First Timers TTC. Safe space for brain dumps, questions, whinges and celebrations. Part 2!

Hi everyone, I hope it's ok for me to join. I'm 32 and we have just started TTC. I was on the pill for a decade before so I am interested to see what my cycles are like now. Trying to be chill about it at least to begin with (which is not my default 😅).

Hugs to the PP who need them x

Hi All, hoping I can join the chat and just get a virtual hug more than anything really.

Me and OH are 29 and have been TTC since August. My cycles are a regular 27/28 days and OPK says I'm getting my LH on day 15/16. Realised by October that using normal lube could've been effecting us (as I didn't realise it was a spermicide!). Since November cycle we've used preseed if lube was needed, Nov was BFN. Then December cycle has just happened, bought a fertilily as well (thought why not) and for some reason I ovulated day 19/20 which is strange and then only came on my period today (14dpo, when usually 12dpo). Cycle this month was 32 days instead of 27/28.

Just feeling so frustrated and sad, why did my body do this to me this time, I've not slept for the last few days hoping I'd get my BFP, with nothing. Sorry for a rant I'm sure all of you have felt deflated and defeated I just feel like I'm doing everything to help and nothings working.

What am I doing wrong other than just being a big poo?

Thanks from me and my violin.

Oh I'm so sorry you had to go through that too! But so glad you did feel a little compassion at that point though. As it really can feel awful and like your on your own.

My MC was in feb/March last year took me a few months to really get a grip of myself again if im honest then we were just DTD when we felt like it not been particularly careful but not trying either.

So I'd say this is the 3rd month of us properly trying again now.

AF was due today according to the flo app but my cycles can go from 27-31 days and today is 29th day.

I did do a test last night because we were going out and I didn't want to drink if it was a positive.
It came back as a BFN but unfortunately the Asda didn't have the early test ones it was just a cheap one that says to test a after your missed period.

So I still didn't drink because I've been feeling a little bit odd and my boobs are super soar which was my first sign last time. But I'm really trying not to symptom spot and I won't be testing again until Wednesday unless AF arrives obviously.

I've only been using the app which is what we used last time but I think if I don't get a BFP this month I'm going to try using the ovulation test strips to see how accurate the app is and go from there.

@rankin21 sorry about your MC It is true that when they have seen it all, they forget that it's a 'first' for many of us. How long have you been trying? Agree that the monthly disappointment is exhausting but am trying to think positive and be glad that we can try again next cycle.

The only time I felt a little compassion was from the midwife that contacted me as I referred myself to them and forgot about it after my MC. She contacted me for my first scan and I told her about my MC, she sounded sad and understanding, which may sound silly but I felt a little comforting.

Hi All 👋🏼

Hope you don't mind me jumping on this post! I'm 33 and DH is 32 and we are ttc our first. I think I'm currently 6dpo but can't be sure as I never actually got a peak on a test - just a line nearly as dark as the control on 6/1 pm. Premom app predicted ovulation on 8/1 and I did have a bit of cramping so I'm going with ovulation as being then! This is only our first cycle trying but dtd plenty during fertile window so I've got everything crossed for a bfp!

Baby dust to all x

Ohh I'm exactly the same everytime AF arrives too! So disappointing isn't it what a roller coaster.

Sorry to hear the gp not been the best either saying unhelpful things like that!! Unfortunately I do think sometimes the medial staff get quiet complacent with it all because they see it fairly often! when I had my miscarriage I got the whole 'oh well least you know you can get pregnant' 'you can just try again and it will probably be alright next time' 🙃obviously wasn't helpful at the time 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Alexis7890 so sorry to hear about the med and the staff's attitude. It is very hard and the disappointment every month can be very frustrating and I can totally relate. I generally have a little cry when AF arrives and then grumpy for a few days, then start it all over again. It's very draining but will just have to keep going for now. Finger crossed for us.

