First Timers TTC. Safe space for brain dumps, questions, whinges and celebrations. Part 2!

@yolo23 what day is your appointment? Hope it goes well! At our first appointment we were told about what had been discovered in tests we'd done months previously - no one had bothered to report back to us before this. I also found the internal scan really fascinating, and now insist my DH gets to watch all future scans so he can share the joy 😀 So I hope you have a positive experience too!

@yolo23 thanks, the first one last night was fine! I got my DH to do it 😂 I talked away about nonsense to take my mind off it (pretending he was listening) while he concentrated on what he was doing! I was a bit blindsided by how worried I was about the whole thing yesterday, but I'm feeling better now and going to be taking it easy over the next couple of weeks. Next scan is this Friday, at which point I think I'll get a much better idea of how many eggs/how soon collection will take place/whether I can do a fresh transfer/etc. Eeeek!

@taytay2020 good luck for when you start stims 🥰 hope you’re keeping ok! Exciting to be on a treatment plan - sending you lots of hope xx

@TinyDancer91 sorry it's not better news. It sounds like I'm in a similar place, but a few months ahead of you. We had our first appointment at the clinic in April, followed by that 12 week wait for chromosome results, and we're doing ICSI. I'm also higher risk of OHSS (although for different reasons).

But the good news is I'm starting stims next week, so the first bit of waiting is over! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we're able to do a fresh transfer in 2-3 weeks rather than waiting for a FET due to my risk of OHSS. If we have to wait for the FET, we'll be waiting until January due to other life commitments.

It's frustrating having to wait, not knowing how or when things will happen (or if it will ever happen), but I recommend keeping busy with other projects and living your best life for now!

@Rockyslife hiya!

We were officially referred in November 22 - I had my appt expedited and we have our first next week.

I have confirmed stage 3/4 endo which causes horrendous periods so me being off the pill means it’s debilitating at times to live with - hence the referral being expedited as realistically I can’t stay off the pill for any longer than neccessary. It affects my work and personal life each month.

I live in Wales if that helps x

@TinyDancer91 I remember chatting with you a long time ago! You probably won’t remember - it’s been interesting reading your update and I hope you’re keeping ok after some digestion.

I just wanted to say that any findings are a positive step in the right direction. Information is power and it sounds really productive that there are further investigations being done but that the professionals have recommended a potential treatment plan!

I think it’s easy to get held up on the negatives and it’s important to acknowledge how far you’ve come to finding out what the issues may be - with hope to over come the necessary hurdles.

I’ve got my own fertility appt next week 😬 I’ve got endo (confirmed - had 2 operations) but after the 2nd op we experienced a chemical pregnancy. In some ways it’s positive (and totally unexpected), as it’s a step closer to the goal… but in other ways it feels that the hurdles just keep coming! 🤣

I hope things are quicker than expected for you and OH 😊✨ xx

Were waiting for our first appointment with the fertility clinic and it's proving to be such a long wait already, how long did you have to wait for an appointment? Some scary information to take in, but I feel like you are in the best hands now and they are there to make this happen for us couples who may have unfortunate issues of conceiving naturally. I never thought id be in this situation, but I dont think anyone does 😭 xx

Hi @TinyDancer91

Sorry you've not been given the best news. I hope you're OK and let yourself have the time to process all the info and the plan. Sometimes I feel better with a plan but you can't expect to skip the part where you feel upset or overwhelmed or whatever!

Friday will be 18 months since my copper coil removal.
I have an appointment with fertility on 25th Sep but it's a telephone consultation so I don't know whether they will order more tests etc or if it's just for triage.

Feeling a bit hopeless now. Still trying but I'm pretty tired of sex on schedule.
Work is very busy and quite stressful at the moment so I'm hoping (it's been a very full on 6 months). I'm hoping that will be easing up in the next few months.

Hi @TinyDancer91. I’ve just read through all your posts again using ‘see all’. It’s a really interesting diary. From doing this, it seems to me that polycystic ovaries can explain your random long cycles you occasionally have. I remember you being confused about them! Polycystic ovaries don’t necessarily mean you have the syndrome either if my understanding is correct. The syndrome can preclude getting pregnant as there are hormonal issues associated with it. Just having polycystic ovaries just means they have to be careful when giving you fertility treatment. I’m not a doctor so I could be wrong but what I’m trying to say is that I think polycystic ovaries are quite common and as long as your other hormone levels are normal then ovulation and implantation will probably generally be ok.

Your main issue is definitely OH’s sperm count. ICSI would make sense for this. I’m sorry you have to wait so long. My OH is awaiting a semen analysis and I suspect his will also be low. He has a varicocele (a varicose vein on the testicle) and this often affects sperm count since it makes the testicles hot. I wasn’t mentioning that to make it about me; I’m saying that I’m likely also dealing with male factor infertility so I know a bit about ICSI and sperm count. As such, I know that going cold turkey on caffeine and alcohol, taking WellMan Conception and wearing loose boxers will help bring his sperm count up. Have you tried these things? At least if you do this then you’ve got a nice three month period of making sure his sperm are as good as can be for the New Year. And guess what? Three months is how long it’ll take for these things to have an effect. So you’re sitting pretty with the appointment being in the New Year. Can you take Pregnacare too? They’re the best preconception vitamins.

