First Timers TTC. Safe space for brain dumps, questions, whinges and celebrations. Part 2!

Have you had an acknowledgment for your fertility referral?
I was referred January 5th and received a letter to say they had the referral and not to contact them until the 14th March if i still hadn’t heard.
Still haven’t heard yet but was pleased to have the letter with the date as I’ll be straight in the phone.
I think it really varies greatly depending on the area

@TinyDancer91 glad your DH has heard back. Hopefully he’s got an appointment this week 🤞🏼

AF arrived for my today. So a 28 day cycle. Wonder what this month will be

@TinyDancer91 yeah I think we've been in the numb stage for a while. I do occasionally take tests but even before we had the SA results back I'd stopped being hopeful. We're just shrugging our shoulders and getting on with the process, and getting on with our lives as they are now. And booking holidays we'd be unlikely to take with a child lol. Sending hugs!

@Alexis7890 Thanks for your reply. I actually don't know about wait times in our area but it's reassuring that yours could be so quick. I can't even find out what the eligibility requirements are or how much IVF we're entitled to in our area, but I'm assuming my age (35 v soon) isn't a problem or they'd not have bothered seeing us at all. We're just on a waiting game now for our next appointment (late April I assume).

Thank you and this is so true

It’s such a lonely journey and not many people can empathise with you other than people you’ve not met on the internet.

It's not exactly something you can moan about in the staff room 😂
💐to all xx

Hi @taytay2020 im so sorry your nhs experience was so bad, our referral was really fast back in January 2022 but that might be as fertility treatment was our only option. After multiple ovulation induction cycles (most of which I didn’t respond to) i think we will be going down the ivf route with icsi as well. Seeing my consultant again next week to plan either one more go at ovulation induction before ivf or straight for ivf now which will be a 6-8 week wait for funding to be approved then get started. I am hoping we will have started ivf by June! Do you know how fast they can progress things in your area?

Hi everyone, I posted in the previous thread early on, so probably just over a year ago, then I've barely looked at mumsnet since! Our ttc journey has been so anticlimactic that it just helped me to not think about it much. But things are now happening so here's my brain dump! I hope this is ok.

I'm nearly 35, DH is 36. We've been ttc since Jan2021, and got nowhere. I went to the doctor in March2022, and they arranged a blood test for me (day 5ish) and a SA for DH. My blood test happened some time in April, his SA was booked for late May but then we got covid just before it so it had to be pushed back to late August 😩 My results were ok, his were v poor, so repeat SA in early Nov2022, same poor results. So then we were promised a referral to the fertility clinic. Late Dec2022 DH was asked to do a blood test (I think as an elegibility check for the referral although we weren't told this at the time). Waited 7 weeks and still no sign of the results or the referral so we chased up and found out the dr had received the blood test results but forgot to actually do the referral 😡 Anyway, we finally had our first appointment at the fertility clinic this week, March2023, and were immediately told that we'll almost certainly need ICSI IVF. This was not a surprise (although we did have to google the details). We now have an 8 week wait for more detailed blood test results (genetics etc) and our next appointment.

I guess the main things I wanted to braindump are:

1. I'm so frustrated by how slow the process is! And how none of the steps are explained! We didn't know what his blood test was for in December, and at first we didn't even know we were both supposed to attend the appointment this week, cos the appointment letter was only sent to DH and didn't even mention my name. (And obviously it's completely INFURIATING that we didn't know we were wasting our time 2 years ago.)
2. I had a transvaginal ultrasound during the appointment and it was FASCINATING! I kinda wish I'd told DH to stay and watch so he could see too😀I was about a day off ovulating and we could see the massive shape of the follicle about to release an egg. And apparently I have a retroverted uterus - cool! It was honestly so interesting.
3. DH and I are both...kinda ok about the IVF thing? I obviously wish we didn't have to but honestly it's been 2 years, we're not exactly shocked. I'm more worried about how we'll feel as we go through the process, and especially if it doesn't work.
4. The dr doing my ultrasound kinda suggested that I don't tell DH what great shape my uterus and ovaries are in. I don't know how I feel about that advice?! (Well, ok, I ignored it and told him straight away, but I guess I can see where she's coming from?) I know I kinda led her to it by making a joke about not rubbing it in, but honestly I think he deserved to know?! At the very least, it's reassuring that we don't have further complications to deal with.