Actually when I spoke to my GP over the phone, she was basically saying just keep trying but oh you are almost 40, it's a bit late. Actually she mentioned that I am trying too late a few times and I just kept saying 'I know I know'...

@Kayycatt thank you, I’m surprisingly chilled about the PCOS as I’ve known for years that I’d need this help so fortunately it wasn’t a surprise. The struggle is partly how blasé some fertility staff are about oh well give you these drugs then you’ll ovulate and get pregnant yay, but 3 out of the 5 cycles so far the meds weren’t working for me so no ovulation and the crushing news of sorry we need to try again and the rollercoaster very similar I imagine to when AF arrives for people trying naturally. Just like when the meds do work but no pregnancy. It’s a rollercoaster isn’t it!! Glad your tests were all okay and you shouldn’t need to go through any treatment!! Hope it goes well for you

@Feliciacat oh no, not at all! I think it's a good idea to test later to save some disappointment to be honest, it's just me being impatient. I will keep my fingers crossed for you on Valentine's Day. 

@Alexis7890 sorry to hear about your PCOS, all the best with cycle 6.

Hi all I hope you don’t mind me joining, I’m 32 and my husband is 42 we have been TTC number 1 for a while now, sort of since October 2021 but was referred by my gp in January 2022 to nhs fertility treatment as naturally isn’t an option (hoped for a miracle from October - January) as I don’t ovulate naturally very often due to bad PCOS. So going into medicated cycle 6 hopefully on Monday!

@Kayycatt oh I didn’t mean to sound like I was telling you what to do with regard to when to test; I just know that I personally would be very upset if I knew I had had a miscarriage. So for me, ignorance is bliss!

I’m glad your bloods were normal and that you’re finding OPK helpful. This thread is so exciting! Can’t wait to find out what’s in store for everyone!

Thanks @Feliciacat** we just have to keep trying. Did some blood tests last month and all came back normal so at least that's good.

I am using OPK every month now. It does take some of the stress off me as I kind of know when I should be getting busy.

It's a good idea to test much later to be honest, probably saves money on the pregnancy tests too! But unfortunately I am terrible and will test on my AF due date. Maybe I should try to hold it off as well. Eek.

@Kayycatt I wish you all the best and I hope AF doesn’t come on the 18th! I don’t think you’ve left it too late at all but maybe ovulation testing kits would help so you’re sure of exactly when to dtd. I’m 35 myself and I know that things can get more irregular.

It seems I’m rather privileged as I’m on CD13 of cycle 1 and my LH surge is happening according to my testing kit. Gonna have a fun weekend and hope for the best. AF due on 28th so I’ll know then. I won’t test until 14th Feb (when I’ll be 6 weeks) because of what I’ve read about chemical pregnancies being so common. Baby dust to everyone xxx

Hi all,

Would love to join to for some support.

Me and DH are both 39 trying for our first, we have been delaying while we built our career and financial stability. Now I think we may have left it too late...

Anyhow, I came off the pill Jan 2022 but didn't try as hard so only had sex about once a week. Until October 2022, started using CB OPK and got pg that month, but ended in MC just under 6 weeks.

Back at it now again, in my TWW at the moment. No symtoms at all so far but don't want to read too much into it. AF due on the 18th. Oh and we tried the SMEP this cycle.

I can completely relate to @J3ssa about the sadness felt every month when AF arrives. Even though I have told myself not to have any expectation but still can't help but get angry about it and then grumpy that few days. I am trying to distract myself but it's difficult when I keep thinking time is not on my side...

Anyhow, baby dusts to everyone on this thread and hopefully we will hear some BFP news soon :)

@TinyDancer91 hi
I had a look last night and found out that our trust only funds one round of IVF, which is disappointing. I don't know about the other tests.

