midwives I work alongside day that they’re seeing many women in their 40s and it’s becoming far more common. I’m 43 in a week and been trying a year

I love being a mum. I have the financial security, relationship security and love that I want to give to another child.

And your question is....?

The utter joy of being able to gift our newborn to OH (no other DC) after he has helped bring up readymade DS (then 5 and 7) was exceptional

The idea if ‘gifting’ a child to a man makes me uneasy for some reason.

By all means go for it however, you will be very high risk of miscarriage and much higher risk of fetal abnormalities or disabilities than when you had your older kids. So I'd ask myself a few questions first. What would further miscarriages do to your mental health? How would having a child with profound disabilities affect your older children? This may be less as they're older but worth considering. If they have a disability that means they can't live independently, what will happen when you pass?

There are still many that go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies at 42/43 so if you go ahead I pray you will be one of those lucky ones. Just make sure you are prepared before going into the pregnancy.

I got pregnant the first night I tried at 42, so don’t assume it will be difficult. I was 43 when giving birth.
Quite a few people I know had a baby easily at the same age.

My mum has 6 all together and she had my youngest brother at 42 he's 10 now I'm the eldest at 29 and I absolutely love having a baby brother still, so go for it you've got nothing to lose by trying!!!

Go for it. Everyone is different. Pregnancies at 42-43 do not surprise me anymore. If you feel fit, good health etc, try. It’s better to try and not to
regret it later that you didn’t. Listen to yourself. Others don’t live your live, you do. You should be comfortable with your yourself and your decision.
I personally do much more with my child than my 10 years younger colleague with her child and we also don’t have any family support whatsoever.
Good luck!

Yes. Sorry to say 42 is on the older side.

I'm 40 and we've just conceived our second, I have two friends that both had additional children at 46, I think you both agree I think you should go for it OP. :)