I’m sorry you’ve had a lot to process. Your results are not ideal of course so definitely take time to process them. You and OH are still reproductively young (me and DH are 36 and 41!) so you have time to go through these treatments. I really hope it works out for you.

New here! Wishing you all the best with your appointment @TinyDancer91. Me (31) and DH (29) are about to start trying for our first. Still learning the ins and outs of testing LH while I wait for the withdrawal bleed after coming off the mini pill earlier this month. Have always had irregular cycles so the journey will surely be a barrel of laughs.

Fingers crossed for you all.

@TinyDancer91 im so sorry to see it got cancelled, hope they have got in touch with a new appointment for you? I know how hard it is to keep waiting and hoping but your day will come please don’t lose your hope! Once you get there these clinics can work miracles ❤️

Hey @TinyDancer91 I’m so sorry to hear that. Excuse me if I’ve missed something and you’ve already gone private but could you go private? My husband has seen a private urologist and he’s been diagnosed with a varicocele and can get surgery on it. This all has happened within the space of a month! So it’s worth the money if only for for the speed. Only £500 for a consultation. Not sure what scan and surgery cost but he has health insurance so only paid the excess anyway. We’d pay even if we didn’t have insurance because of how much reassurance the speed of the appointments have been. If that’s not a financial option then I’m sorry for suggesting it. It could be worth using savings for though.

My point is that I get why you’ll be devastated by the appointment being cancelled because answers are everything and you’re lost without them. At least you’re only 32 (judging from your username). You probably have at least 8 years to try fertility treatments if they’re an option. I really hope you get another appointment asap!

Hey All,

Hoping you’re all okay.

I was just 4 days late, and although deep down I knew I was just late, I’d allowed myself to get a little hopeful.

DH wants us to start investigating if there are any issues, as we’ve not used contraception for over 2 years. But I feel as I only started tracking ovulation in jan they will tell us to wait a year. What would you do? I only am going off my friend being told to come back after a year. I overthink and get myself worried about going to the GP so thoughts from rational people would be very welcome.

Like PP lots of babies all over in my current life. I’ve just been asked to be a Godmother which is so lovely and I am so honoured but I ended up crying on my way home and I’m not really sure why. Spend lots of times with other babies and don’t cry.

Have a nice weekend, hope it’s not rainy where you are ☀

Hi all, I think this thread might be for me, hope it's ok to join you all!

My first pregnancy very sadly ended in a TFMR at 25 weeks due to a severe brain abnormality picked up at the 20 week scan (this was last year and I think I'm still in shock about the whole thing really as it feels like someone else's life). I then fell pregnant again in June but unfortunately had a chemical.

I'm definitely struggling with seeing other people seemingly falling pregnant quickly and brining their baby home but I'm also trying to stay optimistic.

I look forward to following your journeys ♥️

Hi guys - can I join? I've had 2 missed miscarriages since starting TTC No1 - first of which was after 2.5 years of trying and I miscarried in 2019 (with my ex). Recently miscarried my second pregnancy after 6 months trying with my current partner. Ready to try again right away as soon as I get positive opks!

Meanwhile, so many people at work and in our personal lives are conceiving left, right and centre!

This is how I'm feeling. Literally a third of my co-workers are expecting, have just given birth or are just coming back from mat leave. Several of my friends have recently had babies. Everywhere I look, everyone else has a baby. We are in our 8th month of trying and I feel terrible.

Sorry to hear that @BeeLieve86. I don’t want this to sound like toxic positivity but at least you know what you’re dealing with now so can act accordingly. Obviously you’ll need to mourn the fact that you can’t conceive naturally; that’s a big deal!

@TinyDancer91 have you made any progress? My partner might have a Variocele which would cause infertility. He’s not had semen analysis yet but he’ll get that and a testicular scan in due course. I’m getting blood tests to check my ovarian reserve and to check if I’m ovulating but I can’t have normal blood tests due to awful veins. So I’m getting it done via my neck! We shall see what all these test results show but basically, we do have primary infertility. It’s just a case of finding out why.

Meanwhile, so many people at work and in our personal lives are conceiving left, right and centre! Especially newlyweds like me and my partner. I’m pleased for people who conceive but it’s always a slap in the face to be honest!

@TinyDancer91

hey hun,

I haven’t posted on here in a long long time.

so we actually have a diagnosis…

my partner has obstructive azoospermia so our only chance of conceiving a biological child is with a surgical sperm retrieval and then ICSI.

we’ve only known for about a week and I am absolutely devastated. 0% chance of conceiving naturally 💔

we actually saw Dr Ramsay and have to say he is absolutely wonderful!

how are you doing? How are you all? Xxx

@TinyDancer91 yeah I did think about it, but it's quite a lot of money (I'm thinking another £80, without checking?) And seeing as the nurse couldn't get a vein last week I'm really disinclined to pay the money when it might not even be easy / possible for them to do it on the day!

Hi all it’s been a while since I posted just been feeling a little down as I had a chemical at the start of June 😔 I’ve tried not to let it get to me but it’s made me super anxious. Been back to it tracking ovulation and currently on TWW and waiting to see what the outcome is - on holiday atm so have nice distractions but not looking forward to being back to reality in a week.

woops had meant to tag you @TinyDancer91 and good news re your appt!