We had some tests done at a private clinic recently which cost £425. It included a sperm analysis for my husband, then an ultrasound and AMH testing for me. Everything came back normal so no clues as to why we haven't conceived yet (currently CD 13 cycle 10). I think the AMH is mostly used for pre-IVF as it gives them an idea of how you will respond to the medication options they have. It's good to know my AMH isn't particularly low but obviously I can't know whether my eggs are good quality or not.

I've had a look at some of the home testing kits as I haven't had day 3 / day 21 bloods done. I would also like to get my thyroid and blood sugar checked as I have thyroid problems and diabetes in my close family. But I might wait until we have been trying for a year and then push for these to be done on NHS instead as I'm guessing they wouldn't prescribe anything based on the home test results anyway (I don't know ?). Have you checked whether your trust will use the result from the at home test or not? As if they will push for you to have "their" test done anyway it might not be worth the money.

We are just in the process of planning a holiday which will hopefully be in late March; if we do that and still no BFP then I will be going to the doctor as it will be 1 year of trying by then.

@TinyDancer91 hello! CD 22 here and just starting to get the signs I'm ovulating. Had my GP appt yesterday and had day 21 bloods, GP is referring me anyway to fertility clinic as my scan was quite clearly polycystic ovaries. DH needs to go do a sperm sample and blood tests but still holding out hope we can do this without intervention 🙏

I've not tried hertility but I see it advertised on socials ALL the time. Let me know how you get on. I succumbed to an IG ad and bought some of that Rheal Superfoods stuff yesterday. 'Magic' superfood powder to fix all my problems? Go on then 😂

@TinyDancer91 heeey! I’m currently cd20 - keen to get through the next week or so (hope it goes quickly!) I’m currently led here looking at the similarities with this month and November as we had a chemical BFP that month. I know we’ve spoke before 😊

Knowing your next steps helps to feel in control so that’s a great idea. I’ve had a referral to a specialist which we’re waiting for (unsure how long this will take but expecting 6 months or more) and partner has a sperm test here to do but it’s a nightmare as you can only do it Mon to Thurs between 9am and 11am - not ideal when he works full time and you have to take it 40 mins away (mindful of traffic too 😂). There’s other ways around it I’m sure but we’re holding off and not pressuring so we’ll see how that goes in the coming weeks.

wishing you the best of luck! I’m also bloated but this is definitely from pigging out lately 😂🤪

Yes same here, time will tell I guess xx

@Babydust99 yes we feel the same and I had lots of symptoms too. I’m wondering if those were more severe as my body was rejecting the pregnancy - hence the chemical so I’m happy we have got to that stage but interested and hopeful to see what happens with future cycles x

No it certainly isn't although I had symptoms so would have known I was even without a test. We're also relieved as we now know we can conceive as this is cycle 8

@Babydust99 oh wow! That’s crazy isn’t it 🙃 I’m a little further ahead this cycle - cd17 and I think maybe 3 dpo perhaps 🥰 sorry to hear you also had a chemical. Testing early isn’t for the faint hearted unfortunately… I learnt the hard way! Fingers crossed for this month 🫶

Hi, I have endo too and ttc out first. I had chemical last month and on cd 6 now so about to enter my fertile week again from tomorrow

Hello everyone! A bit about me…

❤️I’m 30, partner is soon to be 32 and we’re TTC our first!
🧡I’ve tried on and off for over 3 years (was engaged in a long term before).
💛Been diagnosed with Endometriosis - had an op to detach my ovary from the womb lining… seems to have helped a little as had a BFP for the first time in Nov (ended chemical)
💜 From Wales! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

This month, I’ve been religious with my folic acid. I’ve bought pregnacare supplements however hesitant to start those until we’ve continued for a few more months as I read on the box it can affect your cycles and I’ve got them down to a tea atm! Would welcome any feedback though and wishing you all the best of luck for the cycles (hopefully just cycle…) of 2023 🎉🤞🫶

Hi, I wonder if it's ok if I join you all? I'm a total newbie, this is our first month trying and already am super confused about my symptoms and body acting strangely. I'm 27, turning 28 next week.