So yeah, there's a few things on my mind right now. Can anyone else relate?! I don't have any close friends who needed IVF, so I think I'll be turning to mumsnet more this year.

@IsLarryFromSomething sorry to hear your feeling down.
It’s such a lonely journey and not many people can empathise with you other than people you’ve not met on the internet.

I was due yesterday but no AF yet. But also negative tests. Happened last month so I think my cycle has just changed to being 26/27 days now. Just feels like my body decided to go rogue just when I needed it to be clockwork

Sorry to hear that your feeling down about it @islarryfromsomething. I was surprised how down i felt after my first month of trying. At least we can vent here to people who understand!

@Plantymcplant thank you, it’s a journey but I’m hopeful we will have success

I think your message maybe got cut off?

I don’t know how old you are but they usually don’t do the tests until 12 months of TTC. Again age dependant if they confirm you are ovulating and your partner has a normal SA then they might not do anything for up to another 12 months unless there are other issues? I think it’s different if you’re over 35 but that’s area dependant. I had an immediate referral without any months TTC because I have very rare natural cycles. Once the referral was made the first appointment was less than a month later so it did then move fast!

@Alexis7890 Thank you so much!

I hope your treatment goes well for you.

Is the re

@Plantymcplant i am currently having fertility treatment through the nhs so happy to try to answer any questions you might have. First of all they need to work out if you fit the criteria for referral and will probably ask you both to have a blood test and maybe a SA for your partner and ultrasound for you but they don’t always do that until after the referral

I got my period and feel down about it, which feels kind of dramatic because it's only been a couple of months, but I think it's probably emotional for everyone in here. I was out with my friends last night and one has a baby and the other is expecting so I think I feel a bit left behind. How ridiculous, right? (And I'm thrilled for them both!)

I'm 5dpo on cycle 8. We have booked a holiday for May and planning to start asking the gp for help when we get home if nothings happened by then. How is everyone else doing?

Has anyone got any tips what to say to the gp to convince them to start testing? I often find when I go to my gp they can be quite dismissive anyway...

@TinyDancer91 sorry you’re having such a hard time with it all. That’s an awful long time to get no traction. What region of the UK do you live in? I find it baffling how wildly different people’s experiences are.

AF due Thursday for me. I wish I’d been more in tune with my body before we started trying, it’s so hard thinking, ok did this use to happen or is this a new thing.

Happy Monday everyone hope you all have a good week 💐

@bbypinkluffie hmm you are probably right if you’ve still only got one line. But there’s still hope until AF arrives I suppose. I heard somewhere that it can take until a week after your missed period to test positive.

@Feliciacat my AF has not arrived, but my first response early result test had one line last night and one line first thing this morning, so I don’t think it’s happened for me this month xx

@TinyDancer91 the health service is, sadly, very disorganised so I think they must have lost it. Sorry but you should request another :(

@Kofifi good luck on your next cycle!

@NervousNoo hope the SA goes well!

@Ditzydaisychain yeah I can understand that about Jan birthdays; a gloomy time of year!

@bbypinkluffie I hope your AF did not arrive and that you got a BFP?

@TinyDancer91 Mine had his this week. Was told if he hasn't heard from doc in 2 weeks to call them, they didn't indicate there might be any circumstances where it would be longer. Would suggest to me either a lost sample or a communication breakdown between lab and GP. Like @Ditzydaisychain I'd ask for another referral for another one to be safe.